[UglyDucky]

First, let me say that many years ago I was dx’d with DID – when I was in my 20s and trying to finish college. My T moved and the transfer to another T didn’t quite pan out, so there was no real resolution to my DID issues. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been in therapy. This summer, my primary care physician referred me to a psychologist for testing because I complained that I was losing words…couldn’t seem to ever get to the end of a sentence because I couldn’t think of the words I wanted to say. Testing noted no sign of early dementia, Alzheimer’s, etc., but the psychologist thought I was maybe mildly depressed. So, off I go to a T to help me find my words.

New T: (I have not revealed the DID dx from years ago) I'm dealing with some very stressful issues in therapy right now, but my last session was really pretty easy on me, considering. At some point toward the end of our hour, I lost touch with my T. I recall that she asked me what happened...? What? All I could think of was to tell her that I guess I just shut down. She mentioned a little later that she was concerned about where I go.

I don't have a dx of dissociation or depersonalization...or not until my last session (who knows what she thinks now?). We all dissociate sometimes (i.e. highway hypnosis, etc.). My concern is that I do this in therapy, which makes it difficult for the therapy process to work. I'm just chalking this up as one instance. Should I be keeping track of possible other times that I'm not connected? How do I do that when I live alone and am pretty isolated right now? (Sorry this is so long…)

[Georgia Bridge]

Oh, how memory escapes me! I also have DID and I've been told that with a psychiatric diagnosis, that diagnosis stays on your chart even when another professional diagnosises you with something else. They just add diagnosis upon diagnosis; they don't 're-diagnosis' you (you should see my diagnosis sheet in my chart).
So your previous diagnosis still stands (or so I've been told by one of my psychiatric care workers) even though your new T doesn't know about it and the record is long ago and far away.
I would tell my new T about the previous diagnosis if i felt comfortable in doing so... if you did that, y'all could work from there and your new T could assess you and make her own assessment while aware of the prior diagnosis. The prior records are still available to you would be my guess.
I usually don't like to give advice; it makes me feel bossy (i hate being bossy), but I am nowhere near my 'right mind' right now.
I do apologize if i have bothered or triggered you.
And I also apologize for the lengthy post.
And of the subject I spoke of, if you're at all interested in it, I hope you will Google it... because I am not 100% positive that what I said is the actual truth; it is just what happened to me (20 yrs. worth of uninterrupted inpatient and outpatient psychiatric treatment, with diagnosis upon diagnosis with.. uh... bipolar schizoaffective, BPD, and then finally the correct one, DID, with the comorbid symptoms that go along with it... anxiety, cPTSD, and whatever else).
I hope you take it with a grain of salt. .
P.S... If you do actually have DID things get better once it is addressed. And very interesting too! That has been my experience so far.

[finding_my_way]

that is difficult. i am lucky to have the psychiatrist i have who i have seen for 10 years now. i just now started talking more in depth about the others but did vaguely here and there over the years. the first four years of seeing her though, i was so dissociated that i hardly knew what the session was about..and i was dissociated 24/7 almost, so functioning was very difficult. sometimes, i just wasn't able to stay that present or a wall was put up so i couldn't really speak so easily. i did bring in some journal entries at one point that explained some things to her.

all i remember her saying the last few years is how my nervous system is wired different and that as time went on, things would start to come together more. for a while, i did not believe that would ever happen because the struggling was so severe and complex. but when something big happened in my life and some things became managed, things inside changed, and i was able to be more present than ever before. i didn't think it could happen...but lately it has been kind of falling apart a little more again which concerns me.

my reason for saying all that is cuz i also felt like therapy was going nowhere...well, i still haven't done actual therapy because of it...i know it could get worse, and i'm not really strong enough to go through some things yet or something since the dissociation is still there.

i don't know what to suggest because i try to just live the best i can day to day..anything else can cause a disruption, relationships, being out in the world too much, etc. so i still avoid a lot..but as far as dissociation when at home, i know it happens, but there is nothing i can really do when it does. i have tried to kept journal entries, but i'm not able to...so what i feel/think during it, if i am able to anyway, i cannot express it....except oddly, i can have conversations with people during it..so that's all i have to go on when it happens since i can't seem to put it anywhere else. makes no sense to me though.

but if you feel you need to keep track of it, maybe a notebook, journal, etc. could be helpful if you feel it is disrupting your life enough and you want to work on things.

[skeksi]

I think this would be a great thing to share with your new T. Even if you don't want to share the earlier diagnosis, talking about the times you are checking out in session can help you identify how often you do it and what seems to trigger it.

I understand your concern that you are missing things because of it, though. For what it's worth, I have talked with my T about that as well and he has sort of encouraged me to roll with it. I check out when I need to, and even when I can't re,ember what's going on in a session, it's impacting me and helping me move gradually towards change. I've started to think of T as an accumulation of experiences rather than discrete sessions or things that I have learned.

Originally Posted by UglyDucky

First, let me say that many years ago I was dx’d with DID – when I was in my 20s and trying to finish college. My T moved and the transfer to another T didn’t quite pan out, so there was no real resolution to my DID issues. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been in therapy. This summer, my primary care physician referred me to a psychologist for testing because I complained that I was losing words…couldn’t seem to ever get to the end of a sentence because I couldn’t think of the words I wanted to say. Testing noted no sign of early dementia, Alzheimer’s, etc., but the psychologist thought I was maybe mildly depressed. So, off I go to a T to help me find my words.

New T: (I have not revealed the DID dx from years ago) I'm dealing with some very stressful issues in therapy right now, but my last session was really pretty easy on me, considering. At some point toward the end of our hour, I lost touch with my T. I recall that she asked me what happened...? What? All I could think of was to tell her that I guess I just shut down. She mentioned a little later that she was concerned about where I go.

I don't have a dx of dissociation or depersonalization...or not until my last session (who knows what she thinks now?). We all dissociate sometimes (i.e. highway hypnosis, etc.). My concern is that I do this in therapy, which makes it difficult for the therapy process to work. I'm just chalking this up as one instance. Should I be keeping track of possible other times that I'm not connected? How do I do that when I live alone and am pretty isolated right now? (Sorry this is so long…)

I really believe that you should give your new therapist a break and tell her of your history, things most likely will move a little quicker in therapy is you do too, or she might take you through all the hoops that you've already been through.

And yes to that everyone dissociates, but we are really, really good at it and prone to do so...not saying that's what's happening.

I would be keeping a log book, and if you are doing this in therapy in front of your T, at least T is a believer.

[Icecream-4]

Hi, I'm new to the board, recently been told my T I have DID. I have dissociation, sometimes I'm aware of it, feels odd, disconnected etc. Other times it's much stronger with time lost. During my last season I was dissociated, disconnected at varying degrees for the whole session. In the end it was too much, I had to escape. T decided to end the session early because I was a mess.
I find trying to journal daily helps me. Sometimes I might realise what triggered me later, other times I don't have a clue.

I was holding some stuff back from my T but shared them. It was tough but I felt better.
With reading, getting more understanding I can look back and see I have been dissociating for a long, long time. Maybe as you realise you're dissociating you might find realise other things too.