I knew but...you know?

I was diagnosed today with DID. I knew...well actually, we thought it would have fallen into the OSDD (the old DDNOS) at this point in our life, but there's been a few things that have occurred recently and in my therapists office that have given me pause. So anyway...today I got dx'd. But I've known for decades. So why does this feel so significant?

Anyway, just doing some sitting with you all.

Wow, congratulations! I genuinely mean that, as I would love for my T to say those words but he's not allowed to diagnose Is it a relief to finally hear someone else say it?

It can be hard when it is made 'official'. Some of us felt like "dang. That means the **** is real."

i undrstand.
my whole life i knew in a lot of ways. i just didnt know what it was called. i knew i was so different from my friends. i knew something was really wrong with me. it was a relief to get a name for it in my 20s

Only for the sake of trusting, what one person told me my first therapist. Speaking of my 2nd dx and also the fact that I didn't have to go read about something else if she was wrong. Also, all the research I read it wasn't all for naught... The only best reason it was significant was due to how 'scandal', (only specific to this system, that i know of) part of it was enough to move my weight around when it comes to employment and school etc. Kind of like a therapy program employment ......It was imperative, I get worry though due to issues like foster care, life insurance, car insurance, medical aspect of sharing psychological, carrying a child for someone, and any other aspect where stigma still stands.

Hi yagr,
Dissociation is a coping mechanism which is meant to keep us safe, as you know. When the dissociation, or the degree of dissociation, is recognized by someone else, it can feel a bit "threatening" to the system. The whole idea behind the system is to stay safe (and, often, to not be detected).

It can feel like "the cat is out of the bag." It can also feel very vulnerable.

It's possible you'd wanted your therapist to know, on some level, and you showed her some of the signs which would cause her to consider whether or not you live with DID.

It's not unusual to wonder what the ramifications might be for sharing, as the "inner code" has been an allegiance to safety and to secrecy, ultimate self-protection.

I think it's "normal" to feel "unsettled" to varying degrees once someone else is aware of our innermost "secrets."

At the same time, I feel you will likely be happier and feel more freedom in your life as you process more, letting go of "old defenses" and their associated limitations.

This is really just my own humble opinion. I hope something I have written helps in some small way.

I truly admire your ability to be open and vulnerable.

Take excellent care!
WC

You know, it feels good to be validated. Now the healing can begin...congratz.

Hey welcome to the DID world. Its interesting and sometimes it's a pain in neck when everyone wants to talk at the same time.