Further down the road.

Wondered if anyone has has a similar experience to this - I have been having therapy for DID since I was twenty, on and off, and now have a fairly cooperative gang who mostly work together. About a year ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome. This caused chaos! It was the right time to find this out, as before this NONE of my alters would have excepted the idea of a neurological disorder - we were called insane too often by our abusor for that. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and how it effected them?

I had a diagnosis of DID (Since then all my alters have been integrated) and at the same time had many other mental and physical health diagnosis...here where I live this is called having dual diagnosis. when my internal system of alters was having trouble accepting any of my diagnosis's my treatment providers told me this is pretty normal thing....

most people even those without DID go through a period of adjustment where at first they are told a diagnosis, then they enter a stage of wow at least now I know what was wrong with me and then a denial stage where they are sort of in disbelief and questioning their diagnosis and eventually they move on to full acceptance and following treatment options...

if normal people without DID go through these normal stages from diagnosis to acceptance its understandable and normal for DID people to go through each of these stages and each of their alters within their internal system to also go through this process.

after my treatment providers explained it to me, I wasnt so concerned when ever I discovered one or more of my internal system of alters were at various stages in this process of being diagnosed, denial and acceptance stages. if normal people go through this then yea I will go through it too.

even now after all my alters are integrated and on a normal level I get a new diagnosis I go through these normal stages in the process. it is what it is and I move on.

ok to that excepting the fact that I have not integrated, because I don't believe in it! Personally, my alters were so imporant to my survival that I really cannot imagine life without them. also that Aspergers is a tricky one here as it involves 'identity diffusion', which has a lot of likenesses to multiple personality! I believe in moving on too, hey, I do it every day!

for me integration was not a matter where I could choose. the alters were extremely important to me too and they were instrumental in my survival. its just that as I healed they with out any deciding, or whether I wanted them to or not did merge together with me. it was just the natural result of healing from my problems....

with in me it was kind of like when you have a broken bone. whether you like it or not that broken bone is going to heal because thats how the human body works. you take care of the problem and the problem heals. that broken bone may heal straight or crooked or take longer then usual depending upon the treatment, and whether the patient follows the treatment plans, has other health issues or otherwise hinders that path of healing. but eventually that broken bone is going to heal back together with the rest of the body.

the mind/brain is an amazing thing where it can heal. how that healing happens, when and such all depends upon many different paths and outcomes...

for some people with DID they can choose whether to live in the dysfunctional chaos of their DID

for some people they can choose to work on their problems areas enough to live in the style of alters and host not merged but working as a team for the good of the whole collective.

for others they can choose to work on their problems to the extent where integration is possiible and then choose to do it.

but for others like me integration happens naturally through the natural progression of the host healing and then the alters jobs, purposes, reasons for being is no longer there so the alters just one day merge together to form one whole person again.

each persons healing path / the path they choose to take and whether that path turns out the way they want it to with alters and host remaining separate depends upon many different factors in that hosts and internal systems life, make up of the system and ....

well my point is if its in the cards for you and your internal system to be separate like you want it to be it will happen.

if not well like I found out whether I wanted it to happen or not, it did and there is life after integration and it turned out wonderful for me..

I am not DID nor Aspy...but I just wanted to pick up on one thing that AmandaLouise so wisely said and that was about getting any diagnosis and integrating it into self.

I am BPD...and at first I was fired up/hurt/ashamed/confused so many things..especially when reading about how others see us and how many professionals won't even deal with us...I was so chaotic. It wasn't until my T got me to sit down and write out which characteristics of the diagnosis resonated with me...and which did NOT resonate with me.... Thank God he is also very wise and gave me a very different point of view of some of the worst characteristics...(just a way that anyone that hurt would try to get their needs met..etc) Writing it all out and finding positive books and websites that dealt with it well really helped. I ended up with like a 12pp essay..lol

When I think about a little one trying to absorb such information, vs a tween or young male vs young female part trying to understand....I can certainly see where chaotic feelings must have been flying.

Is there one part that is better at communicating with the little ones or younger parts...or an older/maternal part that might work with the feelings of some of the others...to help get a clear message through to all that Asperger's can also be a beautiful gift...such sensitive souls...creative....able to handle many situations and people the others cannot, higher intelligence, great with animals, etc. And ways that females and males tend to develop and finally reveal the aspects of Asperger's that are more pervasive...females hide it much longer...used to having to "copy" behaviours of others..etc. Thus which parts might have harder time with uncovering these traits...etc.

I hope you have wonderful loving supportive and knowledgeable people arround you all, like AL to help you adjust and move on with healing...

huggles for all...
WB

That is great, Amandalouise, and I am very glad you have managed this amazing achievement - healing on that scale is a wonderful thing and proves it can be done. I was lucky in having a therapist trained by John Southgate, who has done al lot of research into DID with emphasis on attachment, and the different ways of resolving the complex nature of interaction between alters.

Thank you so much for this, and you are right, aspies are cool But the fur was flying here and it has taken me quite some time to calm it all down again - still doing so in fact. When abusive people have spent so long destroying your ability to believe in your sanity and your perceptions, taking on board something like this is hard! It frightens me how easy it is for people to get bad feedback or even misdiagnosis, at times in their lives when they need clarity most - or in the case of DID to be told that it doesn't exist at all! There is a lot of research involved in healing, I often feel a need for one of those huge libraries, with green shaded lamps studious folk shushing you, but the internet has made it all easier to access.