A long story

Hello I came here to get your opinion on an issue thats been plaguing me for as long as I can remember.

So there's the general feeling of detachment, sort of like I'm sitting back and observing this other person live, and life as I've come to know it. I don't know why I've encased their body, and have been sent to witness them on the planet earth, as A creature from another , universe, plane of existence, realm, etc. . The body I live with has become familiar, but I still know it's not mine.

I'm just sitting back in the audience watching the play of life happen before me with all the other actors, including the person who's meant to represent me. Except it's not really me, just the shell. I, myself am a completely different entity.

I think it's very crucial to note that I've already been diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1. I've come a long way from where I've started and I think I found my right cocktail of medication. From time to time I've brought up with my psychiatrist and Therapist, both telling me to go talk to one another, but I finally let it all go and I've managed to make sure they confer with each other. I want to know what you all think. People I've tried to discuss this with tend to not take me seriously and tell me you're not special, it happens to everybody, etc. Its so depressing and scary. I'm not sure how much longer I can go on like this and certainly can't help how I feel and that it bothers me this much. If I come off as whiny to the people who really do suffer with this issue, I'm very sorry

Am I being too sensitive and wasting my doctors' time? and should call it all off?

something you may not be aware of... in 2013 america changed over to a new standard for mental disorders... one of the changes is that depressive disorders now include the symptoms you posted about. (which may be why your treatment providers said you have bipolar disorder and have not diagnosed you with a dissociative disorder)

my suggestion is talk with your treatment providers. they can explain to you about the new diagnostics and symptoms and why they say your problems are bipolar disorder.

another thing I can tell you is that I have bipolar disorder and do have the symptoms that you have posted about. short version psychotropic medications that treat bipolar have the unfortunate side effect of sometimes causing a person to have lack of affect... this is where because of medications sometimes I end up not being able to show, express and feel emotions. just kind of sit there watching and sometimes feeling like I have split in half similar to having alternate personalities but a bit different. when this happens to me I get physical. I stand up, walk around, take my canoe out on the lake and get in touch with nature... and other grounding myself back in touch with my body and others around me.

maybe you and your treatment providers can take the time to write out some grounding activities for you to do that will help you to reconnect with your self and your surroundings.

What you experience is not part of depression normally and even if it was it would only be episodic. If you feel it all the time, I would guess it is something comorbid. They might not wanna mess with it since it is a forgotten area of psychiatry and they don't know what do do with it.

I was rereading your post and noticed something. in it you state...

I don't know why I've encased their body, and have been sent to witness them on the planet earth, as A creature from another , universe, plane of existence, realm, etc. . The body I live with has become familiar, but I still know it's not mine.

Dissociative disorders in my locations do not include believing one is an alien from another planet possessing a human body to watch learn or witness them.

here in my location this happening is called psychosis (which having psychotic symptoms are a part of having bipolar disorder)

with DID the term possession it is a cultural description not a situation where aliens come to earth and enter a human beings body.

some cultures (for example native american) use the term possession instead of words like feeling numb, feeling spaced out, feeling disconnected, dissociating, sense of agency, and ownership

my suggestion contact your treatment providers, they can adjust your bipolar medications to help with this problem.

but I've experienced this sensation for almost as long as I can remember, so I wouldn't really say it's the meds? I probably should've mentioned that initially...

you are right since you have had it all your life the .....cause ..... probably isnt medication. since the meds are not the ......cause...then medication can most likely help.

here in my location believing one is an alien from another planet inhabiting a humans body is called having delusions, delusional beliefs, delusional thoughts) treatment for this kind of thing is medication.

there are many great meds out there that work called anti psychotics. maybe you can talk with your treatment providers to see if anti psychotics will work for you.

hmmm, I would've never guessed psychosis...

I think I posted this in the wrong forum (newbie)? or is this condition synonymous with depersonalization?

I recall my therapist getting her copy of the dsm-v and reading symptoms of depersonalization, asking me of any of those symptoms resonated at all.

synonymous with depersonalization....no depersonalization in ....my location.... is having feelings of unreality (feeling like you are in a dream, feeling like your limbs dont belong to you, feeling like you are outside your body watching, feeling like you are walking on a warped or slanted floor) though you feel this way reality testing remains intact meaning you know you are really inside your body, you know you are not dreaming, you know that hand that feel numb and disconnected is your hand, you know you are not really floating outside your body, you know whats real and what isnt. (you can read the actual diagnostics america goes by in the link at the bottom of my post.)

psychosis on the other hand in ....my location...is seeing hearing smelling things that are not really happening (in other words hallucinating...example smelling fire but yet nothing is on fire, hearing sounds but no one is around to make those sounds) or having delusions which my location defines as thoughts and beliefs about things that are not real like believing you are someone famous, or an animal plant or alien, and other can not possibly be real thoughts and beliefs.

suggestion talk with your treatment providers they will be able to go more in depth on these issues as they pertain to you and will be able to tell you which or all of these problems you may be having.

Some on this part of the forum forget it is not only for DID but all types of dissociation. Derealization and depresonalization are real dissociative diagnoses.

Of course thinking you are not really from here can be a sort of psychosis (delusion), BUT it can also be such a strong disconnect between what you KNOW and what you FEEL, that your mind will invent a story to explain this feeling of disconnect.

If you try to feel you are here, on your own planet, as a human, but the emotion of it is totally lacking because of dissociation, that can make a person need an explanation that might not be the correct one. The human brain wants to explain feelings so much, and other things too, to the point where it rather explains it wrong than don't explain at all.

Hey hon, thanks for posting on here. That's a very descriptive way to describe your experiences. I do understand the inability to "clinically" describe what you are experiencing if that's what you are doing, metaphorically. Describing your reality like "sent from another planet" puts a whole new spin on it. We only use words and descriptors as we know them to do our best to describe our experiences. Now if it's a literal thing being an alien sent to observe, then that would definetly be along the lines of psychosis, not diagnosing, just saying.

I myself do also feel like that- where reality melts into what I call another universe or a bubble that all is unreal but yet familiar. Like an object is the object, but not based on our physical laws of existence. I can sit on my bed, in my room, like I've always done for years living there, and all my possessions feel like it doesn't belong to me, like it's not my room. I know it does, but it doesn't- very weird. I usually just sit there until I get bored or a little freak to start grounding myself through distraction and it fades away. Deep breath and back to reality. Actually, it's like I stay in a constant state of this, it's just sometimes it peaks and ?I notice it.

Under extreme stress, I can be looking at myself from the side watching the body freak out with no conscience control from me, it doing its own thing before I snap back at it....I often and am so stressed out wondering why am I like that? What happened? Etc.

And heck no, you are not being too sensitive and wasting your doctors time! He's getting paid by you to listen. If I want to recite "Mary had a little lamb" for an hour, then they get to listen because I paid for it! Lol That's a little extreme and maybe far fetched...but it's true.

This is a concern of yours and obviously is causing you some discomfort that it should be explored. Maybe it's beyond your therapists expertise? Does she have trauma training? Maybe time to find one that does deal with dissociative disorders?

I don't know, but you shouldn't short change yourself because you know your experiences better than anyone else. Anyone dismissing another's experiences tends to upset us, even in life out of the doctors office. Actually, it pisses us off because it's frustrating.

Any how love, I hope that you do what's right for you. Good luck!

thank you for replying I'd like to point out that the description I gave in the beginning was not metaphorical but literal. People often assume I'm speaking metaphorically...