Shattered

I sometimes dissociate, especially in therapy because of what we are talking about...but something else is happening that I really don't understand.

Lately, I have an image of like glass shattering as if I've walked through a glass door, and the glass shards are suspended in thr air around me...they sparkle, reflect, and have images and memories on them...and I kind of see the 'real' world going on in the distance, but feel like I'm just standing there bleeding from the broken glass terrified and also in shock that it has happened. I'm so afraid and 'naked' in that I'm frozen in time and space and bleeding from all the cuts. I tried to explain this to therapist, but he just couldn't seem to understand, but he always, always is the only one who can. I don't know what to do....

Does anyone else understand?

WB

What do you think the dream means? Once you have an understanding of what the dream means you will probably stop having it. I think it is just a way your mind is trying to move forward and is expressing that in your dream.

Here in NY (the one in the USA as opposed to other locations) seeing things that are not real is called a hallucination, or delusional thought. here this kind of thing isnt considered a dissociative symptom/dissociative problem. but having hallucinations can happen whether a person has a mental disorder or not.

I know some people that have the same glass type hallucinations that you have posted their hallucinations come from things like borderline personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia.....

I also know many self injurers that have glass type hallucinations because self injurers usually if not always fantasize, imagine what they would like to do/use,...and other self injury thoughts, delusions and hallucinatory activities in their brains.

mine come from being a self injurer and bipolar disorder...when under stress my mind conjures up all kinds of self injury hallucinations, when I have strange hallucinations/delusional thoughts like shards of glass, or other objects breaking around me, or any other type hallucination, I contact my treatment provider and they make changes to my medications. this usually gets the problem back in control.

You expressed yourself so well here. Why don't you print your post and let your therapist read it?

Thanks Claritytoo for answering...but it isn't a dream, more of a veil that I see through much of the dsy for thr past week or so..

AmandsLouise, I had no idea that others sometimes see the same types of things or the shattrted glass illusions. I have rried tslking to T snd saw pdoc todsy. He hust upped my anti-depressant and pain medd which for some reason did not feel right...and I left in a funk feeling unhesrd.

Yumi, thanks for yhe c omment. I think now thst AL has mentioned that this can ot probably consistent theme, that I will see him discuss some alternatives...

Thanks guys,for giving me s ome great suggedtions and advice!!

-WB

odd reading this! when I was remembering lots of horrible things in therapy, which due to dissociation was just like going through them for the first time, I often had an experience - it felt too real to be called anything else - of walking through shattering glass, in slow motion, and being covered in cuts - my therapist understood though she was scared for me, too, she said the intensity of the pain was probably causing it, and because I am a creative person it manifested itself in this way. Make sense? Hope it helps

Yes, very much...again why I was surprised that Amandalouise mentioned that she had seen it more than once in her practice. It has scared me very much this week and have been non-verbal at times because of it. It is finally better some today. My T was stressed when I was trying to tell him about it, and pdoc just didn't seem to get it...and normally he always 'gets' me. Thanks for the note artieaspy....take care.. WB

thanks but having hallucinations is not something new to me as a client nor is it new to the therapists...hallucinations happen with all kinds of mental disorders, physical health problems and can also happen with out any mental disorders... a person can hallucinate any number of things just because they dont get enough sleep...its one of the common symptoms of sleep deprivation, psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, stress, anxiety,....all kinds of things can cause a person to hallucinate (see things that are not, and can not possibly be real)

shards of glass is one very common hallucination people in general have under many different situations,

other common hallucinations people in general have is things like...

hallucinating you see a shadow,
hallucinating you can smell something without actually having the item there in your hand....
hallucinating you are seeing people that are not real
hallucinating objects talk to you

my point it finding out someone is having a hallucination is not new for any treatment providers its actually a common ailment that treatment providers (therapists, psychiatrists, medical doctors .....) see and treat because it can be caused by so many different mental, physical and normal things...

give you an example during hurricane sandy one of my dogs had to go to the bathroom, I put him on the leash and took him to the back yard, I must not have clipped the leash on right because suddenly the leash went slack I pulled it in and no dog.. when I called to my dog and he didnt come my mind went into rapid thoughts. and my mind started conjuring up all kinds of mental hallucinations and a very vivid visual hallucination of finding him dead with glass, and branches embedded in him. I went back inside and told my wife he had gotten loose and she found him safe and sound doing his duty behind the border fence.

having hallucinations is nothing new to me or any other person as a treatment provider and its not news to me as a person who sometimes has them.

but again thanks.

You take care to! - and thanks to Amandalouise it is good to know these experiences are shared by so many! the fear and panic they can cause is the worse thing

i don't know if this belongs here but i hallucinate a mans voice in my head all day long every day and he tells me how to put my clothes on and gives me "advice" so nothing bad happens. his voice is not mean or anything but it is irritating as i have to do what he tells me, not anything like doing bad thing, but just counseling me on my apperance and how i should get dressed. i aften hear him saying yes or no and smetimes i'll have to do certain things like change the watch or rings i'm wearing to another hand or finger, this goes on all day long, it gets debilitating. Could this be compulsive disorder? I am bi-polar and schitzoaffective too.Any thoughts?

When I was less together than I am now, my 'caretaker' would order me about all day long. He was male, so it was like having an inner big brother! As this is not a detructive or negative voice could be a caretaker? Non-professional opinion here.

yes sometimes i think it must be from someone who took care of me as a child. I was in a childrens hospital for a few months when i was 5 for scarlet fever.

my non professional opinion would be first to ask whether this "caretaker" was an alter or was he a hallucination.

I did have a protector, caretaker hallucination otherwise known as my invisible friend. because having invisible friends are ruled out when diagnosing dissociative disorders my treatment providers treated this situation as harmless childhood fun and possible psychosis, they put me on some meds and my invisible friend hallucination (not related to being an alternate personality) went away so they determined it to be psychosis in me, another invisible friend / hallucination "caretaker" did not go away with meds but was not an alternate personality so they considered this one to just be harmless she needs a friend and in her mind created an invisible friend to take care of her situation.

where as my protector/caretaker alternate personalities well they had their own way of being, their own job, purpose, reason for being that affected my life in all areas like academic, occupational, social....so treatment for having this was not a hallucination/invisible friend situation and required years of therapy. once I was able to handle those things this alter took care of for me, that alter integrated/became one with me, as one whole person again.

your question could it be a caretaker? only your treatment providers can say what this "caretaker' is with in you and what to do for and about it. we cant ell you whether we had the same situations but cant tell you anything else like whether this is a caretaker or protector alter or a hallucination.

my suggestion if you really want the answer to what this "caretaker" is contact your treatment provider.

Sorry, thought I made it clear it was an alter, in my case, and I had therapy for over twenty years to get to grips with being the person I now am.

People who take care of us can become so important, I think I can remember just about every kind person I ever met from about age three.

aaah thanks for clarifying. it wasnt clear to me that it was an alter because this thread was about hallucinating about shards of glass/ glass shattering/ broken glass and other hallucinations.

My fault, I am getting really anxious being on this site - I always have trouble with feeling exposed - and it tends to make me fragment, shattering glass is a part of my trauma landscape and always effects me powerfully, I should have been more careful! Its all so hard, always.

Have you dreamt or imagined images relating to glass before?

Water, especially oceans, are a re-occurring theme for me. Water always signifies emotions in my dreams-and it happens over and over and over. But still, it took me a while to figure this out!

My sister talked about broken glass a lot when she started hallucinating when she got a bipolar psychosis. She was confused about the glass but kept talking about it.

Sorry, I don't understand either. Just throwing that out there in case it sparks something.