[L.P.]

Anyone else ever do that? Wonder if something you did was you or someone else?

I did some things a week or two ago and I wasn't in a real great head space at the time. It did not occur to me while all that was happening that I might not have been me or entirely me or whatever. Now looking back I am seeing a pattern in my behavior that is making me wonder if perhaps I was not alone in my head or in control of all that. I asked around inside, left a few notes around asking as well... so far no one else seems to know either. It just has me wondering since it starts with the same internal screaming and progresses to the same actions every time and then goes back to the same 'decompress' thoughts and actions. I dunno if its me stuck in a weird 'loop' that is very out of character for me normally or if it's someone else. Usually I am well aware of it when someone else is 'riding shotgun' with me, but this one has me stumped. I plan to keep checking around within my system and all, but figured since this was on my mind, I'd ask to see if anyone else can relate. Identity confusion... it's a weird thing.

V

[Gr3tta_0]

Usually if it wasn't me i don't remember. If i find out later, i still don't remember it as me.
I might not know who else it was, but i usually know whether or not its me.
Maybe you behaved unusually due to other issues that had you ..." not in a great headspace. "
I hope you feel okay about whatever happened.

[finding_my_way]

yeah. we have variations of how things are. if it is just me and others aren't around (closer to the surface i mean), i can remember things better and more clearly. if one of them is around, depending on how much their thoughts/feelings influence things, it could be more them doing things. sometimes it is like i am here 1% and they take up the other 99%, so i am always around at least a little bit, but the memories/details of things around those times gets more difficult to recall. i can remember in the moment writing things, but as time goes on the memory of it can get more distant hours or days later, etc.

i don't always know who is around, what is my doing and what isn't, etc. even if i feel one of them around...but i guess it just differs a lot in general.

[Solnutty]

That happens to me all the time. Sometimes I can get someone to tell me who it is, sometimes I can just tell who, other times I simply have no idea. Sometimes I don't realize it until after it happens. Like, I see and hear and follow along, but I can't think or judge what I'm doing at all. Later I'll recognize that was not me, but I may not know who.

[Solnutty]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

yeah. we have variations of how things are. if it is just me and others aren't around (closer to the surface i mean), i can remember things better and more clearly. if one of them is around, depending on how much their thoughts/feelings influence things, it could be more them doing things. sometimes it is like i am here 1% and they take up the other 99%, so i am always around at least a little bit, but the memories/details of things around those times gets more difficult to recall. i can remember in the moment writing things, but as time goes on the memory of it can get more distant hours or days later, etc.

i don't always know who is around, what is my doing and what isn't, etc. even if i feel one of them around...but i guess it just differs a lot in general.

I totally relate to this.

This is what makes this so faky feeling.

We remember things (events) if it has a big impact to the system...like it matters to all of us...we just know it's important.

But to remember what an Other said or did is very hard if at all possible. Like it would only be a distant fragment of a memory that feels like it is someone elses. It also feels sickening like I was invading their space or boundaries....makes me nauseas.