Just as title says.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Just as title says.

in my location and culture integration isnt like you see in the movies (you know like that Sybil scene where she is hypnotized, or that death scene in three faces of Eve, the off to the hospital to get integrated final scene of US of Tara)

for me it was just the natural healing process. As i learned to take care of my own problems and self my alters were no longer needed as separate identities to do those things for me. the result we just naturally became one whole person...

example...

Rainy was my alter that would take control any time I dissociated due to storms. how that would happen is I would be in control and not dissociated, then a storm would happen. this would cause me to feel scared/ panicky then those feelings would go away as I started having my dissociation symptoms of feeling numb, spaced out and disconnected. Then rainy would be in control dealing with the problem that caused me to dissociate... the storm by getting us to safety if we were out in the elements, changed into dry warm clothing, a blanket and find a quiet place to cry and wait out the storm. then when I was no longer triggered by the storm (no longer dissociated) I was back in control.

As I became more stable and able to handle my own problems I no longer dissociated...

when a storm was coming I would use my grounding and self nurturing techniques (breath, look for shelter, get dry and find a comfortable place to wait out the storm, maybe even a cup of coffee and a nice warm meal)

because I was no longer dissociating Rainy was not taking control, she knew by how I was feeling and what I was doing that I was doing everything needed.

well this went on for a bit where I was co conscious a bit with Rainy and both of us knew I was able to take care of the body and mind...then during one storm I realized I could remember why storms bothered me, I could remember those feelings, I could do everything that Rainy did, I was now everything that rainy was, we were now one whole person again.

this natural integration happened with all my alters and I. we never did anything like you see in the movies where they are forcing the alters to integrate..

I did though at one time research those ways of using ECT hypnosis and such you see in movies turned out those things in movies usually only caused more harm then good (which is probably why here where I am and all the treatment providers I have had never used those things for integrating alters since the 1950-60's, they still use those therapy techniques but for other things like depression, and other mental disorders.)

[L.P.]

I don't think that is possible for me, at least. For some of us the very idea of integrating is really disturbing. I think trying to force such a thing would cause serious problems for us as a whole. Never have tried, but I don't think I could manage to force that on someone who does not want it. I wouldn't want to try to force someone to do that if they were not on board with it.

The best we have found to do is something we kinda fell backwards into on accident. Some of us have had these kinda aha moments where we realized we have a lot in common and almost seem to be the same person, and then we end up meshing together as we spend more and more time together. While things like that aren't forced exactly, we get this feel that we will end up becoming one before it happens, we don't know when, but we know it's inevitable... and it's not scary or disturbing to us who have those aha moments. It makes sense to us because we know we are the same person anyway and going to be a more complete me once we are one together. Really I wish more of us would just mesh up.. the ones on board with integrating, anyhow. It would make life a lot easier in a lot of ways. I say that, but then I kinda freak out when I have to live an entire day on my own... 24 hours feels like an eternity to me when I am flying solo. I have no idea how people deal with all that frickin time every frickin day... oy. I'm a big ole contradiction a lot of the times.

Originally Posted by L.P.

I don't think that is possible for me, at least. For some of us the very idea of integrating is really disturbing. I think trying to force such a thing would cause serious problems for us as a whole. Never have tried, but I don't think I could manage to force that on someone who does not want it. I wouldn't want to try to force someone to do that if they were not on board with it.

The best we have found to do is something we kinda fell backwards into on accident. Some of us have had these kinda aha moments where we realized we have a lot in common and almost seem to be the same person, and then we end up meshing together as we spend more and more time together. While things like that aren't forced exactly, we get this feel that we will end up becoming one before it happens, we don't know when, but we know it's inevitable... and it's not scary or disturbing to us who have those aha moments. It makes sense to us because we know we are the same person anyway and going to be a more complete me once we are one together. Really I wish more of us would just mesh up.. the ones on board with integrating, anyhow. It would make life a lot easier in a lot of ways. I say that, but then I kinda freak out when I have to live an entire day on my own... 24 hours feels like an eternity to me when I am flying solo. I have no idea how people deal with all that frickin time every frickin day... oy. I'm a big ole contradiction a lot of the times.

I do have those aha moments....but they are forgotten as soon as aha'd them that I don't know if it does any good which sounds just like what Amanda said about natural integration....

None of us stick around long enough to deal and learn...and who is suppose to be doing the learning? That's our biggest dilemma...who?

In a way I see it like a mess of soap bubbles floating on water surface, like when taking a buble bath or doing dishes....one's next to each other join forming a bigger bubble and so on until you have one big bubble, naturally. I'm not a seeing this happening in our mind.

[Gr3tta_0]

Do you want to "force integration?" Why?
(this is a friendly question, i don't mean it to sound aggressive or judgy)

Originally Posted by Gr3tta_0

Do you want to "force integration?" Why?
(this is a friendly question, i don't mean it to sound aggressive or judgy)

No problem. Dunno. Just because.

[krazy_phoenix]

We have managed one integration, but we're not fully aware of how it happened. It didn't happen in therapy (as in, not in session). However, we all recognise that her purpose had been 'absorbed'. It's funny...we personally thought we would miss any energies that left/integrated/etc but we don't. It's kinda like a friend that we outgrew.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by krazy_phoenix

We have managed one integration, but we're not fully aware of how it happened. It didn't happen in therapy (as in, not in session). However, we all recognise that her purpose had been 'absorbed'. It's funny...we personally thought we would miss any energies that left/integrated/etc but we don't. It's kinda like a friend that we outgrew.

yes thats exactly what its like no big sha-bang. just a knowing that everything is still there absorbed and able to be accessed and no worries, no missing that alter because we are beyond / healed / healing /or in your words "outgrew" that alter as a separate being.

I can make them or ride them threw.

It all depends on lifeness...

I can be whatever you want...desire....life...it just takes a system wide one wish....

I'm a partier from Hell...have a drink on me.

[TrailRunner14]

If I may share my experience with my other parts of me........

When they have come to me, I meet them with anxiousness at first, because I don't understand who or what they are.

It IS discerning at first and I want to disconnect from them and not be there.

They ARE a part of me and they have a reason and a purpose.

It may not be what feels good but the peace comes when you welcome that part and let them be who they are and what they are.

In my experience the stress and anxiousness and the alcohol have come from denying who and what they are were and are now.

I've had parts of me come to me and take my hand (internally) or just be in a safe place with me.

They did become a part of me (integrate with me) and it's like co consciousness with them.

Not sure if that makes sense. Just wanted to say that.

(((KB))).

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

If I may share my experience with my other parts of me........

When they have come to me, I meet them with anxiousness at first, because I don't understand who or what they are.

It IS discerning at first and I want to disconnect from them and not be there.

They ARE a part of me and they have a reason and a purpose.

It may not be what feels good but the peace comes when you welcome that part and let them be who they are and what they are.

In my experience the stress and anxiousness and the alcohol have come from denying who and what they are were and are now.

I've had parts of me come to me and take my hand (internally) or just be in a safe place with me.

They did become a part of me (integrate with me) and it's like co consciousness with them.

Not sure if that makes sense. Just wanted to say that.

(((KB))).

I see that more as co-operation then integration....we co-op (sometimes it's an inner rivalry...but for the most part co-op), but we are seperate. It just seems that integration would be difficult to impossible for us because Others do not want it.....there is also that uncrossable amnesiac barrier...feels like a stone wall impenetrable- the complete seperation of parts even though we are co-con in voice only.

To be a singleton with no Others....just a dream here I suppose.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I see that more as co-operation then integration....we co-op (sometimes it's an inner rivalry...but for the most part co-op), but we are seperate. It just seems that integration would be difficult to impossible for us because Others do not want it.....there is also that uncrossable amnesiac barrier...feels like a stone wall impenetrable- the complete seperation of parts even though we are co-con in voice only.

To be a singleton with no Others....just a dream here I suppose.

What you say is right. I hadn't really thought it through. It does seem more like a co-op.

My reasoning behind that is that a part of me has come completely forward twice in the past month. When that happened, I became a passenger and witnessed two truthful fits of rage, with no way to stop it.

It wasn't really "bad" but it was something that I "myself" would never do.

It was called for, I believe, but it would have felt better if I had had some control over what I was witnessing.

Thank you for your reply to my post. It opens my mind to more questions.

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

What you say is right. I hadn't really thought it through. It does seem more like a co-op.

My reasoning behind that is that a part of me has come completely forward twice in the past month. When that happened, I became a passenger and witnessed two truthful fits of rage, with no way to stop it.

It wasn't really "bad" but it was something that I "myself" would never do.

It was called for, I believe, but it would have felt better if I had had some control over what I was witnessing.

Thank you for your reply to my post. It opens my mind to more questions.

From what I gather...co-operation is the other goal over integration. Co-op for us came natural in the sense of trying to blend in un-noticed in secret in the public eye over fear of humilation...(like that didn't happen).

But it's a community effort as we try to not step on each other's toes or embarrass Others or the system...

But...our co-op became unglued through the unraveling of the truth.....but now we need to rebond in knowledge and work together to stay somewhat sane.