All alone one of my kind

It doesn't end: the raised eyebrows; the giggles; the pointing; the whispers; the glances; the avoidance; the snickering; the oddness; the rejection; the outloud ridicule; the teasing; the laughter; the contempt; the laughing;...

I wish it would just end, but They won't let it.

Why must we endure such torture for the amusement of others?

I try so hard to act body but yet laughed at, so I try being myself but yet laughed at.

Here I/we sit in utter silence and lonliness destined to live this way isolated by social and personal direction.

Why?

Is it better to say I'm a multiple and be crushed for that or to just fade and vanish like anyone cared in the first place?

I went and ate a half pint of Butterfinger ice cream smothered in strawberry preserves with a bag of chocalate peanut clusters.

I feel better.

Back on diet tomorrow!

Self care can come in many forms.
Do you have a trans community where you are, AC?

Just a heads up even normal people get pointed at, giggled at and what have you. its just part of being human to notice others around us and find things to point at, giggle and what have you. maybe the next time it happens you can do what normal people do..act like its not happening and continuing on with your life or walk over to them and ask whats so funny. who knows maybe they arent laughing pointing and giggling directly related to you but about somethings just to the side or what have you.

Yes, but I'm scared to go visit because they are humans also. I've turned into a recluse.m

Yes its true, but the oddity of our system isn't like any other normal person. There is stuff that I have no control over which embarasses me or puts me in shame. We're terribly hyper-sensitive, I can cry at a glance, or wince over a mild comment that feels so targeted. I dont know why, but it's true.

nobody talks to me either. Only go out if have to go to the store or to Dr. Appts. Even our own blood relatives never talk to me. They talk around, spread rumors, and lies..never ask to my face. i get panicked everywhere cuz i see ppl busy talking and llaughin budy going to from work friends dinners events. They look happy and healthy. I know they got their own probs too, but someone in here used to know how to function at least a little.. i have memories of then, but it wasnt me who knew how to just get and do whatever, or how to be around other ppl and pretend to ne like them. I know it wasnt me cuz, i never knew how to do any of that.... I look at papers and files from long ago and leases and paychecks and bankstatements and term paper all marked A and pictures of parties and friends smiling and laughing and i know i have seen them before, but none of it is mine. I dont understand any of it. And the fact that we are all seeming nonfunctional now, i know is my fault.. cuz i am always sad and scared and crying... Now instead of functioning they spend all their time and energy just trying to keep me from dragging us idk where... but its my fault. I understand how you feel, M.

You are so silly. That made you feel better? No way I could eat those together.

It's not your fault. You can't blame yourself for feeling your feelings.

Hello AlwaysChanging2: As I have written in SO MANY previous replies to any number of Threads, here on PC, except for the fact that I'm married (my wife's accomplishment... not mine...) I'm pretty-much entirely solitary... by choice. I have no other family. And I have no friends or even acquaintances. I simply keep to myself. When I go out to walk the dog, I wear hats with large brims. I keep them pulled down low enough that I shield my eyes from those of others. There's much less likelihood that they'll speak to me that way.

A large part of the reason I have come to this is that I simply have never encountered anyone who, to my knowledge, shared my struggles... that tangled web of trangenderedness & mental illness that has turned my life into such a twisted mess. When I was younger, I wanted to stand out... to be noticed, to be involved with life & living. Now I simply want to pass through life unnoticed, unacknowledged. I like to imagine that, even now, no one even really knows I exist. When I am gone... I will simply vanish without a trace... & that's okay...

Hello. In my opinione/expereince once a person knows he/she is expereincing DID he/she is one up on everyone else. -BECAUSE he/she actually knows he/she is different and has some issues. MOST PEOPLE DONT EVEN KNOW THAT THEY FREQENTLY SAY OR DO STUPID THINGS THAT IRRITATE OR SURPRISE OTHER PEOPLE, OR WORSE-- THEY GO AROUND PUTTING ON A FACE SO THAT WE NEVER GET TO KNOW THEM. ASk youself when you feel down on who you are and what you are going through with your condition: Who here is being more real and honest?

Be kinder to yourself. God knows, if you arent kind to yourself no one else will be. Laugh when they laugh and then let it all go. You can put yourself above all that ----.
Okay?

This totally describes me. I don't know what happened to the me that could socialise, but me now can't function in society at all

Hello everyone, I have been DID for over 50 years. I have had good periods of life and bad. I have isolated, I have been in the mix, I had to I had kids. I had a therapist help me get a grip on my cast of many (15) we shared morning meetings, coloring time for the younger ones, I did age appropriate things with them. I built a challenging room for them to all have space to hang out in. It may sound crazy like it did for me. But it worked, I listened to the and what their needs were, and who they were. It is all about balance. You will once again face the world.