[sickchick24]

So you know how when you write in your journal and you can hear your voice and feel your personality shine through the words? Well for like all of my childhood I didn't really have that. Like I didn't know what my personality was or who I really was as a person. So I'd try to sound like a preppy popular white girl. I've recently found my internal voice and have been creating myself (basically just tryna be a good person). Does anyone have thoughts on this? Could this be a dissociative disorder of some kind? I have a history of depersonalization disorder.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by sickchick24

So you know how when you write in your journal and you can hear your voice and feel your personality shine through the words? Well for like all of my childhood I didn't really have that. Like I didn't know what my personality was or who I really was as a person. So I'd try to sound like a preppy popular white girl. I've recently found my internal voice and have been creating myself (basically just tryna be a good person). Does anyone have thoughts on this? Could this be a dissociative disorder of some kind? I have a history of depersonalization disorder.

if you were here in my location no purposely trying to be someone else, purposely trying to sound like someone else is not called a dissociative disorder. here where I live and work this is called fantasy play, acting, pretending...which is completely normal they even teach acting students here in the city who want to audition for broadway to do this, even in high school, those that want to participate in the school musicals are taught to sound like other people. kids in nursery school are taught to play dress up, make this animal sound , sound like a mom, sound like a dad, sound like a friend.... gosh I could go on and on of all the different normal situations that involve human being play acting/fantasy play/ ... here where I live and work this kind of stuff is not included in any diagnostic criteria for dissociative disorders....

my suggestion talk wiith your treatment provider, they can explain to you in more detail about this and what symptoms /problems got you diagnosed with depersonalization disorder.

it's good you journal. (it helps)

i do that too. (recently restarted it)

welcome to PC

[sickchick24]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

if you were here in my location no purposely trying to be someone else, purposely trying to sound like someone else is not called a dissociative disorder. here where I live and work this is called fantasy play, acting, pretending...which is completely normal they even teach acting students here in the city who want to audition for broadway to do this, even in high school, those that want to participate in the school musicals are taught to sound like other people. kids in nursery school are taught to play dress up, make this animal sound , sound like a mom, sound like a dad, sound like a friend.... gosh I could go on and on of all the different normal situations that involve human being play acting/fantasy play/ ... here where I live and work this kind of stuff is not included in any diagnostic criteria for dissociative disorders....


my suggestion talk wiith your treatment provider, they can explain to you in more detail about this and what symptoms /problems got you diagnosed with depersonalization disorder.

I don't think there's anything normal about faking who you are. I think it's very unhealthy

Originally Posted by sickchick24

I don't think there's anything normal about faking who you are. I think it's very unhealthy

i aqgree with you 100 percent.

have you seen someone before about this?

[sickchick24]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

i aqgree with you 100 percent.


have you seen someone before about this?

No I haven't. Recently I've been a lot better but when I meet someone I like I tend to copy parts of their personality and sound like them in my voice. It annoys the hell out of me cus I just wanna be myself all of the time but something makes me wanna copy them. And I'd get it if we knew each other for a long time cus that stuff happens but I'm talkin about doing this after only knowing someone for three weeks

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by sickchick24

I don't think there's anything normal about faking who you are. I think it's very unhealthy

I can see how ....sometimes....this may be the case but not ......always.

for example my wife and I are in a small time acting program with the college as a leisure activity we can do together. just now I have to fake being a drab, sad/depressed suicidal persona nd my wife has to fake being a very happy optimistic person with schizophrenia. on the home front we sometimes slip into our acting parts either practicing our lines or just because the situation at the moment calls for this type of attitude.

in our intimate times together my wife and I roll play (fake) who and what we are to spice up our intimate time together. this has actually been taught to us and encouraged by our therapists.

human beings on a normal level naturally do engage in faking\role playing/ pretending to be people and things they are not...

look at us here on psych central we have made up user names, made up passwords most change what their situations are around a bit to make it hard for someone in their real life to recognize who they are on here in case they happen to find psych psych central since psych central boards can be read even without logging in and open to the public....

yes sometimes its part of someones mental disorder to put on airs\fake who and what they are but in ....my opinion...most times its just part of normal life that has been taught to us as children and adults to play pretend/fake\roll play being someone different then who we really are..

.the reason I hold this opinion is that if there was something abnormal or wrong with this acting classes would not be teaching, parents would not be teaching their children to play pretend, therapists, psychiatrists and medical doctors would not be teaching techniques like roll playing/ acting as if and other therapeutic/medical healing techniques...

Originally Posted by sickchick24

So you know how when you write in your journal and you can hear your voice and feel your personality shine through the words? Well for like all of my childhood I didn't really have that. Like I didn't know what my personality was or who I really was as a person. So I'd try to sound like a preppy popular white girl. I've recently found my internal voice and have been creating myself (basically just tryna be a good person). Does anyone have thoughts on this? Could this be a dissociative disorder of some kind? I have a history of depersonalization disorder.

Back before there were computers and word processors, I hand wrote a 6 page rough draft for a short story in high school. Most interesting part I noticed was that every 1/2 page was a dfferent handwriting technique, like it was a collaboration between 5 different people, and I didn't remember writing most of it.

I said that's normal and carried on. Still kinda sticks out in our head today.

In my head I have plenty of voices. They are all my lifelong itty bitty committee that vote, decide, express opinions on every thing in front of us. It's like, "okay what do yall think?"

Pretty nutz I'm coming to find out.

To get the answers that you are lookng for, you need to talk to a therapist and put the miles in.

[sickchick24]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Back before there were computers and word processors, I wrote a 6 page rough draft for a short story in high school. Most interesting part I noticed was that every 1/2 page was a dfferent handwriting technique, like it was a collaboration between 5 different people, and I didn't remember writing most of it.

I said that's normal and carried on. Still kinda sticks out in our head today.

In my head I have plenty of voices. They are all my lifelong itty bitty committee that vote, decide, express opinions on every thing in front of us. It's like, "okay what do yall think?"

Pretty nutz I'm coming to find out.

I kinda have that too where I decide on how to react to something or what my opinion on something should be. I don't like it, it feels fake I shouldn't have to decide how I feel I should just feel it. Do they have medicine for this? Or therapy?

Sorry babe, on this side of the spectrum it's all therapy.

I'm not sure how to say this, we don't decide, we actually take a debate and vote (and everybody has their own opinion)...if that makes sense. The ayes have it...lol

I edited my response after you answered so, you need to talk to a licensed individual specializing in disassociative disorders to get your answers. Me I've known for 30 years. Do you ever feel like a different person in immediate situations? Does time disappear? Are you male one second then fem the next? Stern and logical then an emotional basket? Do you feel like you have this attitude but then feel like a different attitude next- 2 different people?

Sure bipolar mimicks a lot of this, but total change of personality and beliefs are not bipolar related.

And oh, I suck as an actor. No Oscar here!

Just saying. To be more than one in a body, it gets crowded in here! I hope you find your answers and are not condemned to suffer the fate of the multi-minded. That sounded Kewl!

[sickchick24]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Sorry babe, on this side of the spectrum it's all therapy.

I'm not sure how to say this, we don't decide, we actually take a debate and vote (and everybody has their own opinion)...if that makes sense. The ayes have it...lol

I edited my response after you answered so, you need to talk to a licensed individual specializing in disassociative disorders to get your answers. Me I've known for 30 years. Do you ever feel like a different person in immediate situations? Does time disappear? Are you male one second then fem the next? Stern and logical then an emotional basket? Do you feel like you have this attitude but then feel like a different attitude next- 2 different people?

Sure bipolar mimicks a lot of this, but total change of personality and beliefs are not bipolar related.

And oh, I suck as an actor. No Oscar here!

Just saying. To be more than one in a body, it gets crowded in here! I hope you find your answers and are not condemned to suffer the fate of the multi-minded. That sounded Kewl!

Thanks, I think I might have bipolar instead, it would explain my psychotic break

Originally Posted by sickchick24

Thanks, I think I might have bipolar instead, it would explain my psychotic break

Yeah, psychotic break would be very skitzo bipolar related. What happened?

[sickchick24]

Yeah at first I was like "I'm totally schizophrenic" but after being super energized and talkative and impulsive last month I think it might be bipolar. I had my psychotic break two years ago. I was super dissociated. Depersonalized. A lot. Went mute. Had dillusions that if I talked in certain ways or swallowed at the wrong times is be lesbian and for some reason that was super dangerous and I'd get hurt in some way by people around me for it. Also thought that I was being secretly investigated by the FBI. I was SUPER paranoid and couldn't feel my emotions. Like I checked out and I was on auto pilot. It was the most miserable time of my entire life, just writing about Otis giving me chills and creeping me out. Idk why but I get hella creeped out by myself when I think about it like kinda scared! After two years I'm significantly better. I love myself and I wanna keep loving myself and learn more about myself and grow as a person.

[sickchick24]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Yeah, psychotic break would be very skitzo bipolar related. What happened?

Read the above ^

I've depersonalized through mania. And everyone was out to do me, or bury me in the woods. Everyone was in on the scheme and I prepared myself to be murdered, but it never happened. To beat it I tried to get arrested and pulled out of the situation but all I got was a ticket. I can't believe my mind goes there but it does beyond my mental control. I get ya. I hope you are seeking pro help. Get the proper DX and the help you need

[sickchick24]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I've depersonalized through mania. And everyone was out to do me, or bury me in the woods. Everyone was in on the scheme and I prepared myself to be murdered, but it never happened. To beat it I tried to get arrested and pulled out of the situation but all I got was a ticket. I can't believe my mind goes there but it does beyond my mental control. I get ya. I hope you are seeking pro help. Get the proper DX and the help you need

Yeah it can be crazy! I'm so glad I'm not at that state of mind anymore. What helped me beyond the meds and the therapy was myself tho. I took on a new attitude which was to be more positive and take life lightly. Cus none of us get out alive anyway so might as well have the most fun possible. Also there's this saying that if life weren't funny I'd be tragic. So I try to live by that and gain some humor from my misery. And I've gotten into spirituality too which helps a lot. It's not religion at all. It's more like a self journey. Discovering myself has helped loads and I'm still searching for exactly who I am. Hope you find the same thing. Best of wishes ️

I live by humor. Or I'd go more insane! Lol. If I can't laugh at myself, shoot me. My sig use to say so, maybe I'll put it back.