wondering

I haven't been to therapy in over a year, I think, anyway, I am reluctant to engage my parts like I did when in therapy. It sort of like how we were before we knew. We are aware of us so it makes it easier to communicate without thinking we are nuts but I feel afraid to fully acknowledge us as parts. I am concerned that we might become dysfunctional in the world. We may be getting a new job and we need to be how we have been in the past. We need the worker parts to go to work. That used to happen automatically. But recently that hasn't been the case. In fact the worker parts don't really want to go to work. But we need the money. I don't see us working for a long time just for a few months. Unless the workers like the new job. Than maybe they won't mind going to work. I don't know. I keep thinking if we start thinking of ourselves as a system with many parts we will get lost again. There will be no order and everyone will be coming and going. I don't want parts to think they shouldn't be able to express themselves but I also don't want us to be seen. And too much switching out loud will cause trouble. If we get this job we will really need to decide if we are willing to work or not. And if we are willing to work that the parts who are the ones who go to work will need to focus and get the job done. That is what I think

I cant answer to how things will work out with you but I can tell you with me and my treatment providers when I was worried about things like this...

my treatment provider told me nothing after diagnosis and in treatment was going to happen to me and my alters that wasnt already been happening before I received the diagnosis. if anything because i would be in treatment learning new coping tools ground and other therapy related things my internal system and I would improve not get worse. here in my location treatment for dissociative problems focus on tools that will enable the host and alters to not have so many dissociative problems, dissociate less because the triggers associated with dissociating gets addressed and taken care of.

example rainy would take control and act out in public any time there was a rain storm in therapy she learned what rain storms were and why all the noise. after that she would take control during storms but no longer act out. she would hold her blanket, close her eyes and wait it out.

when I took care of the traumatic event that had to do with storms I was better able to stay calm and stay grounded rather than dissociate.

only you can decide whether to enter therapy for me it was well worth it.

Hi. I'm new to this forum and also new to sorting all this out.

What you are saying makes total sense. I felt the same way today, doing a job I've done for the past 16 years. It's kind of scary to acknowledge the other parts of us, but it's also kind of scary to me not to.

The way I feel, the other parts have been there and have taken care of what needed to be done. I thank them for that. Right now it's different to me to actually know that they are there and be aware that they have done the job they were put there for.

What I feel for you, is that your parts will take care of what needs to done and you can trust that it will be ok.

Again, I am new here, but that is what my heart said and I wanted to share it with you.

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Bobbie: Hi hon, working/existing is always an adventure with this thing. I just started working for an employer, the first time in 6 years for we've always been self-employed and worked alone.

Our system always finds it difficult starting new things, but when we do, it's like why did we not do this earlier? We always spend a lot of fear over what turns out to be nothing.

We have no choice but to switch to deal with things, but being co-con, we are able to monitor what's happening and remind the one present that it's in public viewing and to get back with the public image. Sometimes when we are triggered out, we try jumping back in so as to hide ourselves. Of course, we are always accepted as a single person, but quirky, lol.

Are you able to communicate with your others? We here discuss, vote, and help each other through the day doing our thing and contributing. We've decided to do what's best for the body (system) which will be for us.

We too want to stay hidden, to appear as a normal singleton, but history shows that that's impossible for us and we've finally came around to accepting that, so we now work on the embaraasment factor.... trying to keep that level as low as possible! Lol

Lucky for us, we go to the office and they hand us a work order, and we go work by ourselves. How cool is that!?!!

Anyways, good luck on your job hunt and I hope that you all can work together.

Thanks for reminding me that my parts have taken care of us in the past. Prior to my retirement I was having trouble doing my job. I was switching to parts that didn't usually come out while I was at work. It was like the ridge structure of behavior was cracking. The switching effected my memory and how I did my job. It was good I retired. I recently went back to do pt time work but couldn't remember what to do from one day to the next. Everyone was trying to help but it didn't work out. Now I may be getting a new job where I will be learning new things as well as relying on stuff I already know. It will be dealing with the public. I think my worker parts will need to decide if they are willing to work. They have worked hard for many years, I guess I am hoping they still have it in them to do a little more.

That is cool. I am glad you have a job your system likes. Maybe my system will like the new job I apply ed for. I do think that helps.