[anais_anais]

Another thread about the deaths of alters was making me think... I have an alter that is a girl, around 4 years old, and dead. She is a ghost. I only recently became co-conscious with her and she doesn't come out very often.

But now I am remembering back to that time, when I was four. I am suddenly remembering now how my mom told me a story about the family who lived in our house before us-- they had a daughter who died young from a heart condition. My mom would swear she could see the little girl's ghost at night when she was alone in the kitchen. So at night, because I couldn't sleep, I would become the ghost girl. I would wander around the house in pitch black as quietly as I could. I would be her. And sometimes I'd watch my mom and hear my mom call out, "hello?" and the next day she'd tell her friends about the ghost she saw. I did this almost every night.

I think I am remembering the creation of an alter, but I'm not sure. I know I have this alter, and now I have this story that goes with it. I've never had this happen before-- have any of you?

[Amyjay]

I can see how child logic and attachment or trauma could influence the development of a ghost alter there. From the perspective of an unseen and unprotected child who is trying to make sense out of their experiences it makes sense.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by anais_anais

Another thread about the deaths of alters was making me think... I have an alter that is a girl, around 4 years old, and dead. She is a ghost. I only recently became co-conscious with her and she doesn't come out very often.

But now I am remembering back to that time, when I was four. I am suddenly remembering now how my mom told me a story about the family who lived in our house before us-- they had a daughter who died young from a heart condition. My mom would swear she could see the little girl's ghost at night when she was alone in the kitchen. So at night, because I couldn't sleep, I would become the ghost girl. I would wander around the house in pitch black as quietly as I could. I would be her. And sometimes I'd watch my mom and hear my mom call out, "hello?" and the next day she'd tell her friends about the ghost she saw. I did this almost every night.

I think I am remembering the creation of an alter, but I'm not sure. I know I have this alter, and now I have this story that goes with it. I've never had this happen before-- have any of you?

I cant say whether this alter and story is how and why your alter was created...

what I can do is tell you here where I am alters are not created because someone wants be become someone else on purpose.

here where I am DID is a dissociative disorder that happens due to extreme trauma to children before the age of 5. and dissociation isnt something someone can choose to be here where I am, its an automatic reaction to things that a person is otherwise unable to handle..

example I didnt choose to be abused or choose for my mind to dissociate into many alters because I wanted to become someone else.

Rainy came into being due to being sexually abused in the most horrific ways in which I did not have the knowledge, understanding or abilities to handle that trauma. my bodies automatic reaction was to shut down all my senses so that I would not feel the pain, would not feel the emotions, not feel and know the trauma was happening... in other words my body and mind disconnected, went numb, spaced out, it was rainy that told my treatment provider about the first night she lived with in my body. I only gained that knowledge after Rainy integrated with me and we became one whole person again.

each one of my alters were created because I underwent extreme trauma which resulted in my brains automatic reaction of dissociation (mentally going numb, spaced out and disconnected)

to find out why and how your alter was created and whether it has to do with that story your mother told you and your purposely walking around the house like a ghost you will have to contact your own treatment providers.

most of us remember the moment we were created

[Ellahmae]

I'm still learning the moments. Last week was the first time I learned when scarlet was created. So now I know the creation of some but not all. Maybe I'll never know but right now I'm glad I have realized I don't have to be scared of them.

[just2b]

Not sure any of us know anything..we just here. Hey maybe other system that died off has answers that we don't. That was 2 years ago.

[krazy_phoenix]

Don't know how any energies were created. Mystery. Doesn't make sense.

[anais_anais]

I do have did, yes. My therapists are unavailable for the next month and a half so I am just wondering here. I do not think the story is how the alter happened. I know and have experienced what causes alters to occur, and I don't feel the need to elaborate, thank you. But I wonder if that experience gave rise to this alter later. I don't remember the beginnings of any of mine and the fact that I can remember this portion of my childhood at all is very unusual for me because I have amnesia. But I am wondering if others do. This is not something that my treatment providers can help me with. If they were able I would not ask here.

Our alters just are....the memories of exactly why they were created are moot. I know we had a point that we needed a male alter to interact socially....that's when Steven emerged to be our male public relations alter back in the second year of high school. That's when we became socially active...trying to climb out of our shell.

[L.P.]

I can remember when a few of us came to be. The most notable of them in my own thoughts would be when and how C.C. came to be. I have a clear memory of my body standing on a staircase and suddenly being faced with the reality that 'I' was not 'myself' anymore.

When I think on the things that helped shaped some of us before we came to be though, my own origin is something I like to think on now and then. I do not mean the event that made me become a distinct individual in my system, though I do know that as well, what I mean is why I am what I am, how I am. If that makes sense. I have a deep connect to an internal lake in my mind, bodies of water are a part of who and what I am as a person. I have a memory of being a young child and adoring the feel of being underwater in a lake. It felt big under the water, calm, quiet, peaceful, safe. I believe this water connect that was experienced as a child helped shape who I would come to be in my system.

I enjoy thinking on things such as that for not only myself but others in my system as well. I find it all rather fascinating and helpful in my attempts to try to gain understanding of my others.

Amsterdam

[yagr]

Originally Posted by anais_anais

I think I am remembering the creation of an alter, but I'm not sure. I know I have this alter, and now I have this story that goes with it. I've never had this happen before-- have any of you?

I have not, but a little just had a pang of sadness/covetousness that she does not. How do you feel about the possibility that this story and the creation of this alter are related?

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I cant say whether this alter and story is how and why your alter was created...

No worries, after three readings of anais_anais's post, I can't see where that question was asked.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

to find out why and how your alter was created and whether it has to do with that story your mother told you and your purposely walking around the house like a ghost you will have to contact your own treatment providers.

The question was, "I've never had this happen before-- have any of you?" Asking her treatment provider if any of us have had this happen before will not result in a satisfactory answer. I'd be very surprised if her treatment provider was arrogant enough to attempt to answer such a question.

What's the point of having a forum if every question we have here is referred back to someone not on the forum?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by anais_anais

I do have did, yes. My therapists are unavailable for the next month and a half so I am just wondering here. I do not think the story is how the alter happened. I know and have experienced what causes alters to occur, and I don't feel the need to elaborate, thank you. But I wonder if that experience gave rise to this alter later. I don't remember the beginnings of any of mine and the fact that I can remember this portion of my childhood at all is very unusual for me because I have amnesia. But I am wondering if others do. This is not something that my treatment providers can help me with. If they were able I would not ask here.

thank you for clarifying for me..... yes I had amnesia too you are not alone. I did not know what my alters reasons for being created were. My alters were the ones that told my treatment providers about the trauma's that led to their first moments of being, example Rainy told my therapist about having to take control while I was being abused during a storm and having to get me and her home, warm and dry.... Thelma told about the abusers prostitution of me and how because I could not handle that she came into being and her job, purpose reason for being was to enjoy and seek out sexual situations, dating and so on.

I do have memories of snippets of family stories but my own treatment providers explained to me even normal people have this kind of memory where sometimes family stories make a big impact on a persons life but are not the kind that created any alters with in me. example it is said that one of the mine shafts where I was raised was haunted by a few miners that died in the shaft. sometimes the young teen agers (13/ 14 yr olds) would go down into that forbidden branch of the mine to seek out their ghosts and one time some older teens (a few 16 yr olds) decided to scare the pants of um by hiding in the mine shaft and when the teens reached a certain point they would "hear the miners" its a rite of passage kind of thing in the mining town that some teens came up with years ago and it makes such a big impact on the teens that the teens just continue to play ghosts of miners past. I never did it but I always wondered if that game had anything to do with the fact that my abusers chose the mine to be the location of the abuse. its something I will probably never know. my opinion is I would have much rather the mines have been a game of finding the minors ghosts and play the ghosts of minors past then being abused in the mines. I would probably have better memories, more enjoyable memories now. but like I said its something that I will never have the answers to so I dont bother dwelling on what could have been, what should have been and wonder what ifs. to me theres more in life to marvel and wonder about then the past, the past is gone all I can do is move forwards.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by yagr

I have not, but a little just had a pang of sadness/covetousness that she does not. How do you feel about the possibility that this story and the creation of this alter are related?


No worries, after three readings of anais_anais's post, I can't see where that question was asked.


The question was, "I've never had this happen before-- have any of you?" Asking her treatment provider if any of us have had this happen before will not result in a satisfactory answer. I'd be very surprised if her treatment provider was arrogant enough to attempt to answer such a question.

What's the point of having a forum if every question we have here is referred back to someone not on the forum?

yes I realize the question isnt always asked when I put that in my posts. i put that in many of my posts for clarity purposes, rather than jumping right into my post and leaving readers wondering who I am talking about I sometimes add that first thing so that others see right away that what follows is about me not them, just my recent efforts of making my posts more clear lately.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by yagr

I have not, but a little just had a pang of sadness/covetousness that she does not. How do you feel about the possibility that this story and the creation of this alter are related?


No worries, after three readings of anais_anais's post, I can't see where that question was asked.


The question was, "I've never had this happen before-- have any of you?" Asking her treatment provider if any of us have had this happen before will not result in a satisfactory answer. I'd be very surprised if her treatment provider was arrogant enough to attempt to answer such a question.

What's the point of having a forum if every question we have here is referred back to someone not on the forum?

the point is that at the bottom of every page there is a disclaimer that states....

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by anais_anais

Another thread about the deaths of alters was making me think... I have an alter that is a girl, around 4 years old, and dead. She is a ghost. I only recently became co-conscious with her and she doesn't come out very often.


But now I am remembering back to that time, when I was four. I am suddenly remembering now how my mom told me a story about the family who lived in our house before us-- they had a daughter who died young from a heart condition. My mom would swear she could see the little girl's ghost at night when she was alone in the kitchen. So at night, because I couldn't sleep, I would become the ghost girl. I would wander around the house in pitch black as quietly as I could. I would be her. And sometimes I'd watch my mom and hear my mom call out, "hello?" and the next day she'd tell her friends about the ghost she saw. I did this almost every night.


I think I am remembering the creation of an alter, but I'm not sure. I know I have this alter, and now I have this story that goes with it. I've never had this happen before-- have any of you?

As I've walked through the trauma of my childhood, I have witnessed where parts of me were created.

With me the trauma comes back in pieces and I feel the emotion that was there, as an undercurrent, until I can fit the pieces together and take that part to a safe place.

They do have names and I can feel/see them as a part of me.

[dlantern]

Yea cause in our system we dont want to search years before with what got them here a nice estimate would be exactly great. For instance I got here 1997 precise enough to be okay, everything else is ur learning what was already with us.

[Amyjay]

I think I know how and when one alter was created. I am not sure about the rest. I think some were not created out of a traumatic incident. they don't deal with trauma, they deal with life things like work and school and stuff. This disorder is so crazy it does my head in. I don't understand how any of it works really.

[ACrystalGem]

I remember 2 times an alter was born. The creation of Larry was strange & only made sense to me recently. I had a strong memory of the bad place my main abuser took me to (a house where other kids got hurt & grown up watch). I saw a young boy getting hurt by lots of men, and felt like he was going to die from what was happening. Then the point of view shifted and it was me as the little boy, looking out of the circle of men to see Outside Me as a little girl. Larry is fierce, sweary and hardly afraid of anyone. I was quite scared of him at first, but can understand him a lot more nowadays.