[Stephanie2014]

Hi, I really don't know what to do. I split with my ex-partner 3 months ago who was emotionally abusive and controlling and since then, I've started having weird symptoms. I sometimes feel like I'm not all there and everything seems foggy. These symptoms seem to last for hours and then they just go and I feel okay again. I noticed these feelings start when I start feeling down. I also keep feeling down on and off. I'm also very forgetful. I'm still functioning and I have an 8 year old son and I make sure he gets everything he needs and that he is looked after. I am just finding these symptoms very distressing. Is it dissociation disorder? Will it ever go away? During these times, it's like I completely forget who I am and time seems to pass very quickly. I'm scared to go to my doctor in case I get hospitalised and my son needs me. I'm so scared. Will I feel like this forever? I don't know what to do. I feel completely alone and lost and like I'm going crazy sometimes. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

[possum220]

Falling down is not a good sign. It could be neuroligical/organic rather than psychological. Please go and see a doctor so that you can be checked out for whatever it is. Your son needs you to be well. The earlier things are looked into the better. Good Luck.

[Fuzzybear]

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Stephanie2014

Hi, I really don't know what to do. I split with my ex-partner 3 months ago who was emotionally abusive and controlling and since then, I've started having weird symptoms. I sometimes feel like I'm not all there and everything seems foggy. These symptoms seem to last for hours and then they just go and I feel okay again. I noticed these feelings start when I start feeling down. I also keep feeling down on and off. I'm also very forgetful. I'm still functioning and I have an 8 year old son and I make sure he gets everything he needs and that he is looked after. I am just finding these symptoms very distressing. Is it dissociation disorder? Will it ever go away? During these times, it's like I completely forget who I am and time seems to pass very quickly. I'm scared to go to my doctor in case I get hospitalised and my son needs me. I'm so scared. Will I feel like this forever? I don't know what to do. I feel completely alone and lost and like I'm going crazy sometimes. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

you ask in your post whether this is dissociative disorder...answer Im sorry but we can not make a diagnosis of your problems only your own doctors can do that.. will it ever go away? the good part of if this is dissociation problems is yes you can do things that will stop this...how well each person is different so each person has their own ways of grounding their self (self nurturing, caling, relaxing, focusing their awareness on their suroundings)

one thing I can tell you is that I know many people who go through depression (having sadness, inability to concentrate, memory problems, feeling disconnected.....dissociative like symptoms too) after getting a divorce/losing a loved one and medications help them. with no need to be hospitalized.

my suggestion contact a treatment provider who can help you feel better soon. here in the USA as long as you are not a danger to yourself or others its very hard to get hospitalized.

[Stephanie2014]

thanks for your replies. I've been crying all morning because I'm scared about what's happening to me. I'm taking anti-depressants but I still feel really bad. I left my ex and since then I've just been going downhill and I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm really scared and if I have to be hospitalized, I don't know who's gonna take care of my 8 year old son. I have my family but they are very busy and probably won't be able to take time off work. I'm ashamed of myself because I'm feeling like this and I feel like I can't cope. I think that my family think I'm coping fine and I lie to them and lie to myself about how I'm feeling. I've also lost weight and having sleeping problems. I just don't know what to do for the best.

[possum220]

Please go to your treatment provider. Procrastination is an enemy of any bodies wellness. You won't know how your family will react until you let them know. Our imaginations will run riot on us until we take action. You are talking worse case scenario when you don't have any basis for it. I've heard that 98% of what we fear never happens. I have made myself sick with worry over many things in life and they never happened. I do understand.

To look after your boy you need to take care of yourself. Please take care of yourself.

[Stephanie2014]

Thanks for your reply. I'm going to see my dr in the morning. I'm just so worried. My mum has been hospitalised twice and diagnosed with personality disorder and I worried that is what has happened to me. I was neglected as a child, been in a series of bad relationships and now here I am age 30, no job - I quit my job when I left my ex to move closer to my family and I had to flee because he was harrassing me, I have a lot of debt - another result of being with my ex, he didn't work and controlled all my money, I have my beautiful son but I'm feeling unablw to cope properly, I'm just a mess and I'm ashamed of myself. I always make bad decisions and I just feel like my life is ruined forever.

[possum220]

I am so pleased to hear that you have an appointment with a doctor. Hope they can run some tests and allay your fears. It sounds like you need a support person in real life. Maybe the doctor can help you with this too.

[likewater]

It could be anything or a combination of things. Maybe your antidepressant is not right. One for you or the wrong dosage so that could explain why your still depressed. As for falling, definitely talk to your dr. I , myself fall a lot. I think it's due to dissociation and fibromyalgia in my case. It sounds like
you are dissociating but only a dr and or therapist or maybe both together could determine what's going on. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I'm very glad you are strong and doing what you need to to so you can take good care of yourself. May angels surround you.

[Stephanie2014]

Thank u so much for your replies. The day I wrote the last message on here, I had been crying all day and the feeling I was having of feeling disconnected were scaring me, I ended up calling my dad and step mum and telling them everything. My step mum came to dr with me and he has prescribed me sedatives but just for short term and has told me to rest and said I have also been putting too much pressure on myself to find a job and to put that on hold for now. He told me that I didn't give the anti-depressants enough time to kick in and that I have to be on them a little longer to see if they work or not. The sedatives are making me feel better for now but I'm also worried about relapsing when I come off them. I'm so glad I'm feeling better right now, I have never felt the way I was feeling before and it was scary.

[possum220]

I'm glad that you got to tell your family and that you got to the doctor. It does help to communicate with others in the real world. Our minds can get so twisted in on itself at times. Please stay in contact with your doctor. It helps us all to be heard. Your doc will also need to keep on top of your meds. Hugs if you want them.

[Bill3]

each person has their own ways of grounding their self (self nurturing, caling, relaxing, focusing their awareness on their suroundings)

amandalouise, what is caling? (I suppose it was a typo but I could not figure out what it would be without the typo).

Thank you!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Bill3

amandalouise, what is caling? (I suppose it was a typo but I could not figure out what it would be without the typo).

Thank you!

yes typo lol the word is calming.....things that make you feel calm, comfortable, happy,......

examples...

when I have a problem ....anxious, depressed, not connected to myself, numb.... I take my canoe down to the lake and row around on the water. feeling how my body is moving, feeling the water, watching the wildlife.....all this being out in nature I can feel my body calm down, relax, my mood calms down and relaxes....

[artyaspie]

Think you are very courageous, to make all these changes in your life and that of your son, leaving your abusive partner, moving, these things are huge and it all sounds very traumatic! Tears are good because it means your feelings are working fine, and can be very healing in my experience! Might be an idea to look for a support group, better yet a therapist for long-term support? I had a difficult childhood too and found therapy a life saver!