[Catholicnun]

I am not diagnosed with dissociative disorders
I never talk about things to my therapist or mental health professionals tbh I just don't really bother bc I can't explain verbally
There is so much I have to say way more than this tbh but i will just start with what I can let out for now anyway--
There were several times I can recall feeling like time and day move by so fast yet so slowly (bc little time as passed in reality) and people feel like that but this is too many times. And I didn’t feel like this when I was little so I see a difference!!! 
And like when this feeling happens- i feel like the world around me feels so unreal. I am sober btw. It’s like I see the world as im on drugs but I’m sober and it’s not that intense maybe idk i belittle myself a lot but.. I’ll give examples
My school had a badminton tournament one day (im surrounded by lots of people and loud noises and interaction) 
-I thought I would have a panic attack bc I have anxiety and I just involuntarily freak out and panic cry my heart races almost all be time especially in social events BUT I DIDNT
-so I’m like whatever cuz I’m fine
-but like as the day went by and I was surrounded by people and sitting with them and stuff . I was fine? Which is strange to me 
-I could talk to people fine and I’m aware about what’s going on around me im still kinda awkward but I can chit chat and just be there and be fine???? Again still aware about my feelings thoughts and surroundings 
-I felt like it was the longest day even tho it was still morning?????????????
-when my friend has to leave to do somethjng I was ok and i sat alone in front of everyone watching the tournament and I didn’t feel nervous maybe slightly anxious but 
I didn’t care 
Like I didn’t care at all ????? 
I felt so weird looking at everyone 
Everyone was just doing their thing 
And they just felt so.. Soulless
Kinda like robots
They’re not obviously
But everyone around me just felt so meaningless and so did I i felt meaningless . 
When my peppy cheerful friends came and sat with me they were fu of joy and my emotionless face easily put on a smile . It’s so weird I felt like I had to pretend to be a person. I’m a person but j felt like I had no emotion . I didn’t care . And it felt like a dream a foggy dream. It didn’t feel real. Like there’s a difference from going to school and doing thjngs socializing etc and then going to school and just feeling like it’s so bright and you’re in a fantasy world even tho everything is literally the same and u just are okay u seem okay and fine and u don’t care and u just feel like unreal it doesn’t feel real but u know its real but u just feel like things don’t exist and it’s all nothing 
everything is nothing 
And as the day ended I became moody and paranoid and had delusions that slightly was impairing and oh god it was intense delusions over NOTHING 
My self esteem was good I was so assertive as the day ended and did what I wanted to do I even complained to this cashier I went from feeling weird floating light carefree apathetic to moody delusional angry but I still felt kinda weird like I described earlier
ANOTHER EXAMPLE I remember:
last day of school:
Moody sensitive in the morning 
I forgot what happened in school but I skipped classes and I just did whatever and was bored
Ok but when school ended I hungojt with a big group of people at the park
And again I thought I would be nervous and have a panic attack
But instead I felt fine!!! We were there 1-2? Hours but it seemed like an eternity 
Everything was bright 
I am aware of what I’m doing I was slightly nervous 
I was actually pretty aloof 
Like everyone was doing athletic activies and eating and socializing and I just sat out and watched them and watched the park and trees and nature around me I felt weird 
I laid in the grass and just watched and talked to friends about astrology stuff they ask about but I felt so weird?!!!!!!!
It felt like that day lasted forever
It was bright and sunny and it felt hazy It felt foggy . I felt fine. I felt calm and fine and happy. I wanted to feel like this forever and wanted that simple day to keep repeating . I did have some delusions I don’t wanna talk about 
When I was in the pool the water felt so good and weird and surreal but I still acted like myself like
Nobody would’ve known im seeing the world in this weird *** filter 
Also I’m not on drugs and I’m sober too 
But I just felt fine and apathetic and comfortable and
It’s like a warm sheet of comfort hugged me all day 
But time went buy so slow and so quick
Everything felt weird 
It didn’t seem right even though I was ok and fine
Then from that day to now I felt so horrible and I felt so tired
All my energy is gone and I don’t want to socialize (I barely socialized then but I enjoyed being around people) and I am so tired and I am hating myself so much and I keep crying and I’m so emotional and I just want to stop being emotional like I was on those days
I said a lot but there’s more feelings I felt those days idk how to explained
I felt really detached yet still here????
It’s weird
I think I like that feeling I want to feel like that more because I feel fine and content and okay… But then I am stressed the **** out because when I’m not like that im worried about how I felt and like how it seemed like time just felt frozen while going it’s scary?????????? How I just lose time and stuff. It’s like what happen????? Was that even real?!!?
U know??? Sorry I sound crazy idk I just don’t get myself here and I’m very self aware but I don’t get this really

Hey Catholicnun - I can't answer your questions --- Jeez, I don't even understand whats going on in my head! But everything you described - it was so familiar. I get the same thing - quite regularly. All I can suggest is that you print your post off and show it to your T - you really do describe it very well - Im sure it will help them understand you.

Hi Catholicnun, welcome to PC.

I can understand your confusion. We can't even begin to diagnose you because we aren't professional people, just affected like you.

The causes can be anything between physical and mental reasons, so being open and honest with your medical and mental care providers is a really good place to start.

It reminds me though about the times when I fall into a dissociative trance, where my mind dissociates to escape confrontation, a triggered coping mechanism. It's all foggy looking and I feel weirdly calm. But I'm usually like a zombie at that point and not able to function well, stuttering as I go, but that's my damaged and abused self at that time coming through when I was a wee teenager.

Like just a girl said, copy this post for your T. Another handy idea is to keep a journal to keep track of your experiences that you can show your T.

I hope you get things worked out and get well.

[amandalouise]

Im sorry Catholicnun we are not allowed to tell each other what is going on inside the person we are replying to, all we can do is tell you whether we have gone through the same things and what our own treatment providers called it in our selves. with in ...me....my treatment providers called these things many different things depending upon other accompanying symptoms..depression, anxiety, sleep deprivation, psychosis and many others too. my suggestion is if you really want to know what is going on with in you, contact your, or a treatment provider, they can make the appropriate diagnostic tests that can tell you what your diagnosis's are and how to best treat your problems.

[finding_my_way]

like you said, some of that is normal for everyone. there are a lot of factors that can cause a person to experience time going by slow, fast, or feel like it's not real, people around them aren't real, etc. there are also times where high stress or boredom even or depression can cause similar types of experiences.

even if a person isn't sleeping enough or isn't eating enough or is dehydrated, etc., those are also factors that can cause certain experiences in a person.

i have had anxiety issues as well as panic attacks and episodes of agoraphobia throughout my life. as i have gotten older, a lot of that has lessened for me. but even when i did have them, not every situation evoked the same reactions for me, and that doesn't necessarily mean there is anything 'off' about it even if you are used to being anxious all the time. there will be times for whatever reason that what you thought you'd feel, you didn't...when i have those times where i am more at ease than i thought, i try not to focus on the thoughts of 'what was different this time' and focus more on just enjoying myself because once i over analyze something, it can kind of ruin a positive experience for me.

there are also ways people in general are different people at work versus with friends versus being at home alone, so being one way in one place and another in another place is pretty normal too.

best thing you can do if these things are bothering you and impacting how you live your life would be to bring it up to your therapist so they have an idea of what is going on and come help with suggestions.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by Catholicnun

I am not diagnosed with dissociative disorders
I never talk about things to my therapist or mental health professionals tbh I just don't really bother bc I can't explain verbally
There is so much I have to say way more than this tbh but i will just start with what I can let out for now anyway--
There were several times I can recall feeling like time and day move by so fast yet so slowly (bc little time as passed in reality) and people feel like that but this is too many times. And I didn’t feel like this when I was little so I see a difference!!! 
And like when this feeling happens- i feel like the world around me feels so unreal. I am sober btw. It’s like I see the world as im on drugs but I’m sober and it’s not that intense maybe idk i belittle myself a lot but.. I’ll give examples
My school had a badminton tournament one day (im surrounded by lots of people and loud noises and interaction) 
-I thought I would have a panic attack bc I have anxiety and I just involuntarily freak out and panic cry my heart races almost all be time especially in social events BUT I DIDNT
-so I’m like whatever cuz I’m fine
-but like as the day went by and I was surrounded by people and sitting with them and stuff . I was fine? Which is strange to me 
-I could talk to people fine and I’m aware about what’s going on around me im still kinda awkward but I can chit chat and just be there and be fine???? Again still aware about my feelings thoughts and surroundings 
-I felt like it was the longest day even tho it was still morning?????????????
-when my friend has to leave to do somethjng I was ok and i sat alone in front of everyone watching the tournament and I didn’t feel nervous maybe slightly anxious but 
I didn’t care 
Like I didn’t care at all ????? 
I felt so weird looking at everyone 
Everyone was just doing their thing 
And they just felt so.. Soulless
Kinda like robots
They’re not obviously
But everyone around me just felt so meaningless and so did I i felt meaningless . 
When my peppy cheerful friends came and sat with me they were fu of joy and my emotionless face easily put on a smile . It’s so weird I felt like I had to pretend to be a person. I’m a person but j felt like I had no emotion . I didn’t care . And it felt like a dream a foggy dream. It didn’t feel real. Like there’s a difference from going to school and doing thjngs socializing etc and then going to school and just feeling like it’s so bright and you’re in a fantasy world even tho everything is literally the same and u just are okay u seem okay and fine and u don’t care and u just feel like unreal it doesn’t feel real but u know its real but u just feel like things don’t exist and it’s all nothing 
everything is nothing 
And as the day ended I became moody and paranoid and had delusions that slightly was impairing and oh god it was intense delusions over NOTHING 
My self esteem was good I was so assertive as the day ended and did what I wanted to do I even complained to this cashier I went from feeling weird floating light carefree apathetic to moody delusional angry but I still felt kinda weird like I described earlier
ANOTHER EXAMPLE I remember:
last day of school:
Moody sensitive in the morning 
I forgot what happened in school but I skipped classes and I just did whatever and was bored
Ok but when school ended I hungojt with a big group of people at the park
And again I thought I would be nervous and have a panic attack
But instead I felt fine!!! We were there 1-2? Hours but it seemed like an eternity 
Everything was bright 
I am aware of what I’m doing I was slightly nervous 
I was actually pretty aloof 
Like everyone was doing athletic activies and eating and socializing and I just sat out and watched them and watched the park and trees and nature around me I felt weird 
I laid in the grass and just watched and talked to friends about astrology stuff they ask about but I felt so weird?!!!!!!!
It felt like that day lasted forever
It was bright and sunny and it felt hazy It felt foggy . I felt fine. I felt calm and fine and happy. I wanted to feel like this forever and wanted that simple day to keep repeating . I did have some delusions I don’t wanna talk about 
When I was in the pool the water felt so good and weird and surreal but I still acted like myself like
Nobody would’ve known im seeing the world in this weird *** filter 
Also I’m not on drugs and I’m sober too 
But I just felt fine and apathetic and comfortable and
It’s like a warm sheet of comfort hugged me all day 
But time went buy so slow and so quick
Everything felt weird 
It didn’t seem right even though I was ok and fine
Then from that day to now I felt so horrible and I felt so tired
All my energy is gone and I don’t want to socialize (I barely socialized then but I enjoyed being around people) and I am so tired and I am hating myself so much and I keep crying and I’m so emotional and I just want to stop being emotional like I was on those days
I said a lot but there’s more feelings I felt those days idk how to explained
I felt really detached yet still here????
It’s weird
I think I like that feeling I want to feel like that more because I feel fine and content and okay… But then I am stressed the **** out because when I’m not like that im worried about how I felt and like how it seemed like time just felt frozen while going it’s scary?????????? How I just lose time and stuff. It’s like what happen????? Was that even real?!!?
U know??? Sorry I sound crazy idk I just don’t get myself here and I’m very self aware but I don’t get this really

Maybe you can copy your post and let your therapist read it. Maybe you can email it or mail it or drop it off before you see your t again. This will give your t time to read it. Than you two can discuss it if you feel like it.