dealing with anger

i have not felt actual anger much in my lifetime, frustration to a degree, but not actual anger for good reason.

to me, anger is scary, a feeling i haven't figured out how to feel without accompanying rage to a degree. in the past, when it was felt, it automatically would cause me to dissociate and act out rather than in. i have always been the type to hurt myself, no one/nothing else. and with this type of anger/rage, it absolutely terrifies me because it causes my head to feel dizzy, spin, and just feel scared at not knowing how to effectively handle it.

it sometimes doesn't take much (the rare times it does come up)...like being a perfectionist and something not working out that is really not even a big deal can trigger it (like recent days).

i don't know how much of it is a dissociative reaction or what else it 'could' be....but it is such a scary feeling for me. how do you deal with anger? is there any way to make things calm down faster and regain control?

I dont know about your location (canada) but here where I am located this would be called intermittent explosive disorder.. short version its when anger escalates\builds until that person explodes\acts out. it can cause the same symptoms as anxiety, high blood pressure, vertigo, (anxious, nervous scared, hyper vigilant, dizzy, faintness, a sense of spinning, red or burning sensations and other mental and physical symptoms....)

there are many different meds that can help with this problem like antidepressants and other mood controlling meds, or other physical health related meds if the problem is high blood pressure or physical health problem related.

my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact your or a treatment provider. they will be able to assess what this problem is with in you and help you to get treated for it so that you will soon feel better.

Indeed we were not allowed to show anger, that would just get you another beating. I do not show anger in any way shape or form. I was also into self injury I'll leave it at that. Your not alone my friend,
This is so bad for me I couldn't even discipline my own children.
I feel if I ever snapped, would not end well. We just split and not deal with it period. Sorry not much help...

I feel like I should reply to this - but I *so* don't have any answers. I don't even have an inkling. I want to say I never get angry - because I really don't. Only, I know I do - I certainly have a tendency to rant sometimes, but right now I can't connect to why, or what, or when or how! In my teens I used to get really very angry - I had no idea what to do with it - I had to get it out of me somehow. I know I felt violent, but there is no part of me that agrees with any violence of any form - so I found S.I. a great reliever of anger. It seemed like the morally just approach to dealing with anger. Twenty years later, and I still find S.I. a relief, but I honestly have no idea what I did with the anger, as its just not there. (Except when it is).

I too have been beat to not show anger because it's not allowed and I had no rights. I do get upset, frustrated, and feel like at a lost because a situation is beyond my ability to cope with it.

We have the Angry One. He's triggered when some form of perceived injustice is perpetrated, especially towards us. It feels like a small ball of negative energy starts building in my chest, building and rising as time passes, especially when what's happening to cause this doesn't stop, trying to keep him surpressed...then it's like I get pushed out of the way and now I'm watching the Angry One raging, screaming, loathing, foaming, I mean total ugliness pushing his reasons of why he's angry while I'm watching in total horror from a distance and not able to take back control.

After he says his piece and runs out of angry energy, he goes back in leaving us to clean up the horrific embarrassing mess...without anyone believing in our apologies.

I'm on all kinds of stabilizers and antidepressants...this isn't really a disorder but more an emotional part thing.

I try to stay in a good mood, taking nothing too seriously, very accepting that nothing's perfect, throwing away expectations...being always aware of his presence,....and not drinking is also a plus.