[possum220]

Just wondering........ I have lived on my own for the past two decades. So not much feedback from others how I may appear. I went to my therapist on Monday and the parts/alters (as per usual) pushed themselves forward and took control. My body ached afterwards from the muscular changes. (Having said that it is Thursday night now as I type this and I can't remember. I can't even explain what too place three days ago).

I have seen recordings of two other people on the net who have DID. One person's voice totally changed from the host. Another person's voice changed very little at all.
I wondered how I appeared to others. Does it look like I am faking it? It feels real...

How do others here experience their alters/parts when they move outside your physical body to the real world? Have you ever been recorded? Did it show you anything that you didn't already know?

I'm thinking back, and your right, I can't remember what I did 3 days ago, let alone yesterday. What changes for me is my style of speaking, walking, talking, gestures, posture. Beining co-conscience I can retain some memory from the switches. Once HillBilly came out while I was driving and I was talking in that Arkansas twain. It always feels like I'm putting on a new person. I'm thinking back, and they don't feel like my memories. The 2 second memory is playing like a gif! Lol

[TheFuZZieONE]

Originally Posted by possum220

Just wondering........ I have lived on my own for the past two decades. So not much feedback from others how I may appear. I went to my therapist on Monday and the parts/alters (as per usual) pushed themselves forward and took control. My body ached afterwards from the muscular changes. (Having said that it is Thursday night now as I type this and I can't remember. I can't even explain what too place three days ago).

I have seen recordings of two other people on the net who have DID. One person's voice totally changed from the host. Another person's voice changed very little at all.
I wondered how I appeared to others. Does it look like I am faking it? It feels real...

How do others here experience their alters/parts when they move outside your physical body to the real world? Have you ever been recorded? Did it show you anything that you didn't already know?

Hi Possum,

I think my switching is very subtle. In fact, that's why I believe my disorder went undetected for years. I think most people, to include significant others and my parents, can't tell. I had one ex boyfriend figure it out before I did. I remember him yelling, "Where's that other girl?! The one you were just yesterday!! What happened! Normal people don't change over night!!!" I was dumbfounded and confused by his accusations. I didn't remember changing. Recently, he contacted me and I told him I thought I had DID. His response? "Yeah, I figured that out already." Lol.

But most people don't notice my DID because its so subtle. I think that might be because my trauma happened when I was an older child/adolescent, so my host personality was more developed. At least this is what I theorize. I just purchased a scholarly textbook on the subject, and it states there are different types of DID. I think my case is fragmented. I think that fragments of other identities latch on to my host and can almost co/host, except that the host personality is unaware when this is happening. For me, I feel possessed. Almost compelled to do certain things and I can't remember why.

Sometimes the other personalities take over completely, but that's only when I've been drinking, meditating, or drifting off to sleep. In fact, I hardly sleep cause my alter takes over and talks all night long! When the alters take over 100%, its in a complete blackout and I have no recollection. At most I'll get little flashes of memory of things I said or did, but that's it. I'm always dumbfounded and confused by my memories. I do and say outrageous things that I wouldn't normally do.

I just went on and on so you get the idea that everyone's different. There are different variences of DID, and a lot of that is dependent on the type of trauma one suffered, the severity, and length of the trauma. I think my trauma though severe to me, isn't as severe as most others with the disorder. Have you tried setting up a video surveillance in your house? There is a smart voice recorder app you can download to your cell phone as well. You can just set it on record and check it when you remember. I've tried to record myself, but my alter is always trying to foil my plans. She does not want me to figure her out.

Anyway, hope I was able to help. At the least, you can compare my experience with yours.

[amandalouise]

possum though I did not perceive alters taking over as their moving outside my physical body. I perceived it as their taking control of my body, but yes each one of my alters had their own way of being. that included everything that makes up a persons personality....the sound of voice/moods they had and showed (this is called affect), posture/behaviors, how and when they could take over, (this is called sense of agency) how aware of their self/others and how much co consciousness they had (this is called consciousness) their own memories, perceptions of their experiences/world and self, how they learned/how much they understood/...(cognition) ...all my alters even had their own sensory motor functions (movements /activities....)

the DSM 5 words it this way.....

A. Disruption of identity characterized by two or more distinct personality states which may be described in some cultures as an experience of possession. The disruption in identity involves marked discontinuity in sense of self and sense of agency, accompanied by related alterations in affect, behavior, consciousness, memory, perception, cognition, and or sensory-motor functioning. These signs and symptoms may be observed by others or reported by the individual.

my therapist recorded every one of my sessions regardless of whether I was an alter or not. you see recording sessions was just my therapists way of keeping notes and so that if I ever could not remember a session all I needed to do was let her know and we would watch the video (which included audio) recording of that session. this came in handy many times and I was amazed at how each of my alters had their own distinctions of what made them who and what they were.

[possum220]

Thanks AlwaysChanging2.
Thinking now about it my hand does something although I do not remember details.

TheFuzzieOne. - I appreciate the detail. Yes there are changes that aren't ones that wreck my neck. Subtle changes. I understand it more now. I don't have a phone that can take pictures let alone take a video. People have thought of me as possessed and that landed me a whole other place.

I guess something wasn't sitting right in my head about my outside voices. Whatever it was has slunk away..............