don't feel like talking

my son assaulted me on friday and i don't want to talk to my t about it. she knows about it because i called her but i don't want to go to session because i feel fear about talking about what happened. I don't know why?

It's okay if you're not ready to talk about it. Can you tell your T that? Would she respect that need for you right now?

And another thought... maybe it is just too raw and too real still. Or maybe it is too real for others in you... maybe you are trying to be comfortably numb about it, and need to keep the fear at bay...
So many maybes. Whatever happens, I hope you are able to do what is most right for you at that time.

i texted my t and at first she thought i should come in and process it. I explained my reasons for not wanting to talk about it and she said she understood and that it was ok she would see me next week. Thanks for taking the time to respond to my post.

I can understand how you are feeling and it's not a comfortable place to be. I'm sorry you are in that spot.

There have been times that I have talked with my counselor about things that were not "ready" to be talked about. There was a part of me pushing to tell it. I did share it with him and it affected me in bad way. Now, I listen until all of me is in agreement before I open something up.

She knows from your text what happened and I hope that she will respect your feelings of wanting to wait, if you aren't ready to talk about it.

I'll be thinking of you.

I tend to internalize things to bury and find it difficult to go through the difficult effort of rehashing the event and the feelings associated with it....once was enough.

It's just our M.O. If and when we do bring things up to talk about, the guys get all offendedly disgusted and feel like we are being too whiney to not just "deal with it" and move on...."always got to talk about it" they say (feelings of demasculinization) ....so we are more inflicted by internal abuse more then outer.