[coldwut]

I ended up telling my counselor about the others and she said it could be from being abused. It's just that sometimes I have a hard time believing that I was abused, and that I'm not just over sensitive because it seems like my other family members don't have the same problems I do.

I'm also suppose to get a psychiatrist just in case I need to get more medication but I'm afraid I might not be able to afford one right now.

[I'm Worth It]

Originally Posted by coldwut

I ended up telling my counselor about the others and she said it could be from being abused. It's just that sometimes I have a hard time believing that I was abused, and that I'm not just over sensitive because it seems like my other family members don't have the same problems I do.

I'm also suppose to get a psychiatrist just in case I need to get more medication but I'm afraid I might not be able to afford one right now.

If there are "others" you most certainly have been abused as a child. "Others" are not created in adulthood. If there are "others", you will need to explore your childhood in great detail and be supported by a knowledgeable, experienced counselor.

How old are you? Have you had trouble with "missing time" and flashbacks, pictures in your head of experiences that are shocking to you but don't remember being involved? If so, you need to get the help. As you get older, you may find yourself having more and more difficulty and if there has been abuse, you may find yourself being flooded with flashbacks -- mentally and emotionally. You will need grounding techniques and skills. It would be well worth checking into all this.

All that being said, if you are having flashbacks, etc., this is not necessarily a bad thing. It is your mind telling you that it is ready to deal with the past that you were unable to face as a child. Children employ coping mechanisms as tools for survival. The mind of a child would be overwhelmed by some experiences and so will block them out so that they can get through the day/life. As you get into adulthood and are "maturing" emotionally, the mind lets glimpses of these things come to the surface so that they can be processed a little at a time.

Seek the counseling and find a way to afford it. There are counselors/psychiatrists who work on a sliding fee scale to make it more affordable.

[marmaduke]

You are not over sensitive. Your counselor is right. I don't know much about 'others' but as l understand it the cause is early abuse. The others are a safety valve, somewhere else to go.

[amandalouise]

coldwut....here in the USA everyone is supposed to be getting basic health insurance that includes basic mental physical and dental health care coverage. its now the law for the USA. theres many opportunities to get signed up with health care.

most work places have insurance plans for their employees.
there is also many private insurance companies depending upon ones location.
there is also medicaid and medicare for those who can not afford private health care insurance.

my suggestion would be to go to your social services agency (where people sign up for things like welfare, food stamps and medicaid) and do the paperwork for getting medicaid. once you have medicaid you will receive information on what treatment providers in your location are covered by your locations medicaid insurance plan.

from there either you choose one of the treatment providers on the medicaid plan and that treatment provider bills medicaid for any medications, therapy and other medical mental health services you need. or your medicaid program will assign you a treatment provider who will provide you with mental health services and bill medicaid. some medicaid programs have you pay a co pay depending upon your income.

[finding_my_way]

i have had others since as long as i can remember. i just did not know that was what they were until i got older and started reading things online and talking with others (though some were quite 'out there' with things for which i questioned my own experience since it wasn't quite like that).

my others have always been hidden from the external world (don't completely take over or have a different life from me, etc.) and sometimes even from me even if when i've been blended with them at times.

it was difficult for me telling someone about them because it is scary, confusing, embarrassing, etc. and i still think they are not real or deny it when it doesn't actively happen for me like it used to where i do not hear them or feel them as much. but when it does happen, it's a wake up call again..and it freaks me out.

i just have a psychiatrist as i cannot afford an actual therapist. i also cannot see her often because it will cause me to dissociate more..i don't know if some parts trust her or what but have noticed subtle blending/changes when i have gone there the last two times this year. i don't notice it as much in every day life anymore as i am much more 'me' now than them...but still, it is strange for me.

i hope you are able to get the understanding you need to talk about this with your therapist.

i also grew up with family who went through some things i did or who seemed to be more resilient/stronger personality wise, etc. but do not have the same struggles..they have all had their own though, so they did not escape completely unscathed.

Originally Posted by coldwut

I ended up telling my counselor about the others and she said it could be from being abused. It's just that sometimes I have a hard time believing that I was abused, and that I'm not just over sensitive because it seems like my other family members don't have the same problems I do.

I'm also suppose to get a psychiatrist just in case I need to get more medication but I'm afraid I might not be able to afford one right now.

It sounds that you are quite young? Are you covered on your parents insurance? Or have one through work?

I see that you are in the U.S. and that if you went to The Marketplace and get some Obamacare when they open enrollment.

If you don't have insurance, you can go to a sliding scale clinic. I was poor enough to qualify for free care. Good luck!

[coldwut]

Originally Posted by I'm Worth It

If there are "others" you most certainly have been abused as a child. "Others" are not created in adulthood. If there are "others", you will need to explore your childhood in great detail and be supported by a knowledgeable, experienced counselor.

How old are you? Have you had trouble with "missing time" and flashbacks, pictures in your head of experiences that are shocking to you but don't remember being involved? If so, you need to get the help. As you get older, you may find yourself having more and more difficulty and if there has been abuse, you may find yourself being flooded with flashbacks -- mentally and emotionally. You will need grounding techniques and skills. It would be well worth checking into all this.

All that being said, if you are having flashbacks, etc., this is not necessarily a bad thing. It is your mind telling you that it is ready to deal with the past that you were unable to face as a child. Children employ coping mechanisms as tools for survival. The mind of a child would be overwhelmed by some experiences and so will block them out so that they can get through the day/life. As you get into adulthood and are "maturing" emotionally, the mind lets glimpses of these things come to the surface so that they can be processed a little at a time.

Seek the counseling and find a way to afford it. There are counselors/psychiatrists who work on a sliding fee scale to make it more affordable.

I remember the abuse, but I am so disconnected from it. It was mostly emotional abuse, and there was a period where I was sexuality from when I was about 5-7. Which, now that I think about it, is pretty young.

I think I've been having emotional flashbacks where something would remind me of my past and I would panic or feel bad. Unfortunately it sometimes happened during work, but I quit so I won't have to worry about that.

I don't lose time, at least I think I don't. I am generally aware of the others, and I have the most control. I've been sort of aware of them but I've tried to ignore it because I'm worried I might be faking it.

I have some money but I'm going back to school and I was not to get what I need for school first before I get another psychiatrist. Hopefully by next month.

[coldwut]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

It sounds that you are quite young? Are you covered on your parents insurance? Or have one through work?

I see that you are in the U.S. and that if you went to The Marketplace and get some Obamacare when they open enrollment.

If you don't have insurance, you can go to a sliding scale clinic. I was poor enough to qualify for free care. Good luck!

I have insurance through my school. The thing I'm worried about is the deductible, and I don't feel like repaying it because my insurance restarted, so I have to pay $100 again. I just paid that off, and I rather just wait until I know I'll have money to pay for some of my text books and other fees. I also rather spend that money on a psychiatrist because I need one to write my prescriptions because I'm out of refills. Hopefully I get to see one next month.

I'm going to call some today. Some who are near my school.

How young is quite young?

[I'm Worth It]

Originally Posted by coldwut

I remember the abuse, but I am so disconnected from it. It was mostly emotional abuse, and there was a period where I was sexuality from when I was about 5-7. Which, now that I think about it, is pretty young.

I think I've been having emotional flashbacks where something would remind me of my past and I would panic or feel bad. Unfortunately it sometimes happened during work, but I quit so I won't have to worry about that.

I don't lose time, at least I think I don't. I am generally aware of the others, and I have the most control. I've been sort of aware of them but I've tried to ignore it because I'm worried I might be faking it.

I have some money but I'm going back to school and I was not to get what I need for school first before I get another psychiatrist. Hopefully by next month.

Yes, some people do remember the abuse empirically and, you're right, the flashbacks are emotional. I'm worried I might be faking it. -- It's not that you would be faking it, it is how it feels to you. You may not necessarily be experiencing or have "alters", you may simply be compartmentalizing and consciously/mentally blocking certain experiences and they are locked into child states. When you are triggered, you may sometimes feel small like a child and feeling how you felt at the time, but it's still you -- your core self. In order to receive a DID diagnosis, a patient will have had to experience abuse so significant and so overwhelming that the mind completely blocked all those experiences out of the consciousness of the core self by "transferring" those emotions and feelings to an alter who has been assigned to deal with and keep that away from the "self". So, I venture to say, that you are not DID but perhaps C-PTSD or PTSD with dissociative features. The fact that you can ignore it also says that you are suppressing emotions and thoughts on an active level rather than those experiences being repressed. Suppression is more of a voluntary avoidant response. Repression happens naturally in the mind and not voluntarily. All I'm saying is you may find that you are dealing with something that is not as daunting, yet still difficult, as you may think

You would be wise to seek help any way you can. This kind of thing does become debilitating. Unfortunately it sometimes happened during work, but I quit so I won't have to worry about that. You do need to worry about that. Anything that interferes with your life to this extent, needs to be addressed.

The fact that you are reaching out here tells me that you are ready to face all this and are in a "good" emotional place in order to deal with it. Make it happen.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by coldwut

I have insurance through my school. The thing I'm worried about is the deductible, and I don't feel like repaying it because my insurance restarted, so I have to pay $100 again. I just paid that off, and I rather just wait until I know I'll have money to pay for some of my text books and other fees. I also rather spend that money on a psychiatrist because I need one to write my prescriptions because I'm out of refills. Hopefully I get to see one next month.

I'm going to call some today. Some who are near my school.

How young is quite young?

try going to your social services office and applying for medicaid. if you meet the income brackets you'r co pay with medicaid may be as little as a dollar if at all. Some people in school qualify for medicaid with out a co pay.

[coldwut]

Originally Posted by I'm Worth It

Yes, some people do remember the abuse empirically and, you're right, the flashbacks are emotional. I'm worried I might be faking it. -- It's not that you would be faking it, it is how it feels to you. You may not necessarily be experiencing or have "alters", you may simply be compartmentalizing and consciously/mentally blocking certain experiences and they are locked into child states. When you are triggered, you may sometimes feel small like a child and feeling how you felt at the time, but it's still you -- your core self. In order to receive a DID diagnosis, a patient will have had to experience abuse so significant and so overwhelming that the mind completely blocked all those experiences out of the consciousness of the core self by "transferring" those emotions and feelings to an alter who has been assigned to deal with and keep that away from the "self". So, I venture to say, that you are not DID but perhaps C-PTSD or PTSD with dissociative features. The fact that you can ignore it also says that you are suppressing emotions and thoughts on an active level rather than those experiences being repressed. Suppression is more of a voluntary avoidant response. Repression happens naturally in the mind and not voluntarily. All I'm saying is you may find that you are dealing with something that is not as daunting, yet still difficult, as you may think

You would be wise to seek help any way you can. This kind of thing does become debilitating. Unfortunately it sometimes happened during work, but I quit so I won't have to worry about that. You do need to worry about that. Anything that interferes with your life to this extent, needs to be addressed.

The fact that you are reaching out here tells me that you are ready to face all this and are in a "good" emotional place in order to deal with it. Make it happen.

Yeah. I know for a fact that I don't have DID because I am aware of the others and I don't lose time.

I only have one child, a teenager, and an old man who's a hermit and a wizard.

The child gets exited easily and tries to make people happy and he loves flowers and pretty things, so he mostly stays in a field of flowers.

The teenager likes to cause trouble and he's usually angry. He wants to steal things or break things or cuss people out.

The old hermit likes to be left alone but he also tries to get me to take care of myself. He came out once because the teen was being too angry and the body needed some sleep.

Then there is a nonhuman entity that doesn't speak. It's more of a dissociative state but for some reason it takes the forum of some entity in my mind.

I should have answered that I'm about 20 years old. Also CPTSD seems about right.

Originally Posted by coldwut

I have insurance through my school. The thing I'm worried about is the deductible, and I don't feel like repaying it because my insurance restarted, so I have to pay $100 again. I just paid that off, and I rather just wait until I know I'll have money to pay for some of my text books and other fees. I also rather spend that money on a psychiatrist because I need one to write my prescriptions because I'm out of refills. Hopefully I get to see one next month.

I'm going to call some today. Some who are near my school.

How young is quite young?

Anyone younger than 25 seems quite young! I'm 47.

[coldwut]

I just set up an appointment with a psychiatrist but it won't happen until late September.

Until then, I will be talking to my school counselor about my problems.

I should have enough money by then.

Originally Posted by coldwut

I just set up an appointment with a psychiatrist but it won't happen until late September.

Until then, I will be talking to my school counselor about my problems.

I should have enough money by then.

Nice. The only place that I get to spout off is on here. My partner thinks we are crazy, and we are secluded.

But, we also have an inner counselor it seems! Lol