[UglyDucky]

I've been having a hard time recently dissociating during therapy. I dissociate even when I'm looking at T when they're talking. Can't seem to hear anything. Last appt., T asked, "Have you noticed that you don't dissociate when YOU talk?"

Duh. No. I didn't know one can dissociate when they talk. If that happens, what does that look like? Does one just stop talking? Or what...? I told T that I think I dissociated when they talk bc I don't want to hear what they were saying or was afraid of what they were going to say.

I'm not DID (or T hasn't mentioned that possibility). So, strictly from a dissociation standpoint, can anyone help me understand dissociation when I talk? What might go through my mind? What signs would show up? I think I have dissociated a time or two when I was talking, but T missed it. I recall talking about something and suddenly I say something that makes me think, "Where did that come from?"

Any help on this topic would be greatly appreciated. T and I are having a rough time talking about anything at all bc I have to keep asking, "Would you repeat that?" or "Excuse me?".

i dissociate all the time when talking.
there are a bunch of us inside, and switch a lot, and often finish each others sentences or when one finishes a sentence it might remind someone else of something and so then they will start talking about that thing, which reminds someone of something else. or maybe we all have different opinions on the same thing, so we switch while talking to all give our opinions. or to respond to each other.it sounds lik free association maybe, just woth different voices.
for instance:
#1 i might say i like a beautiful flower i just saw.
#2 says i like it too
#3 says i dont really like that color. i like flowers that are purple.
#4 says: you like anything thats purple
#5 well its my favorite color
#1 says Can i just finished my sentence?
#3 i thought you were finished
#2 what were we talking about?
etc etc

[amandalouise]

I have and sometimes still do dissociate when talking with my therapist and other treatment providers... to understand this you need to understand what dissociation is here where I live...

here where i live dissociation is the normal reaction (feeling numb, spaced out, disconnected...) to anything triggering (anything that causes me to feel uncomfortable or upset)

example when ever my treatment provider and I talk about hurricane sandy (a triggering time and event in my life) I start to feel numb, emotionless, spaced out, like I am sinking. I feel no connection to my body nor anything in the room. the technical term for this is depersonalization/ derealization symptoms (in other words dissociation symptoms and dissociative problems here where I am.)

my suggestion is check with your treatment provider on what dissociation means where you are (many locations have different definitions of what is dissociation) it may be that your treatment providers definition of dissociation is different than your's so she may not be considering how and what happens to you as dissociation.

another suggestion.... when you notice you are dissociating maybe you can let your treatment provider know its happening.

[kecanoe]

I have DID, so your experience may be very different than mine.

I dissociate when I am talking. Sometimes I stop talking in mid sentence, sometimes my voice/vocabulary changes, sometimes my mood changes. H and t1 know me well enough to usually know who is talking.

I always used to think I never did it during therapy.

that was, of course, until they told me.. well, well, i've met 9 of atlantis, I can't wait to speak to the others and meet them too

so yeah I guess I do do it

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I have and sometimes still do dissociate when talking with my therapist and other treatment providers... to understand this you need to understand what dissociation is here where I live...

here where i live dissociation is the normal reaction (feeling numb, spaced out, disconnected...) to anything triggering (anything that causes me to feel uncomfortable or upset)

example when ever my treatment provider and I talk about hurricane sandy (a triggering time and event in my life) I start to feel numb, emotionless, spaced out, like I am sinking. I feel no connection to my body nor anything in the room. the technical term for this is depersonalization/ derealization symptoms (in other words dissociation symptoms and dissociative problems here where I am.)

my suggestion is check with your treatment provider on what dissociation means where you are (many locations have different definitions of what is dissociation) it may be that your treatment providers definition of dissociation is different than your's so she may not be considering how and what happens to you as dissociation.

another suggestion.... when you notice you are dissociating maybe you can let your treatment provider know its happening.

I'm in the USA and having worked in the mental health profession, myself, I understand what you've been posting re: how dissociation is diagnosed and the DSM categories, etc. Thanks for providing the information. Re: letting my T know when I'm dissociating, I don't know when it's happening; I'm out of touch before I can tell T. I was professionally tested in 2015 by another PhD psychologist. Neither he nor my T could figure out why some of my testing came out as it did. Now, my T explains that I dissociate for brief periods - sometimes only seconds. Dissociation was not considered during testing - that psychologist didn't notice when I checked out...and neither did I.

What I'm doing is more disturbing to me than my T, I think. Your description: "I feel no connection to my body nor anything in the room. the technical term for this is depersonalization/ derealization symptoms (in other words dissociation symptoms and dissociative problems here where I am.)" sounds like what I experience. However, the question remains, what would it look like to my T if I dissociated while I was talking? It seems to me that if I dissociated when I was talking, I would just stop talking or speech would gradually fade out. I'm stumped on my T's question...

[elevatedsoul]

for me she said i look dazed, in a trance, looking at nothing and spaced out, sounding different and talking in a way that disconects me from the body, explaining things in a weird way

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by UglyDucky

I'm in the USA and having worked in the mental health profession, myself, I understand what you've been posting re: how dissociation is diagnosed and the DSM categories, etc. Thanks for providing the information. Re: letting my T know when I'm dissociating, I don't know when it's happening; I'm out of touch before I can tell T. I was professionally tested in 2015 by another PhD psychologist. Neither he nor my T could figure out why some of my testing came out as it did. Now, my T explains that I dissociate for brief periods - sometimes only seconds. Dissociation was not considered during testing - that psychologist didn't notice when I checked out...and neither did I.

What I'm doing is more disturbing to me than my T, I think. Your description: "I feel no connection to my body nor anything in the room. the technical term for this is depersonalization/ derealization symptoms (in other words dissociation symptoms and dissociative problems here where I am.)" sounds like what I experience. However, the question remains, what would it look like to my T if I dissociated while I was talking? It seems to me that if I dissociated when I was talking, I would just stop talking or speech would gradually fade out. I'm stumped on my T's question...

thank you. I am glad my diagnostics, testing and other dissociative information has been helpful to you.

what does it look like? my treatment provider has told me that I get this far away look in my eyes. the look of high concentration and not focusing outward look. you know how when you are talking with a relative or friend and they are telling you about their exciting adventure, sports event or what ever and they are more focused on what they are telling you and that look as if they are reliving that event/ exciting time, ... in some people they get this far away look in their eyes. thats what happens to me.

other people I know their face goes from fully animated/ showing expressions to not showing any emotions a lack of affect.

some people i know blink excessively, others I know dont blink at all or very little.

some people look to the left, some look to the right, some stare straight ahead....

other people I know their posture changes, voice changes....

these are all long term things.... a person doesnt just start one day doing some or all these things in therapy. I have been with my treatment providers for a long time so they know me and how I am, they know the subtle differences in me that they have learned about me over a long period of time.

there are many different ways a person looks when they are dissociated its individualized to that person, and many different ways treatment providers can tell when one is dissociated...

you have been in the mental profession ok start there if that was working with clients think back to when you were working with your clients and how you knew how they were feeling even when they did not vocalize how they were feeling, how did you know when they were happy, sad, dissociated, excited, angry, all that stuff...

my point is a person who is dissociated doesnt always look a certain way sometimes it is barely notice able except to the trained eye.

my suggestion is if this continues to bother you ask your treatment provider how they can tell when you are dissociated when you cant tell yourself. they will be able to explain to you what the subtle symptoms they are picking up on are.

[dlantern]

I got the DID dx, I look for this kind of like the second poster making sure that the disruptions and discontinuity in a conversation don't happen. I share this from an alter level. If alters are I called it amen corner then it like a revolving we are associating to the conversation listening but also input so that they know we are with them.

If you read dissociation and how everyone wonders especially while driving that should clear it up some.

If you are talking in therapy on one topic say for instance baseball it should be about all things baseball. I'm assuming the poster is not diagnosed but just wants to know what is dissociation. It should be about(connects) when you played, what it was like, what was the teams about etc, I don't think you need to remember everything.

If you start to get sense of self problems in your environment that indicates any plurality happening then you it will show itself soon enough. That would be indicative of disordered dissociation into derealization depersonalization etc ptsd the spectrum, until an alter can show itself for what it takes where you attend for the diagnoses if that is what you are requiring.

[dlantern]

I think what helps is slowing down only if you got the diagnoses already choosing words wisely. Also being gentle with ourselves when you actually do run into a disconnects and can't find anything to say. Sometimes alters are still in conversation from the waiting room on the way to session some from several years ago trying to get those in the inner world open and constantly worked out psychologically speaking. Previous sessions just in case you don't want to be redundant stop that you don't need to share can be alters dissociating. Some alters get psychotic and there is no help for them it like a maze to getting to some will get them talking and out of tail spin but that is some of most intricate of knowledge. It can be quite the suspect detective video game to figure what our worlds consist of what we are doing and what are we contributing to society when we actually have folks in our life. The ultimately goal what all can we get to get to the memories, our truth just as long as there is balance which can be a problem for some systems once you program yourselves to this some of it no choice.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by dlantern

I got the DID dx, I look for this kind of like the second poster making sure that the disruptions and discontinuity in a conversation don't happen. I share this from an alter level. If alters are I called it amen corner then it like a revolving we are associating to the conversation listening but also input so that they know we are with them.

If you read dissociation and how everyone wonders especially while driving that should clear it up some.

If you are talking in therapy on one topic say for instance baseball it should be about all things baseball. I'm assuming the poster is not diagnosed but just wants to know what is dissociation. It should be about(connects) when you played, what it was like, what was the teams about etc, I don't think you need to remember everything.

If you start to get sense of self problems in your environment that indicates any plurality happening then you it will show itself soon enough. That would be indicative of disordered dissociation into derealization depersonalization etc ptsd the spectrum, until an alter can show itself for what it takes where you attend for the diagnoses if that is what you are requiring.

Thanks, dlantern~~You are correct that dissociation was not part of my diagnosis when I was tested. However, my T is noticing it now, so I'm assuming part of my dx has changed. I know when I've dissociated when T talks to me - I don't know what was said and have to ask them to repeat. Apparently, though, I don't or haven't dissociated when I talk. Maybe T and I haven't gone far enough to know if I'm DID (approx 24 months of therapy). I have repressed the first 12 years of my life re: my mother. I recall Dad and my brother as a toddler, but any memories of Mom are missing. Guess we'll see what happens and we go...

[TheDragon]

Originally Posted by UglyDucky

Thanks, dlantern~~You are correct that dissociation was not part of my diagnosis when I was tested. However, my T is noticing it now, so I'm assuming part of my dx has changed. I know when I've dissociated when T talks to me - I don't know what was said and have to ask them to repeat. Apparently, though, I don't or haven't dissociated when I talk. Maybe T and I haven't gone far enough to know if I'm DID (approx 24 months of therapy). I have repressed the first 12 years of my life re: my mother. I recall Dad and my brother as a toddler, but any memories of Mom are missing. Guess we'll see what happens and we go...

If you're missing chunks of memory that's quite often an indicator of some form of dissociative disorder.

I'm always super dissociated and depersonalized and just plain out of it in therapy. Partially because it's a nerve-wracking experience for me and I don't want to be there, but it's also because I'm trying to let myself be relaxed enough that I can just try to talk naturally and others can come out if necessary.

When I'm so bad that I'm just blanking out, sometimes the T stops me and gets me to do some grounding exercises. Maybe when you or your T notice that you're really far gone you can stop for a minute just to quickly ground yourself before you keep going?

The other thing that might help is to have something physical with you that you can fiddle with to try to keep you a bit more present in your body, or a drink that's flavoured and/or fizzy.

My T and I have also set up a system where when I'm totally unresponsive she calls my phone and that usually snaps me out of being out of it because I have a reflex to answer the phone from previous jobs. Is there something like that for you that you could use?