Describe how your others effectively assume control when you switch. What's it like?

Being everyone's different, and this isn't any competition, just curious how your system works.

First off, we here are co-conscience and always aware, which means the visuals never turn off. But, switching is like physically reactive depending on the clash of personality, or be it seamless on the fly.

When one takes over, triggered or not, it's like the previous up and everything associated with him/her (memory) fades away, but leaving whoever is next like clued in and then can run with it, but anything like 5 minutes ago is so like gone.

It's like we work on a schedule. A does home life. B goes to work. C does the partner. D does the buddy stuff. E does horticulture. F goes shopping. G cooks. D does child raising. H sits her butt on the couch and blogs. H deals with professionals....etc.

Even the doers of the experience forget what they were doing do to the inconsistency of real time.

Our biggest motto is "Fake it to you make it...or not, but don't quit trying".

What a crazy way to live, but I'm special that way!

[finding_my_way]

i have more a type of blending..not really a complete take over. but i am not sure what is co conscious either since i stopped hearing their voices years ago. now, i don't really even feel them or their thoughts, etc. except for sometimes...but i do know they are still there and just maybe sit back until.....i don't know what...until...they just appear?

i'm not sure they have actual jobs since it's never really been like that for me either which makes it more confusing. all i do know is it took up until about maybe seven years ago for ME to be more present instead of a mix of them and me.

when they do come more to the surface, we get so intertwined that neither know who the other is at times...or with certain ones, i can have a conversation or see or hear them (inside) somewhat....but at the same time not....

i quit trying to make sense of any of it really...cuz it just doesn't...never has and never will.

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

i have more a type of blending..not really a complete take over. but i am not sure what is co conscious either since i stopped hearing their voices years ago. now, i don't really even feel them or their thoughts, etc. except for sometimes...but i do know they are still there and just maybe sit back until.....i don't know what...until...they just appear?

i'm not sure they have actual jobs since it's never really been like that for me either which makes it more confusing. all i do know is it took up until about maybe seven years ago for ME to be more present instead of a mix of them and me.

when they do come more to the surface, we get so intertwined that neither know who the other is at times...or with certain ones, i can have a conversation or see or hear them (inside) somewhat....but at the same time not....

i quit trying to make sense of any of it really...cuz it just doesn't...never has and never will.

Thank you for saying, that means a lot. That has to be hard to be a mix and not know....I get it. It's a big question, who am I???

[Gr3tta]

One of two things happens for me. I float up towards the ceiling feeling (literally) warm and fuzzy, while the other floats up from down below to take over.
The second way i am shoved suddenly backwards, often behind a one way mirror. I can see what i as the other is doing, but i cant do anything about it.

[amandalouise]

how did my alters take over...well I would get triggered by something, then dissociate...

lets use something non triggering to show you what I mean...I would be with my wife walking and talking with her, and she would say the word wind (not an actual trigger of mine just an example) her saying that word would make me feel numb spaced out/foggy minded (dissociation symptoms).

The next thing I knew it would be me looking up to find my wife and I are no longer out walking, I'm now sitting in a restaurant eating with my wife. An alter was in control from the moment of the trigger until the trigger (the word wind) was no longer an issue/taken care of (the conversation was no longer on the topic of wind because the alter saw a restaurant and we went inside to eat)

short version dissociation is a reaction to a trigger which means my switching into alters is a result of dissociating due to being triggered.

what did it feel like to me... it felt like dissociating (feeling numb, spaced out/foggy, like I was far away(disconnected) from the trigger, everything and everyone. I wasnt afraid or anything because this had been happening since very early childhood so it was just normal for this to happen and in some respects it was a welcome relief to feel numb rather than feeling anything.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

i have more a type of blending..not really a complete take over. but i am not sure what is co conscious either since i stopped hearing their voices years ago. now, i don't really even feel them or their thoughts, etc. except for sometimes...but i do know they are still there and just maybe sit back until.....i don't know what...until...they just appear?

i'm not sure they have actual jobs since it's never really been like that for me either which makes it more confusing. all i do know is it took up until about maybe seven years ago for ME to be more present instead of a mix of them and me.

when they do come more to the surface, we get so intertwined that neither know who the other is at times...or with certain ones, i can have a conversation or see or hear them (inside) somewhat....but at the same time not....

i quit trying to make sense of any of it really...cuz it just doesn't...never has and never will.

something jumped out at me in your post...you said you didnt know if your alters have actual jobs... here a job is just a word that designates why they have come to the surface, why they have control, what do they do to help the person they reside with in and what do they do to help the others in the system.Those kinds of things.

here in my location all alters have jobs, the way to find what their job is, is pay attention to what triggers their being the one in control for that moment... when you start feeling that moment of them coming to the surface maybe you can ask/think to them why they suddenly came to the surface to intertwine with you. (thats called asking inside) since you are co conscious with them it may be easy to get the answers of what they do for you/to help you (in other words what their jobs are.)

this might help you to make more sense of it all

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

something jumped out at me in your post...you said you didnt know if your alters have actual jobs... here a job is just a word that designates why they have come to the surface, why they have control, what do they do to help the person they reside with in and what do they do to help the others in the system.Those kinds of things.

here in my location all alters have jobs, the way to find what their job is, is pay attention to what triggers their being the one in control for that moment... when you start feeling that moment of them coming to the surface maybe you can ask/think to them why they suddenly came to the surface to intertwine with you. (thats called asking inside) since you are co conscious with them it may be easy to get the answers of what they do for you/to help you (in other words what their jobs are.)

this might help you to make more sense of it all

thanks. that does make sense. i suppose being triggered IS why they come around at times (not always though). sometimes, there are no triggers either though which also is confusing to figure out why. so, i just go with it.

Lately, I've noticed that a few of them ask "do you want me to take over?".

If it's a willful one, and I say "No, I'm ok", we're switching (no pun intended) between the body tensing up, as though preparing for the other to take control, and me being weak, and shaky.

When we both agree, or if it's someone that doesn't bother asking, take over is pretty easy. It happens on a deep breath, either an inhale or an exhale, and the body changes it's posture on that deep breath, depending on who's coming through. That's all I remember about my body.

The part that follows is like looking through a glass window. I can see what he/she is doing, but have no control over my body. I can hear what they're saying, but can't curb our words.

I don't know if it's just me, but when someone else is in control, it's like I can hear their thoughts. The voice behind their thoughts is different, but it's not just that. Their thoughts are so... Clear, so single-minded. It's like they know exactly what to do, how to do it and when.

My thoughts are always jumbled, going back and forth. But, my alter's thoughts have purpose and direction. It's weird we share the same body.

Getting back from a switch is the worst part. It leaves me shaky for a day or so to come, and foggy headed.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Yezeena88

Lately, I've noticed that a few of them ask "do you want me to take over?".

If it's a willful one, and I say "No, I'm ok", we're switching (no pun intended) between the body tensing up, as though preparing for the other to take control, and me being weak, and shaky.

When we both agree, or if it's someone that doesn't bother asking, take over is pretty easy. It happens on a deep breath, either an inhale or an exhale, and the body changes it's posture on that deep breath, depending on who's coming through. That's all I remember about my body.

The part that follows is like looking through a glass window. I can see what he/she is doing, but have no control over my body. I can hear what they're saying, but can't curb our words.

I don't know if it's just me, but when someone else is in control, it's like I can hear their thoughts. The voice behind their thoughts is different, but it's not just that. Their thoughts are so... Clear, so single-minded. It's like they know exactly what to do, how to do it and when.

My thoughts are always jumbled, going back and forth. But, my alter's thoughts have purpose and direction. It's weird we share the same body.

Getting back from a switch is the worst part. It leaves me shaky for a day or so to come, and foggy headed.

question... do you have other diagnosis's or on any medications?

in my location, usually when someone is left shaky for a day its a physical symptom (not enough sleep, missed meals, health problems ) or medication problem (medication side effect, medication dosage too high or too low, medication the wrong one)

example when I was DID and switching caused me to be shaky all day I told my treatment providers. they adjusted my bipolar meds and it no longer happened. they knew right away that it was my meds because dissociative problems are not typically supposed to cause feeling shaky all day. maybe a few minutes while getting my bearings of who and where I am again but not all day. especially since my being DID was since very early childhood so that would not be something that would bother me suddenly as an adult.

my physical symptoms of feeling weak, shaky, hungry, tired, were because of physical problems like not eating sleeping, getting enough to drink, any number of physical problems.

feeling weak and shaky was also one of my MS (multiple Sclerosis )symptoms which again is a physical health problem not part of my dissociative problems..

my point you might want to let your treatment providers know you are having these physical symptoms so that they can check out some serious health problems that can have these symptoms of being shaky and weak after switching back from being an alter.

[IB splitting]

For me my splitting is more of natural reaction to an action. I don't really think about it I split to shower, split to leave the house, split to work anything that I can't do or handle I split automatic. Not to sure if that's good or not but its all I know. Triggers can be very difficult, especially when we're driving..

The only thing that I can figure about switching for different aspects of life is we all lived in fear and terror, we were beat into submission for so long that we lived as an empty shell well into the 20's. Anytime we tried a new activity like sports, band, color guard, we were criticized, put down, and made to feel worthless by parents. 18 years of this.

When trying something new, I'd dissociate out of fear of trying, being criticized, and failing, then another would step up and take on the new activity, coping skill, situation,....We all learned a different skill set. Even today, if something unfamiliar takes place that is scary to me or an other, another would have to emerge to handle it. Happy to be alive was beat out of us.

We really didn't pull it together till we were in our mid 30's. We came across as not having any real personality because we started so late in life learning and living. We were stunted. As a new alter emerged to learn a new skill, each came across as naive and emotionally stunted that we were open to ridicule both publicly and privately which even caused more dissociation to escape the hazing.

This is the why we are so fragmented. Even thinking about it today makes me sad. Sad for us to have endured such a messed up childhood...and now adulthood.

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

The only thing that I can figure about switching for different aspects of life is we all lived in fear and terror, we were beat into submission for so long that we lived as an empty shell well into the 20's. Anytime we tried a new activity like sports, band, color guard, we were criticized, put down, and made to feel worthless by parents. 18 years of this.

When trying something new, I'd dissociate out of fear of trying, being criticized, and failing, then another would step up and take on the new activity, coping skill, situation,....We all learned a different skill set. Even today, if something unfamiliar takes place that is scary to me or an other, another would have to emerge to handle it. Happy to be alive was beat out of us.

We really didn't pull it together till we were in our mid 30's. We came across as not having any real personality because we started so late in life learning and living. We were stunted. As a new alter emerged to learn a new skill, each came across as naive and emotionally stunted that we were open to ridicule both publicly and privately which even caused more dissociation to escape the hazing.

This is the why we are so fragmented. Even thinking about it today makes me sad. Sad for us to have endured such a messed up childhood...and now adulthood.

what you said resonates with me. as much as i feel like i spent most my life dissociated, i always did exist somewhere among them all to some degree, even a tiny one...but a lot of the years were spent like yours where it seemed to be more of...nothing...no one....except at the same time, it was a lot of internal 'living' with the external and internal worlds colliding quite often and overlapping symptoms of other things.

also like you, well, for me, it was in my mid 20s, i started becoming more 'me' and less whoever, whenever.

i also understand the fear of trying and being criticized or not being good at something...that has followed me my entire life as well which feeds into other things i struggle with in regard to anxiety and not being able to do certain things a lot of the time unless things are calm enough to be able to without as much emotional/internal harm if something is triggered.

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

what you said resonates with me. as much as i feel like i spent most my life dissociated, i always did exist somewhere among them all to some degree, even a tiny one...but a lot of the years were spent like yours where it seemed to be more of...nothing...no one....except at the same time, it was a lot of internal 'living' with the external and internal worlds colliding quite often and overlapping symptoms of other things.

also like you, well, for me, it was in my mid 20s, i started becoming more 'me' and less whoever, whenever.

i also understand the fear of trying and being criticized or not being good at something...that has followed me my entire life as well which feeds into other things i struggle with in regard to anxiety and not being able to do certain things a lot of the time unless things are calm enough to be able to without as much emotional/internal harm if something is triggered.

I'm so sorry that you had to endure what we did. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Thank you....for coming forward in unison with me.

Hopefully others know that it isn't the end through us being here- vocal, trying, living, and breathing.

[dissociative]

Nice thread. I have been aware of some of my dissociations for only very short time now, but here is what I have noticed so far: 1.a trigger is something too painful to remain present, so I'm escaping pain 2. I have had a few complete take-overs; I only know because I remember waking up from them. Or rather, I could observe myself like from the side. It's hard to des done. 3. I had potentially take-overs with a complete amnesia. J suspect this because of people telling me about things I did/said, which I'm not aware of. 4. I do feel kinda dreamy and detached way too often. I also know the feeling that things are not real.

And I have been thinking tonight that I've lost many years of my life on i really don't know what; actually it feels like a broken life, got myself quite depressed with that. And I'm also quite angry with people around me; you shouldn't be allowed to seat in a cave and waste your life, if you live in anything resembling a society, not a s**thole. Hope that makes sense.