[scar12346]

So I'm not diagnosed just yet but I'm on my way at it.
The issue is that one of my altars that is now gone for good, couldn't
keep his mouth shut and told a lot of people about it. And I lost
a lot of friends because I thought that I'm faking it. I however
do not feel like I am faking it.. or at least I didn't. I've been
having doubts but Waidth has been such a sweetheart and always made
sure that I know that they are real. That we are real. I will discuss
it with my psychologist. Anyways.. we've been reading a lot about
other people's systems.. and how they are missing some time? Now we
all are missing almost 7 years of our lives but it's because that
none of us are cores.. But time lost has never been an issue to
neither of us. Is it just us? Or maybe we are a very small system
with just three of us going out and one managing everything and
two on the side. Are we just good in managing stuff and team working?
Or is DID not the case for me?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by scar12346

So I'm not diagnosed just yet but I'm on my way at it.
The issue is that one of my altars that is now gone for good, couldn't
keep his mouth shut and told a lot of people about it. And I lost
a lot of friends because I thought that I'm faking it. I however
do not feel like I am faking it.. or at least I didn't. I've been
having doubts but Waidth has been such a sweetheart and always made
sure that I know that they are real. That we are real. I will discuss
it with my psychologist. Anyways.. we've been reading a lot about
other people's systems.. and how they are missing some time? Now we
all are missing almost 7 years of our lives but it's because that
none of us are cores.. But time lost has never been an issue to
neither of us. Is it just us? Or maybe we are a very small system
with just three of us going out and one managing everything and
two on the side. Are we just good in managing stuff and team working?
Or is DID not the case for me?

I see that your location is Bulgaria. what Im posting may be different for your location .

here in the USA here in the USA a person must have more than one alter so the alter that is now gone will not be part of the diagnosing process if you were here in the USA. my point you no longer have to worry about that alter because they are gone.

I am surprised that the alter told others about your system im sorry that happened to you, my system was built on keeping secrets, do not tell or threat of harm (something my abusers told me which in part made it so that none of my alters would tell and if I tried my alters would become suicidal or self injuring)

Im a bit confused because in my location the term core is used to define who the body born person is. do you mean none of you are the body born person or do you mean none of you take responsibility for being the one mostly in control?

Im also confused because you stated you lost 7 years but then state time loss has never been an issue. do you mean that you used to remember those 7 years and now that memory is gone, now that the alter is gone?

Here in the USA this memory problem would not be part of having DID. here what happens when an alter is gone everything that was the alter that is gone becomes part of the others, nothing is lost, everything is gained with healing.

I also read your other posts and Im a bit confused. in this one you say there is only 3 (the body born and two on the side?) but in another post you list 6, did three recently integrate? My alters are all integrated. if these three integrated it may seem a bit strange and confusing so wanted you to know that you are not alone.

please dont take my post as a diagnosis. only your treatment providers can say whether you have a mental disorder or not.

what I can say is that everything you posted can be any number of normal, mental or physical health problems, which is why Im glad that you posted that you will be talking with your psychologist.

in the mean time just continue to go according to what ever your psychologist says is going on with you already. they are the ones that can help you the most. i can understand how reading online can cause a person to compare their system to others, but here in the USA we have a saying...everyones system is comprised how ever they needed it to be in order for their body and system to survive..

my point dont worry if your system is different than what you are reading. there are many different normal, mental and physical health issues that are comprised of many different types of alters.

[scar12346]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I see that your location is Bulgaria. what Im posting may be different for your location .

here in the USA here in the USA a person must have more than one alter so the alter that is now gone will not be part of the diagnosing process if you were here in the USA. my point you no longer have to worry about that alter because they are gone.

I am surprised that the alter told others about your system im sorry that happened to you, my system was built on keeping secrets, do not tell or threat of harm (something my abusers told me which in part made it so that none of my alters would tell and if I tried my alters would become suicidal or self injuring)

Im a bit confused because in my location the term core is used to define who the body born person is. do you mean none of you are the body born person or do you mean none of you take responsibility for being the one mostly in control?

Im also confused because you stated you lost 7 years but then state time loss has never been an issue. do you mean that you used to remember those 7 years and now that memory is gone, now that the alter is gone?

Here in the USA this memory problem would not be part of having DID. here what happens when an alter is gone everything that was the alter that is gone becomes part of the others, nothing is lost, everything is gained with healing.

I also read your other posts and Im a bit confused. in this one you say there is only 3 (the body born and two on the side?) but in another post you list 6, did three recently integrate? My alters are all integrated. if these three integrated it may seem a bit strange and confusing so wanted you to know that you are not alone.

please dont take my post as a diagnosis. only your treatment providers can say whether you have a mental disorder or not.

what I can say is that everything you posted can be any number of normal, mental or physical health problems, which is why Im glad that you posted that you will be talking with your psychologist.

in the mean time just continue to go according to what ever your psychologist says is going on with you already. they are the ones that can help you the most. i can understand how reading online can cause a person to compare their system to others, but here in the USA we have a saying...everyones system is comprised how ever they needed it to be in order for their body and system to survive..

my point dont worry if your system is different than what you are reading. there are many different normal, mental and physical health issues that are comprised of many different types of alters.

We (the three hosts) made a promise to never hide anything but the things that might hurt one of us, or the littles, so something that might be triggering for me, or someone else, will be hidden. Everything else is an open book. That exact altar was horrible in pretty much everything. His point of existence was to hurt us, that's why we, mainly Evee, tried to block him out or at least put him back, which works from time to time.

The core, is indeed used as the original one that was born with the body. She is long gone because of that altar that we are trying to remove.

By missing 7 years I meant that during that time it was either the core going on with her life (and me only remembering the things that I did) and not knowing about us and then disappearing with all of the childhood memories, or when we were too busy dealing with getting the system right. So that includes, setting up roles, fighting the ones who did not want to obey, and getting to know each other. Ever since then we can recall some memories from the past but also the last 2 years in which we live as a well managed system.

I guess what I wanted to say was that there are three of us who are the hosts and that go out in public and socialize. The other 3 are Evee, who is our manager and rarely goes out because she is a little and she is a bit shy. Then there is Annie that is as well a little and she is too scared to go out because someone might say something to her. And Carolinae, that is a fragment and has the job of keeping Scar safe and loved as in romantic love so she doesn't go out except in our home or when we are alone. So it is mainly me, Waidth and Scar who experience the most of life in first person, if I can say.

Thank you so very much. I should stop thinking what other people are telling me to. It's just hard when every "friend" that I have thinks that I'm faking it, while in reality I know me the best. And me is 6 different people . Thank you once again.

Originally Posted by scar12346

So I'm not diagnosed just yet but I'm on my way at it.
The issue is that one of my altars that is now gone for good, couldn't
keep his mouth shut and told a lot of people about it. And I lost
a lot of friends because I thought that I'm faking it. I however
do not feel like I am faking it.. or at least I didn't. I've been
having doubts but Waidth has been such a sweetheart and always made
sure that I know that they are real. That we are real. I will discuss
it with my psychologist. Anyways.. we've been reading a lot about
other people's systems.. and how they are missing some time? Now we
all are missing almost 7 years of our lives but it's because that
none of us are cores.. But time lost has never been an issue to
neither of us. Is it just us? Or maybe we are a very small system
with just three of us going out and one managing everything and
two on the side. Are we just good in managing stuff and team working?
Or is DID not the case for me?

I'm sorry that you are going through all this...it's just so unfair.

A multiple is a multiple regardless of the diagnostic label I feel. If you ask me, OSDD is just as bad as DID if not worse in some regards...DID/MPD is just the more famous. Besides, depending on where you live, one can be diagnosed one or the other. Anyone having more than one mind in their head is not doing to good in my book.

Alters don't like disappear for good...they just go dormant. They are just quiet sometimes out of spite, dormant for not being needed, or in hiding to keep their memory secret from the conscious collective- doing their job.

When we was younger....we went into voluntary denial to even keep it a secret from us because we wanted to feel normal. FAIL on the normal part, but kept it a secret for 46 years. We just recently came out of denial and feel robbed of a normal life. We are more selective now in who we tell...like professionals only because everyone else thinks we are crazy that we've told (family and friends- everyone instantly became armchair shrinks and started telling me what THEY thought! Lol)....even my partner thinks I'm faking! Lol

We are aware (co-conscious) of our others in a limited fashion...enough to function and appear singular. Our memories though, stay with the other that experiences them which fragments our moments, days, weeks...

We have no core for we all work together to make a person. Some of us just have more experience then others...at least that's how we see it. Everyone has a job to do, so we present to deal with life, even though today it all seems to be falling apart.

In closing,