questions: dissociative disorders version

Oh Yagr!! Both of those pictures/places are beautiful and call to me. If I had to choose between the two it would be hard to do!! I would love to live somewhere like that!

I can swim well enough to keep myself above the water. It's not something I look forward to doing. I would rather lay in the sun beside the water. It's especially nice on the beach to enjoy the breeze off of the water.

Luce your trip sounds like so much fun. Wish I could go somewhere like that too! The water slide and slack rope sound fun too! Me, going down the slide holding my nose. . I've never done a slackrope but it sounds fun.

Please don't be embarrassed Luce. There is never shame in having childlike fun.

I don't think my parts embarrass each other. Well. The part of me that talks unfiltered sometimes, well most usually embarrasses me, after the fact. It would be nice to figure out a way to reign that one in. It just wants to be heard.

Are you a more inside (indoors) or outside (nature lover) kind of person?

Yup, yup, yup.

Aw, thank you! Lost internet for a spell and then just too exhausted to log on and when I do, it seems all I can do is read. Better today.

Very rarely - though when we do it is almost always on purpose in a playful way. Sonseearae was at my work on Friday almost exclusively. I was beyond exhausted and ended up taking almost the whole day off. She is friends with the office manager and, while she talks to her, does so privately - not in front of my co-workers. Sonseearae took a departure from this pattern on Friday and spent the whole day publicly 'out'. 'Out' included traveling through the offices via bunny hop as the desire struck.

So, certainly something that could be called an embarrassing moment (or twelve), but really...I'm not. When my daughter walked out of the lunchroom with carrot sticks sticking out of each nostril and both ears in first grade, I laughed till I had tears running down my face. It was hilarious - not to mention creative. I don't know...maybe this isn't the best example...how about this: love doesn't embarrass. Yeah - that. And I love Sonseearae.

Thanks TR! It seems I jumped over you but I had started the response to Luce and then got called away to watch Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium and just got back to finish - not seeing that you had responded in the meantime.

Yeah! You tell her!!

Hmm...I like both. I love the outdoors but prefer solitude and so, outside if we're alone or with trusted peoples and inside if not.

Okay, lessee...question time...

Have you ever (or do you have plans in the future to) built a treehouse?

Oh my gooodness!! I love trees!! The different kinds of leaves, trunks and bark. I love their smell and feel at peace among them. That is why I love my trail so much. Right now I am loving the white birch trunks. They are beautiful among the winter grayness.

I've always been a tree climber. I haven't climbed one in quite a while but the memory makes me happy.

I've never had a tree house but it has been a desire and dream of mine. It would be amazing to have a place to be me among the things that give me peace.

Are you a tree climber?

Like you, I have always been a tree climber but haven't climbed one in a while - the mind is willing but the body... I do love trees too - you may have seen a recent post in which Sonseearae described her safe place - a huge tree guards the space.

And while we're on the whole tree subject, here's a little tidbit you might find interesting. I am going to build my family a home and should be breaking ground within two years. It starts with a traditional native American home design called a semi-subterranean pit house. Here's a pic:

Gosh, hoped that worked... anyway, if it didn't then I'll be back to fix it.

Our family home will be significantly larger (nearly 2000 square feet) as well as heavily modified. The dimensions are a fifty foot diameter with a 28 degree slope on the roof. The round walls will be eight feet high but with a twenty-five foot radius the center will be twenty-two feet high. This will allow for a twelve foot diameter central, circular loft with plenty of headroom. But here's the reason I was telling you all of this:

I'm building a second floor under the first with a winding staircase that hugs the round walls - but downstairs will be a different world. I have a degree in physics and optics is a specialty. I'm using modified fiber optic cable to light the downstairs. There are three different types of fiber optic cable and one of them transmits blue light (which is necessary for growing plant life) with no degradation in the signal. I am going to flood the downstairs with natural sunlight via the fiber optics and build a garden inside - fourteen feet below the surface. Grass, flowers, a pond, and yes, trees...dogwoods and other flowering and pretty trees that won't exceed (particularly with pruning techniques) the eight foot ceiling.

Do you have a favorite constellation?

Oh my goodness again!!

That sounds like the most amazing home I could think of.

I can't remember the exact question, but I remember what my response would have been.

I would love to have a greenhouse as big as my home and be able to live in it. That would be amazing to me and it sounds like what you are describing. In a way.

Do you have American Indian in your bloodline?

Yes. I am a Navajo descendant and my wife is a registered Spokane. My people traditionally follow matriarchal bloodlines with marriage so I am Spokane, through marriage not blood.

My great, great grand was an Indian princess. Choctaw Indian. It may sound "out there" but I feel that in me very strongly.

I can't really explain how, I just do.

Do you feel the "roots" of who are above what you have experienced in life?

Don't know how to explain that question other than what it is.

Hope that's ok.

Hehe, cool. my grandfather was a maori chief.

But I don't have any roots. I am a mammal, not a plant.
Boom tish!

We don't connect to any family. We do not consider ourselves a part of any clan. We do not want to belong to anyone.

We are very triggered right now, and very switcheroonie. Que sera sera....

What will be?

Your house sounds amazing yagr!

Luce. What would be your favorite place?

Yes, I most certainly do. I speak my native language, although interestingly, especially considering the forum we are on, I did not know my native language until I was twenty-seven years old - and then instantly. Sonseearae knew it and I didn't, but when we became co-conscious she shared all the memories and knowledge she held - including how to speak our language. My father denies ever speaking it in front of us and we lived thousands of miles from our ancestral lands and I hadn't ever visited them until after she and I 'met'. So how did she know it? She says, "Cause I do" and that works for me.

Beyond language, yes the culture is deeply embedded. I wrote a book/story and posted it here in the Creative Corner. It is called, The Master Apprentice, and the last two thirds of the book take place in a native village and a good deal of our spirituality is shared through that book.

Very cool!



Perhaps belonging to everyone and everyone belonging to you? The world as simply more parts of a greater 'us'.
We have been very switcheroonie all day too. Angel keeps trying to lift his head but can't seem to find purchase. He starts posts and I've been helping him finish them.

I don't know where my favorite place would be right now I don't want to 'be' anywhere. maybe sitting next to ex t. just today our other did friend visited our ex t (its her ex t too) and they sent me a picture of them sitting together. I felt sadhappy to see them together.

Up until the age of six the young child 'absorbs' language from the environment without effort. If a child is exposed to a language repeatedly, she will learn it. It does not need to be taught. The human infant is hardwired with the ability to 'download' language from the environment, if you will.
Sonseearae would have learned your native language as effortlessly and unconsciously as a toddler in Japan learns Japanese, or a young child in England learns English. What is more noteworthy is the dissociation that kept this language from your awareness for 27 years, and how it became accessible to you once you developed co-consciousness.
That, my friend, is quite remarkable.

i have no idea what question we're meant to be answering, so i'll just ask a new one..

is psychcentral the only forum you use?, or are you a member of another support site

yeah we use others but none of them as much as this

what time is bedtime

It varies, I prefer later bedtimes often but then Papa Bear is more likely to be woken up (however quiet I am downstairs)

Do you like bears?

I'm a member of a couple of others, I rarely post there though (one is a U.K. . Based site)

I do like bears. I like the image of a protective mamma bear and of course a teddy bear. One fiercely protective of the little one she loves and the other snuggly and the giver of comfort.

Now in actuality, if I happened to bump into one in real life I'm sure the zip line would take me out of there and someone else would have to deal with it.

What is your favorite color and why?

I like blue. because I like being deep under water.

How much time do you spend with your T/Ts each week? Would you like more or less time in therapy?

Usually we have 1hr a week of therapy. Sometimes feels like not nearly enough..like only get thru talking about the week and it's over..never progress...other times when we don't wanna be there it seems unbearably long and boring. :P

Do you know what animal is in rotation for the 2017 Chinese New Year?

I truly wish sometimes that I could talk with my counselor everyday. I meet with him once a week. I know that my hardest things are accomplished with me and my journal and prayer. If I met with him more often, it would handicap me. That is my thought.

My counselor helps me more than I can put into words, sort out what I've realized or gotten stuck in. I am very thankful.

I really don't know what an animal for 2017 is. Is that like astrology stuff or the horoscope? Forgive me. I don't understand.

What is the color of "hot" to you?

The color of hot? in my mind is blue, but I don't know why.
Oh yes. Blue flame.

We also have one hour a week and wouldn't want more. We used to have two 1.5 hour sessions with ex T and we needed it then, we were very unstable. We are much more functional now, generally speaking.

Does your T allow contact between sessions? Can you call? Txt? Email?

oh yes.

for sure
do you struggle on new year's eve?