question

At this time things are going well. I am moving to an apartment closer to my family and that I can afford. I have some nerviousness until the deal is done and my furniture is moved in. But I also have a part that is furious with the good stuff that is happening. I am trying to figure out what is anger is about. Somewhere in there he believes we don't deserve to have a peaceful live. This has been something I have worked with for years. Always reminding myself that we, like anyone else, are deserving of a successful and peaceful life. That it's ok for us to be successful and be in a position of comfort and safety. But just now while thinking about my move and feeling happy about the move, I had a strong flash of rage. Thoughts of smashing things and just having a tantrum like reaction. Writing about it has calmed the feeling but he is still there. He is young and thinks we don't deserve to be happy. But we do. There is an entire life of peace and happiness in the world and we can be a part of it. He is still pretty angry right now. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. He doesn't care for my opinion and wishes he had control.

Congrats on your new apt! Moving, even into a better place, is on the list of what considered "major life stressors" emotions and past feelings can pop up out of nowhere. In all types of group therapies we have been to they talk about being extra mindful and vigilant of symptom increases in any mi during thes times. He is young you said, so angry is a behavior based out of fear. Moving comes with uncertainies. Young ones dont usually have a say and feel like no one cares what they think, so acting out angrily is prob the only way he believes he can get your attention. I think he is trying to tell you he is scared. If you can talk to him at all or other parts he trusts. Ask him why he is so angry about moving maybe and let him know you are scared to but reassure him that about all the good things that not just you but all of you and him in particular will like about your new home. Maybe its closer to stores activies ir something he likes. Maybe you will have more room for a bigger tv or ssounsystem or new gaming console....idk. hope some of that might help.

Thank you for your insight. It seems his major issue is our feelings of happiness for ourselves. When we happiness for friends and family there are no issues. But when we feel happiness for us he thinks we don't deserve it. Maybe he is just afraid he will be disappointed and hurt. Happiness for us is something we don't often allow ourselves to feel because in the past there was always some mean manipulation that went with it. Happiness is always reserved so we don't get hurt. Maybe that is part of it.

Yes. Alot we feel we dont deserve to be happy too.

your thread is called question but I dont see a question... are you asking how to do something, are you asking whether you are doing the right thing... I could go on but only you know what question you were going to ask about...

based on what you posted

I see that you have co consciousness (the ability to know who your alters are, what they are thinking, what they are doing and why.... all those kinds of things that comes with co consciousness)

maybe as you are packing and moving you can think inside or talk inside or aloud saying things like...yes it is scary to move and I know that some of you are thinking we cant be happy. rather than think about happiness how about thinking about how in this new place there will be plenty of room for (an activity that those who think everyone shouldnt be happy, likes to do or has always wanted to do)

my point include them in the process so it doesnt feel like only one or two are making this hard decision to move. make it a family affair where everyone is included, everyone's point of view is considered.

heres a question to think about... in the past when decisions to move had to be made what was the circumstances... one time when I had to move due to circumstances beyond my control it made me angry. at first I thought it was a dissociative thing. but then my treatment provider and I started talking about the move and how unfair it was for management to sell the property and not tell the tenants, just one day get a 30 day notice due to property sale. I realized that anger and child like thoughts\behaviors of wanting to throw a temper tantrum, break things and yell scream and what have you was a completely normal reaction to the situation. my treatment provider told me that its perfectly normal for people to do this when life changes out of our control happen. depression and anger are very high on the list of feelings people normally do have when facing something like having to move.

now that I know in non dissociative \normal situations sometimes moving does naturally cause a person to feel angry... my opinion is so why not the same for dissociative people right,

my point is maybe this feeling you are having is completely normal given the situation.

my suggestion if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers. they will be able to help you release these anger feeling regardless of what the root cause is.

Yes I have co consciousness. My system isn't set up in the way you suggest. We have ones who know what is best for us and make the big decisions. Some don't always agree but we trust the ones in the world to make decisions in the best interest of the body and us. I think the issue is more about feeling happy and that feeling of happy triggered one of my young ones who holds a lot of anger. So why would feeling happy be a trigger for anger. I think it's because happiness was not something we often felt. And most supposed happy events like birthdays and holidays would be turned into violent mean hurtful events. So I actually feel that feeling happiness is something some of us associate with something bad. Something that will lead to danger. It has helped me to put this in a post. It's helped us to try to see if there is logic to my parts anger. And there is. And it's ok if he feels that way. We now just need to talk more and help him through the move and me feeling happy.