I've heard these words multiples used to describe themselves, and I just can't get my head wrapped around it.

For instance, our system has distinct Others that do as they think and please which amounts to no memory of it on our part. We are somewhat co-con but each think for their own.

Is there anyone here that can explain? Anyone that lives this?

I imagine that it's like one is present all the time, knows their memory, but changes...much like maybe someone that is borderline?

We try to apply the wording to our system and it doesn't feel right or fit.

Just curious. Inquiring minds just want to know.

Thanks.

Happy to take this one -

"Different versions of me" is the only possible way I could describe me. this. whatever it is that makes my personality and thinking so different from the norm. I think thats why it took so long to figure out. My different parts can be extreme- for instance often I will be desperately insecure, massive social anxiety, terrified of everything, too shy to speak. And just as often I will be a gobby sh1te, not afraid of anything, find me practising photojournalism in the middle of a riot or a mosh pit! But, despite the extremes that I can be - its all so.... me!

I do have themes running through all of them. Morals. Love of animals. Love of George Ezra! These things seem to never change no matter which version of me I am.

Unfortunately, it is nothing like one is present all the time. There is pretty much zero co-con going on (although rapidly improving - yay!) My amnesic barriers are massive and strong and debilitating. I have no sense of time at all. I am renowned for my poor memory and I just got no grip of any kind of organisational skills. I often can't remember morning to night, let along day to day or month to month.

I always knew I had a lot of different sides to me. But I never doubted that they were me. It is only since discovering DID, and allowing the different versions of me some independence, that I have come to understand that they are still me, but they are also separate to me at the same time. I think the one good thing about the 'versions of me' scenario, is that we already know we are me, and so integration is something to look forward to, rather than something to fear.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I've heard these words multiples used to describe themselves, and I just can't get my head wrapped around it.

For instance, our system has distinct Others that do as they think and please which amounts to no memory of it on our part. We are somewhat co-con but each think for their own.

Is there anyone here that can explain? Anyone that lives this?

I imagine that it's like one is present all the time, knows their memory, but changes...much like maybe someone that is borderline?

We try to apply the wording to our system and it doesn't feel right or fit.

Just curious. Inquiring minds just want to know.

Thanks.

in the normal scheme of things everyone has times when they feel differently, react differently, appear to be different personalities. these parts of self are not the type of alternate personalities that come with having DID, they are slightly different. the mental health term for it is called Ego States, introjects, parts of self and other terms. the person with these types of alters dont perceive them as separate from their self but rather parts of their self, different versions of their self.

an example that treatment providers use here in my location is you know how when you are with a friend you will talk and behave one way then when you are with your parents you will talk and behave another way, when you are in school you talk and behave another way, with children you talk and do things another way, when you are at a friends birthday party you talk act one way, when at a church function you do things differently...

these are all different version of the same person.

an example i frequently use is I certainly would not talk to my children the same way I talk with my wife, When I am with my children my personality is that of a mother taking care of and playing with my children, when I am with my wife my personality is that of being a wife.

its still all me just different versions of me.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by CassyO

Happy to take this one -

"Different versions of me" is the only possible way I could describe me. this. whatever it is that makes my personality and thinking so different from the norm. I think thats why it took so long to figure out. My different parts can be extreme- for instance often I will be desperately insecure, massive social anxiety, terrified of everything, too shy to speak. And just as often I will be a gobby sh1te, not afraid of anything, find me practising photojournalism in the middle of a riot or a mosh pit! But, despite the extremes that I can be - its all so.... me!

I do have themes running through all of them. Morals. Love of animals. Love of George Ezra! These things seem to never change no matter which version of me I am.

Unfortunately, it is nothing like one is present all the time. There is pretty much zero co-con going on (although rapidly improving - yay!) My amnesic barriers are massive and strong and debilitating. I have no sense of time at all. I am renowned for my poor memory and I just got no grip of any kind of organisational skills. I often can't remember morning to night, let along day to day or month to month.

I always knew I had a lot of different sides to me. But I never doubted that they were me. It is only since discovering DID, and allowing the different versions of me some independence, that I have come to understand that they are still me, but they are also separate to me at the same time. I think the one good thing about the 'versions of me' scenario, is that we already know we are me, and so integration is something to look forward to, rather than something to fear.

This describes how I feel too! It's kind of like a shift sometimes, and my perception of situations and my feelings change. I'm still "me" but I respond and react in different ways. It's kind of like going into auto pilot and someone else is talking and I'm listening.

"My different parts can be extreme- for instance often I will be desperately insecure, massive social anxiety, terrified of everything, too shy to speak."

This is very true for me too. The way I've tried to understand it is that - if I'm triggered, then whatever the emotion is that I'm trying to deal with takes me back to the memory, that I can't always remember, and it automatically replays. That is the emotion or reaction that takes over on it's own. I'm listening and watching.

Again, I have not been diagnosed with DID but struggle greatly with the dissociation. As I have "found" other parts of me, it seems that they are becoming "known" to me and there is an understanding of who and why those parts are. I can feel their feelings and hear and feel their thoughts at times.

I struggle a lot with memory issues also. Time perception. Not sure how all that play in with everything else.

I am me. Those parts are me. We are all together me.

That is what I know, so far. I'm still learning, so who knows if I've got it right or now.

Thanks you all for that, and even the term "ego states" which I get but seems to not apply. If it was just ego states, I can't see there being any form of memory loss.

In our system...everyone thinks that they are the "me" even though we all know we are seperated parts of a whole. And the fight rages on....

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Thanks you all for that, and even the term "ego states" which I get but seems to not apply. If it was just ego states, I can't see there being any form of memory loss.

In our system...everyone thinks that they are the "me" even though we all know we are seperated parts of a whole. And the fight rages on....

There have been a couple of things that have recently come up/come out with me, that seem kind of related to what you are saying.

My son mentioned a conversation he had with me one night in our kitchen, where I was upset and crying. He brought it up in conversation and I acted like I knew what he was talking about, while my mind was spinning trying to remember or figure out what was going on. I did ask him about it later, and he told me that we talked about some issues I was trying to work through. My heart was very sad that this had happened with him. MY mind was spinning, again, because I couldn't remember anything about it.

I do remember that I was listening to a song that was really speaking to my heart, and I was thinking about how I would have changed things if I could have. I remember that, then I remember looking at the clock on my stove and seeing what time it was. Then I remember wiping off the kitchen counters and going to bed. Those are very clear memories to me. But, there is some missing in between time that nothing is there.

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

There have been a couple of things that have recently come up/come out with me, that seem kind of related to what you are saying.

My son mentioned a conversation he had with me one night in our kitchen, where I was upset and crying. He brought it up in conversation and I acted like I knew what he was talking about, while my mind was spinning trying to remember or figure out what was going on. I did ask him about it later, and he told me that we talked about some issues I was trying to work through. My heart was very sad that this had happened with him. MY mind was spinning, again, because I couldn't remember anything about it.

I do remember that I was listening to a song that was really speaking to my heart, and I was thinking about how I would have changed things if I could have. I remember that, then I remember looking at the clock on my stove and seeing what time it was. Then I remember wiping off the kitchen counters and going to bed. Those are very clear memories to me. But, there is some missing in between time that nothing is there.

Steve: Yes, I'm sitting here in the pdocs office fighting to stay in control of me being out because everyone wants to talk to her, but I'm the most diplomatic...I have barely no clue what happens when we get home from work, other then a few vague snapshots that aren't mine because they don't feel like they come from me. It's quite disturbing and makes me feel nauseated.

I often just try to ignore whats happening in my mind because thoughts can effect a trigger, so I have to stay focused on my present. Since this is Sherri's world being on here (but I'm bored)....it's a trigger too. Bye.

[TrailRunner14]

((( AC2 )))

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

We are very different people, own thoughts, own feelings, own perspectives on everything. There is no such thing as "different versions of me" because we are all so separate.

Awww...how sweet. I watched our whole appointment and he did great. I can even now feel his struggle and fight to be present. It's an empathy thing I guess because I'm quite empathic.

[Luce]

I imagine the perspective is different from every insider's pov. Case in point: I am very much aware of most other parts, and while I accept each as their own selves I also understand that in reality we are all aspects of only one person... or that they are each aspects of one 'me'. But, that is still a very intellectual viewpoint, and it isn't shared by all of the others in here.

Earlier today we were out and about in the world and I was thinking about this thread as I observed that a particular one of us who has not been around for a very long time was out. I was distant from her - only an observer - but I thought of her as an aspect of the greater 'me'. I recognized why she was likely around in the context of current events (we had contact with ex t last night and this particular one often went to therapy) and I wondered in passing what she was getting out of being out today (or alternatively - what WE were getting out of her being out today).

But my point is I did think of her as an aspect of the greater 'me' - but not ME, per se - just the whole-person me, if that makes sense?

But again - perspective. In years gone past SHE was a fronty person and I was delegated to the background, hardly ever to come out. She had no awareness of me and little awareness or thought of much else, even though I knew of her. And she always unequivocally denied that anything other than her very own self was real, even when cold hard evidence was thrown in her face. (No, not by me!)

She was an empty-vessel extreme example, but I can assure you that many other others in here vehemently denied the existence or any form of association with any other part than their very own self.

But me? They are all a part of the greater me, and I own them all!

Long story short - a question for you. Is this sense of me and not-me shared by the others? Do they feel the same way? because if they don't... maybe you are just like ME (the ME me, not the greater me!)

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Sometimes I am in the background semi aware of what another is doing or saying but not my thoughts or words. DP aspect of DID... I suppose. At these times I am so unattached to the event that I often forget it as if observing a passing conversation between strangers. Randomly, I guess when it is nessecary to appear whole, I can suddenly ramble out the whole situation as if I actually was an active participant.i used to have a hard time reconciling that something was off. I would feel compelled to completely own it and stubbornly so, now when these thoughts memories flash blacks whatever occur, I am painfully yet gratefully aware that I am not at all emotionally tied to them. Other times I literally have no recollection of certain spans of time and am dumbfounded when confronted with outsiders very real interactions w/ a completely separate part that may or may not present as our legal name. As far as I know I am the only part that completely identifies myself by our legal name and I am annoyed that other parts call me by a different name when referring to me because as much as some of the more aware may understand that they have to accept the outside world calling them by our legal name, they do not identify with it other than "the body's ssocietal label". Then there are others, most whom rarely leave the inside whom really completely unaware of this form, world, or any existence except their own separate life story. When they do emerge they refuse to believe it or have a very hard time coming to terms with their place/ function. Some are really internal protectors who hold no "name identity" but very formed personal in function. The few records of them manifesting outward are usually in the highest most base instinct form. The only names they obtainable ones they quickly blurt out in defense mode when an outsider confronts them on who they are. Most of the oldest parts, the little ones, identify as whatever persons they best remember identifying with when they where outward parts, if they do come out these days, it is either just to play when they know they can go unnoticed by outsiders or some extreme long forgotten by our present forms triggers them by uncontrolled unconcious force to act outwardly. Recently, I have spent a lot of time on the inside with one of the oldest littlest parts. I greatly enjoyed my time with her and she is very wise and observerant of the intrnal battles power struggles and her personal history of the internal landscape. I learned a lot. The only thing I never learned was her name. She avoided the question for the majority of our time together, and eventually just made clear that she didn't want or care for a name. She apparently had beencalled and rrevered to by so many names over the yrs that she simply no longer had the need for a labeled identity. In past when outward she simply just accepted and responded to whatever she was called, now when she needs to be heard she filters her feelings through me. I am aware but I become her. I become overwhelmed with her fears and can only react not able to filter her broken cryptic childish speach to remain the appearance of a coherent "adult". Oddly tho as troubling as these experiences are, I understand and identify more fully with her than any other parts I have met. I think maybe at my core I have always been her but adapted to pretending to be growing up... tho I've never felt grown up I am a part who is forced to outwardly act grown but never have felt older than a scared 7 yr old.... she last remembers being 5 yrs old.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Gad Damnit! Who the he'll is responsible for these children. Quit your prattling and go to bed! Some of us actually have to function Ina few hrs! And it's gonna be a cap day with the freaking body being kept up AL night Unruly brats!... GOOD NIGHT.

[Luce]

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

Gad Damnit! Who the he'll is responsible for these children. Quit your prattling and go to bed! Some of us actually have to function Ina few hrs! And it's gonna be a cap day with the freaking body being kept up AL night Unruly brats!... GOOD NIGHT.

I hear ya! Last night we were up til 5am with dissociative twaddling! I hope you (plural) managed to get enough sleep.