[pearlys]

I think about the following:

there is a serious pearlys, there is an addict perleas, there is a sinner pearlies, there is a crazy pealries, there is an energetic pearlys, there is a depressed pearlyes.

but they are aware of each others existance

it doesnt seem like its me however.

and when i look into the mirror or hear my voice or look at my body i see someone that isnt me

and when i look back into my life, past or recent past, it seems like the life of someone else.. althoug it is my own memory

i lose track of time and day sometimes.. but more i see myself as more than one character.

But I still know what I or the others are doing...

Is this MPD or am I just crazy??

[Shaly78]

In fact, before dx there would have been an answer just like asking Tell me about yourself....There are some now know as alters after dx that I knew about. That is for your treatment provider to figure out then you it's more deeper than that really though. I would say work with your treatment provider journal then in time you will know.

Sherri: I hope not hon.

First off...you are not crazy unless you are petting your invisible dog while drooling all over the place.

Everyone has several faces, but for me..its like different identities with different likes and dislikes, gender, favorite color, age, etc is what leans me to multiplicity.

I always have said that we all wear different hats....but I have a different identity to wear a different hat. If that makes sense, then you might ?? Be a multiple?

Co-conscience is a weird animal. You can share a space, take it personal even though it doesn't make sense because yould never do/think that, but still become an other...from my experience.

When it comes to mirrors there is a lot of denial and disconnect. I know its what I look like, but no way....really??? I hate it!

Do you have a learned T? That would be your best bet at real discovery. I wish you the best.

[pearlys]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I always have said that we all wear different hats....but I have a different identity to wear a different hat. If that makes sense, then you might ?? Be a multiple?

it makes perfectly sense... and i emailed this post to my PDOC.. otherwise I might forget... monday I see her.

When it comes to mirrors there is a lot of denial and disconnect. I know its what I look like, but no way....really??? I hate it!

i hate it but it also isnt me...

[amandalouise]

We have many different normal, mental and physical health problems that can be what you posted,, which is Im guessing part of why this site does not allow us to make a diagnosis of other members problems. the only sure way to know whether you have a (any) mental disorders is by contacting a treatment provider. they can help you get set up for diagnostic tests that can tell them and you if you have DID or not.

You know....as long as you are being helped both professionally and supportively...tou go Pearly. Get it done sweets.

Beleive me. You dont have to be like totally mindless others in one body...its like an i ner sibling teleapthy thing.. Lol

Sort of.

[pearlys]

I see my pdoc today, wonder if she has to say something about my e-mail.

Originally Posted by pearlys

I see my pdoc today, wonder if she has to say something about my e-mail.

Sherri: Its impossible for any of us to say that you do or don't. MPD/DID by the DSM5 is pretty specific about what is DID, but that doesn't negate having a type of Dissociative Disorder.

I've heard others describe themselves as different versions of themselves and are totally aware with memory intact.

Our problem is that we have memory problems like most of my life is a blank and amnesia to each others essence, but enough presence to roughly function: thats still a DD. We are also distinct seperate entities, but is it DID? Idk. We are a Multiple.

So, its something to explore about yourself with a T, and feel free to ask questions here. I do, or we do somethings that are quite unorthodox on here

Anywho....

[pearlys]

Pdoc keeps telling me i should stop analyzing me myself an i
She thinks its a personality disorder... And the symptoms are depression related...

[Shaly78]

Pearlys, I think you should listen to your pdoc in the danger of analyzing yourself....It can make you insane and very much too over analytical ...I think you have to pick your days/day to recognize certain things, but it can be very dangerous to watch too closely.....You can become too unbalanced living for the approval of people that are too far left field and it will seem to unnormal.......My situation was different, I was forced out in my treatment, but that is besides the point I can see where it can make you really edgy and overall make you want to beat yourself up when we are great at that anyway. Someday, it will be so obvious MPD/DID that you can no longer deny it....Best advice would be to go on with life as normal, continue with a T and hopefully you got a good T from the beginning...Try to stay with the same T because eventually they will get the diagnosis correct, just make sure you are doing your part with disclosing, journaling help as well......I tend to think they (T) have good knowledge and mostly are waiting on us to open up....So make sure you are there for the right reasons .....A good therapist should now how to get you to open up and also be okay with slowing down and making T kind of fun and creative...If you don't wanna go full charge ahead on trauma work there are others things you can discuss that might help with determining dissociation, MPD/DID, you can talk about music, work, cooking, role play, enter groups a lot of different things really.

[amandalouise]

pearlys ...from your post....

Pdoc keeps telling me i should stop analyzing me myself an i
She thinks its a personality disorder... And the symptoms are depression related...

not sure if you know this but psych central has many forums for all kinds of mental disorders. here is where you will find the personality disorders

Personality Place - Forums at Psych Central

my point is maybe you can find more help there too. there are many members that have more than one problem so they read, post and find help in many forums here.

example when I am having bipolar disorder problems I read the bipolar boards, when I have dissociative problems I come to the dissociation forum, when I am having parenting stress I look to the parenting forum, when I am having PTSD related problems I head for the PTSD forum...

just a suggestion to maybe give you more options and opportunities for help and info with your problems.

[pearlys]

Ok thank you. I thought that it is more than "just" dissociation since I seem to have more than one identity, depending on the situation.

My dx range is from personality disorder NOS, to mood disorder NOS to BP2 to BP1
I guess because they don't know either and whatever psychotherapy or pharmacotherapy, some symptoms don't go away. Thats one of the reasons I am suggesting myself wether it could be this or that.

[flockpride]

Some people talk about "changing gears" to refer to different ways of being. I seem to change vehicles. I have DID.

Originally Posted by pearlys

I think about the following:

there is a serious pearlys, there is an addict perleas, there is a sinner pearlies, there is a crazy pealries, there is an energetic pearlys, there is a depressed pearlyes.

but they are aware of each others existance

it doesnt seem like its me however.

and when i look into the mirror or hear my voice or look at my body i see someone that isnt me

and when i look back into my life, past or recent past, it seems like the life of someone else.. althoug it is my own memory

i lose track of time and day sometimes.. but more i see myself as more than one character.

But I still know what I or the others are doing...

Is this MPD or am I just crazy??

Carpenter: I dont know, but what I do know is that if I'm not at work, I don't know anything else. I just work, thats my focus. Just saying.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by pearlys

Ok thank you. I thought that it is more than "just" dissociation since I seem to have more than one identity, depending on the situation.

My dx range is from personality disorder NOS, to mood disorder NOS to BP2 to BP1
I guess because they don't know either and whatever psychotherapy or pharmacotherapy, some symptoms don't go away. Thats one of the reasons I am suggesting myself wether it could be this or that.

here in the USA the labels containing NOS has been discontinued, this happened back in 2013. and a diagnostic criteria for mental disorders stating the problem cant be better explained by another mental disorder. this may be why they changed your diagnosis off of those NOS diagnosis's to BP1 and BP2. (because they felt BP1 and BP2 better explains your problems now that there is no NOS diagnosis labels in the USA)

just a guess here so if you are in the USA you might want to talk to your treatment providers, they will explain more in detail why they diagnosed you the way they did.

[-jimi-]

I don't think having a very fluid identity has a name or a diagnosis. It can be part of BPD but if one does not have the other BPD symptoms? Then that is out! If someone has it without dissociation, then OSDD is out too!

Think the manual totally missed this one!

[pearlys]

I live in the Netherlands, we use DSM too. I dont have Borderline Personality Disorder (I suppose you mean this with BPD, and not Bipolar Disorder? Im BP1).

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by pearlys

I live in the Netherlands, we use DSM too. I dont have Borderline Personality Disorder (I suppose you mean this with BPD, and not Bipolar Disorder? Im BP1).

in 2013 a new DSM was put into use. its the DSM 5 now that treatment providers are using when diagnosing by way of the DSM. all mental disorders in the DSM have been updated, new mental disorders and categories, some some mental disorders are no longer used. for example the DSM no longer contains any NOS mental disorders,

All NOS labels for all mental disorders has been discontinued and no longer used as diagnostic labels. In my first link at the bottom of my post you will find a complete listing of what the new DSM (DSM 5) now has in it for mental disorders.

your treatment provider can explain to you what your new diagnosis label is that takes the place of what ever diagnosis you previously had that contained the labeling NOS attached to it.

[pearlys]

I wanted to buy a book about the DSM (5) but they are very expensive here, even second hand

[pearlys]

(Accidentally I posted this in another thread).

Thanks for your input Amandalouise. I will read that when my concentration allows it. As far as I currently know there are three types of (what is the name of the category?):

dissociation
derealization
depersonalization

Im gonna try to find out what is the difference between them. I always labeled my distortion as "brainfog", a huge noise inside of my head, and I think that it is related to the feeling that I am aware of my body and thoughts in a sense that they are not mine.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by pearlys

(Accidentally I posted this in another thread).

Thanks for your input Amandalouise. I will read that when my concentration allows it. As far as I currently know there are three types of (what is the name of the category?):

dissociation
derealization
depersonalization

Im gonna try to find out what is the difference between them. I always labeled my distortion as "brainfog", a huge noise inside of my head, and I think that it is related to the feeling that I am aware of my body and thoughts in a sense that they are not mine.

thats ok Ive posted in the wrong spot before too. i reported the accidental post so that they can remove it for you. heads up there is a report button to the right at the bottom, any time you find you accidentally posted somewhere you didnt mean it to be, its ok to report your own post and in the space given let the moderators know where you want the post to be or have it deleted so that you can repost where you want your posts to be.

[-jimi-]

Originally Posted by pearlys

As far as I currently know there are three types of (what is the name of the category?):

dissociation
derealization
depersonalization

Im gonna try to find out what is the difference between them.

The headline is dissociation.

Some stuff that falls under dissociation:

Derealization: The world seems unreal and/or lacking true depth.
Depersonalization: Has traits of derealization plus feels a disconnect to self and sometimes body. Like being in a dream or a movie. Or like life is happening to someone else.
Dissociative amnesia: Can be standalone or part of other dissociation. It is not limited to, but can create gaps for certain traumatic events.
A very common dissociative symptoms is getting numb.
DID: Two or more different personalities coexist in the same body, aware or unaware of each other, amnesia is present at times.
OSDD: Different personalities can be present but are often less distinct from each other and/or absence of amnesia, other forms exist as well.
Other dissociative phenomenons can be: Excessive daydreaming, dissociation towards body (for example to do with pain, heat and appetite), trance and twilight states (functioning but not being "in there").

Some types of dissociation is a diagnosis by itself, others are part of another diagnosis and some are personal patterns that are not seen as morbid enough to diagnose, some (rare in our culture) are wanted.

[pearlys]

Definitely i suffer from derealization. Life passes by like a movie but im not part of it. And depersonalization: im unpleasantly aware of my voice and body like im also a spectator. I have a huge brainfog and big noise inside my head.

[pearlys]

Definitely i suffer from derealization. Life passes by like a movie but im not part of it. And depersonalization: im unpleasantly aware of my voice and body like im also a spectator.somehow disconnected from myself and life and others. I have a huge brainfog and big noise inside my head.