I'm sitting here reading stuff others have writ, I feel..... -_-

I believe it and it sux. Talk about a career/ambition/life killer. It's like pointless to even get started because moments later it's over with before you even start, over and over. Yes, I have some major resentments, more than enough for everyone involved.

I'm my own life saboteur, made to self-destruct. I wish that I knew all this in the beginning, there are loads of things that I've would of done different.

At least when we were ignorant of the fact we operated and functioned. Now in the know we are broken and at a mental standstill- stuck in the muck.

We have an overwhelming feeling of "f***ed". -_-

-Disgusted.

[lowinmood]

I resonate with what you're saying especially this part:

'I'm my own life saboteur, made to self-destruct. I wish that I knew all this in the beginning, there are loads of things that I've would of done different.'

[Semi-depressed]

Now you know how you operated back then, but you didn't know while you were don't it. You can regret what you did, but you can't change it. What you can do is be determined not do do it again. You know better now. Not knowing is forgiveable. Knowing what you are dealing with and not finding a way to improve is to common.

How about this?: What would your future self say about what you are doing right now?

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by Semi-depressed

Now you know how you operated back then, but you didn't know while you were don't it. You can regret what you did, but you can't change it. What you can do is be determined not do do it again. You know better now. Not knowing is forgiveable. Knowing what you are dealing with and not finding a way to improve is to common.

How about this?: What would your future self say about what you are doing right now?

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk

Thanks semi.....it's a little complicated. There are just too many free variables in our life with very little control. We're just a messed up multiple, I guess, and that we should accept it and do the best that we can with what we got because there is no magic wand that can put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

[Semi-depressed]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Thanks semi.....it's a little complicated. There are just too many free variables in our life with very little control. We're just a messed up multiple, I guess, and that we should accept it and do the best that we can with what we got because there is no magic wand that can put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

It is true. There is a lot that I regret, but I can't know for sure if I would change it if I could. Things might be better, but they could be worse, if I could muck around with the past. On top of that, saying I would change the past makes it sound like it was all my fault. I can't take responsibility for everything I went through.

Yeah, we might be messed up, but I am here now and I am ready to ride this rollercoaster of recovery.

[flockpride]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I'm sitting here reading stuff others have writ, I feel..... -_-

I believe it and it sux. Talk about a career/ambition/life killer. It's like pointless to even get started because moments later it's over with before you even start, over and over. Yes, I have some major resentments, more than enough for everyone involved.

I'm my own life saboteur, made to self-destruct. I wish that I knew all this in the beginning, there are loads of things that I've would of done different.

At least when we were ignorant of the fact we operated and functioned. Now in the know we are broken and at a mental standstill- stuck in the muck.

We have an overwhelming feeling of "f***ed". -_-

-Disgusted.

Can relate.Came to the diagnosis and understanding what it means late in life. You look back and the only appropriate response is grief. And that sucks.

It's an invisible disability that isn't even acknowledged by some "professionals". But it's freaking real and devastating. All the talk of "hey, it helped you survive" is empty when you see what was missed and lost.

Some days it's hard to be positive and upbeat.

You know, for my sanity sake seeing I'm not depressed anymore, can I go back to ignorance?

I mean, we just have to stay busy and practice avoidance until it's like a faded memory. We are very good at forgetting things. It'll seem like a dream not before long, then an other will take over as host.

Nothing has really changed in my world except acceptance and conscience awareness. I wonder if this is possible?

I can use a vacation from myself.

[flockpride]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I mean, we just have to stay busy and practice avoidance until it's like a faded memory. We are very good at forgetting things. It'll seem like a dream not before long, then an other will take over as host.

Nothing has really changed in my world except acceptance and conscience awareness. I wonder if this is possible?

I can use a vacation from myself.

for me diagnosis brought awareness of what had been happening inside me forever. there's no going back, forgetting, avoiding anymore and it can be exhausting.

i do know that internally acknowledging parts and their issues does bring calm for real. it still freaks me out that it works, but it works.

DID is the ultimate vacation from one's self/selves.

You know, I'll never forget- this is my baby, but there are others that don't even think about this stuff, of course, their job and focus is on other things.

It's my bad that when I became that I did the research, gained the knowledge and insight, and can recognize the truth for what and how it is....this will never be forgotten, nor should it be. It shouldn't be a stressor to the others, either.

We just need to use this knowledge for system good, like obtaining help. Of course, like Disgusted, handling the truth can be difficult.

It just takes work.