[dissociative]

Need to post this as a separate thread, cause really hope to get answers. I'm very new to the whole issue of dissociation; I've been basically living with it and ignoring it for decades, but it is becoming impossible to ignore now.

This is what has been happening to me a lot recently: sometimes I'm not sure if I really do say things, or say them in my head, but I've experienced a strange reaction like waking up from a trance and people having strange expressions on their faces. That happened twice recently. I didnt like it at all. I'm rather sure I was saying things loud, I remembered what I was saying, but it did feel as if I was completely detached. I said an outrageous thing on one occasion, I must have said it, because I believe I could hear my own voice, and the person in front of me seemed slightly shocked.

I really have to wonder now if that has been happening my entire life? Nobody ever told me anything though. So maybe it's started happening now?

I'm immensely confused. And I need to solve this puzzle, cause it doesnt seem SAFE at all.

Not sure how to handle it.

Another thing: I've just understood why I'm constantly getting lost. I believed my entire life I have poor orientation skills, because I was getting lost very often, including in places I knew. But that explanation never made much sense, because, on the other hand, I could sometimes be perfectly fine in completely new environments, so it was something switching on and off. I think that's a pretty clear sign of dissociating very often.

Originally Posted by dissociative

Need to post this as a separate thread, cause really hope to get answers. I'm very new to the whole issue of dissociation; I've been basically living with it and ignoring it for decades, but it is becoming impossible to ignore now.

This is what has been happening to me a lot recently: sometimes I'm not sure if I really do say things, or say them in my head, but I've experienced a strange reaction like waking up from a trance and people having strange expressions on their faces. That happened twice recently. I didnt like it at all. I'm rather sure I was saying things loud, I remembered what I was saying, but it did feel as if I was completely detached. I said an outrageous thing on one occasion, I must have said it, because I believe I could hear my own voice, and the person in front of me seemed slightly shocked.

I really have to wonder now if that has been happening my entire life? Nobody ever told me anything though. So maybe it's started happening now?

I'm immensely confused. And I need to solve this puzzle, cause it doesnt seem SAFE at all.

Not sure how to handle it.

Another thing: I've just understood why I'm constantly getting lost. I believed my entire life I have poor orientation skills, because I was getting lost very often, including in places I knew. But that explanation never made much sense, because, on the other hand, I could sometimes be perfectly fine in completely new environments, so it was something switching on and off. I think that's a pretty clear sign of dissociating very often.

I experience this a few times which always followed with "Did I just say that?" Usually it's an other expressing an insult or a comment which leads to awkward moments. And then there are times during emotionally charged happenings that I seem to be watching myself freaking from a distance.

Come to find out, I'm and alter also, and that we all exist as equals, and that control is an illusion. The others get upset when someone tries to "control" them because our abuse was so wrapped up in control by abusive parents.

We do make joint decisions being co-conscience enough to do so by taking a vote. We also have body rules that we abide by, like let's not do anything that embarrasses us like cross dressing in public because we have a public image to uphold (business).

Try taking a notebook and see if the others will "talk" by taking notes. I've finally accepted that this is the way we are and I am not surprised about what happens.

Life is interesting for sure.

We've always been excellent in directions, we have an Alt for that! I get around the city visiting homeowners, and generally I can always find it again. I mean, I couldn't tell you how to get there myself...I can't even picture it, but the Navigator knows.

[dissociative]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

We've always been excellent in directions, we have an Alt for that! I get around the city visiting homeowners, and generally I can always find it again. I mean, I couldn't tell you how to get there myself...I can't even picture it, but the Navigator knows.

Yes I know that Navigator; when I am good in finding my way, it also happens like in a dream, I could never explain to anyone how to get anywhere, even if I was able to get there myself.

[amandalouise]

yes it is common for alters to be talking and doing things when people with DID dissociate. thats what the disorder is all about...

having two or more alternate personalities that take control and do their jobs, purposes, reasons for being created in every aspect of the DID persons life. you can read the actual diagnostics wording on this in the link at the bottom of my post. please note though this is the american version of the diagnostics. your location may go according to other standards and definitions.

my suggestion is contact your (or a) treatment provider in your off the computer location. they will be able to tell you if this is normal directly related to you, your problems and your locations standards of what DID is, alters and such.

[dissociative]

I remember one friend I fell out with around 2 years ago telling me 'now you will never again cry on my shoulder, or such. That I could not understand at all. I remember myself being very composed and cool with that person, well with everyone else really, mostly, until something freaks me out, but I don't cry at people,s shoulders, that's just not me. I had no idea what she was on about. Go figure.. And I'm also not sure why I fell out with her, there was no good reason �� feels like I don't quite control my own life.

[Fuzzybear]

[dissociative]

And another one, 3 years ago. He was telling me I did something I did not remember doing. Nothing serious, but I didn't understand the situation. I fell out with him soon after. Again, no good reason whatsoever. It was like someone else acting, and I had to apologize later. I think there is a pattern. I fell out with people because I somehow know I have those dissociative blackouts, and I don't trust those people enough? Does that make sense?

[knit roses]

It's been happening to me since I was a little girl. I thought that a parallel-universe-me had a time slip. I would see and hear myself saying things that would never come out of my mouth. Things would disappear. New things showed up. I accepted it as normal. My therapist helped me understand dissociation. have one toddler who talks to me. The 8 yo and the teenager haven't yet. Everybody has a name.