[Claritytoo]

I saw my t today, I was afriad and didn't know why. In fact I have been having feelings of great fear for two or three weeks but I don't know why. I have asked us who is afraid and what are we afraid of but no one will tell me. My t was explaining that the ones with the memories can show them on a screen so if some of the others want to see they can. I explained to my t that my internal self has no idea how to do that, and no one is willing to say what the memories are. I am very fearful of fear. Its goes around and around and we don't get anywhere. The ones with the visual memories are on one side and those of us with the physical and emotional memories are on the other side. I don't know how to get them to be able to connect. It seems impossible. I think my t is getting frustrated with us. Like we aren't trying. We just don't know were to start. We can't see the beginning of the effort. I am trying to problem solve without the right questions. I don't know what to ask in order to understand my system better. We do need to know. And I and my t believe that when we do it will help us heal. Has anyone had a similar experience.

[geis]

Since trying to figure out what the memories are isn't working, maybe a different approach might work better for you. Maybe folks inside need to feel safe before they can begin to look at the memories. You don't have to know the exact memory to be able to respond to fear.

I've found that my parts often need me (or someone else inside) to comfort them and help them feel safe, just like any external child would. I hold them (I have a doll that represents my parts externally), rock them, talk to them gently...again, just like I would with any outside kid who was scared. I've also found it really helpful to work with them to create their own safe places where they know nothing bad can get them.

I don't know if that helps you or not...just throwing some alternate ideas out.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by geis

Since trying to figure out what the memories are isn't working, maybe a different approach might work better for you. Maybe folks inside need to feel safe before they can begin to look at the memories. You don't have to know the exact memory to be able to respond to fear.

I've found that my parts often need me (or someone else inside) to comfort them and help them feel safe, just like any external child would. I hold them (I have a doll that represents my parts externally), rock them, talk to them gently...again, just like I would with any outside kid who was scared. I've also found it really helpful to work with them to create their own safe places where they know nothing bad can get them.

I don't know if that helps you or not...just throwing some alternate ideas out.

It is someones job to hold the fear. We take them as they are. I will consider what you have said. I don't know who would do the comforting. I will ask her if she wants comforting next time she is out.

[Gr3tta]

could you think of any nice memories that you could practice getting parts working together for? or try that screening idea with a nicer memory? to learn how to do it?

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

could you think of any nice memories that you could practice getting parts working together for? or try that screening idea with a nicer memory? to learn how to do it?

Thats a good idea using a nice memory to show everyone. I will keep that in mind. Thanks.

[possum220]

Last week I saw my p'doc. I was afraid. I realized I was scared of what I thought his responses were. I felt like I was on the other end of a tunnel. It isn't nice when we are afraid at the therapists.

((((Hugs)))) Claritytoo.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by possum220

Last week I saw my p'doc. I was afraid. I realized I was scared of what I thought his responses were. I felt like I was on the other end of a tunnel. It isn't nice when we are afraid at the therapists.

((((Hugs)))) Claritytoo.

Thanks for sharing that with me. I hope you feel better at your next session.

[kimmydawn]

Hi there. It's good to meet you.

What helped me so much with this issue to therapy to was keep talking. Just talk and talk and talk. When I did that, things were slipped into the conversation from deep within that would sometimes give t, me or both an inkling.

For years I would clam up during times such as this and found after time that if I just kept dialogue open, there was a chance of dealing. Dealing equals progress.

As someone who "graduated" from therapy I learned one thing...patience is key...from yourselves and from t. Most of the time it's baby steps for sure.

I wish you well and so understand what you're speaking of.

Good luck!

KD