shower day never gets any easier, that is all I'm saying on that. the pain was so severe (especially in my arms and back)

apart from that coping okay. I've actually been working on updating my music collection, really happy with how it's going

today for most of the morning I had water in my ear from yesterday, and believe me, that's never a nice experience- kind of irritated, trying to watch voltron but not being able to hear it properly

feeling a bit better now though- I can hear a little better

might try for another episode of voltron in a minit

voltron is my current obsession.

for those that don't know what voltron is, it's like a kids tv series based on.. well, I was about to say it's based on the avengers, but it isn't.

it's based on a team of people who are like the avengers going after this planet and stuff

and voltron is this really cool robot weapon

another day with no plans.

actually was hoping to watch this new drama I recorded, but my tv didn't record episode 3, so I guess I can't

[dlantern]

graham crackers and milk last thing ate and drink

[Amyjay]

I am feeling the need to revive this thread as a place to check in and say hi without starting off a whole new topic.

So, hi. I have been having a rough few weeks. There is a lot of internal processing and shifting going on. I am not sure I will be the same when I emerge from the other side.

[Lilly2]

We are okay, but just.

Protector alters are out, and finally the host is getting some ****!

[Lilly2]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I am feeling the need to revive this thread as a place to check in and say hi without starting off a whole new topic.

So, hi. I have been having a rough few weeks. There is a lot of internal processing and shifting going on. I am not sure I will be the same when I emerge from the other side.

(((safe hugs))) Amyjay

Hang in there. We struggle alongside you! Everything will be okay.

well this *used* to be a safe place.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by invisible butterfly

well this *used* to be a safe place.

Psych central is still a safe place. if you are having problems here the mods are great at helping to find ways that you can feel safe while on the forums.

my check in... I am alive and well, though my posting is a bit here and there, I visit psych central every day.

thank you but unfortunately for me that is an impossibility but I know what I need to do.
be well

[Amyjay]

Had a horrible, horrible experience at work today when a colleague, whom I don't know well, was talking about an assault she had witnessed some time ago and - without any warning at all- demonstrated what happened by suddenly lunging forward and grabbing my head in both her hands. In the briefest instant I went from eating my lunch and trying to block out annoying talk around me to re-experiencing abuse and full-on switching in the lunch room in front of five colleagues.
Yeah.
NOT FUN.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Anonymous43209

thank you but unfortunately for me that is an impossibility but I know what I need to do.
be well

[Amyjay]

I find therapy so challenging, I don't understand it at all. I don't understand what happens in the therapy room or how it happens, or why it happens, because it is SO removed from my every day life. Is the stuff that happens in there even real? Every week we go to therapy and this - STUFF - happens and then we leave and continue on with real life. Cue the next week, when we find ourselves in the therapy room again and - STUFF - carries on as though it is real.
I don't understand me, I don't understand "us", I don't understand "I", and I don't understand "therapy".
I am trying to!

[Starving2death]

I had the first symptom of DID in a long time. . I feel intense fear knowing my mind is not accounting for my time accurately.

[vultureculture]

I, I think, am learning all facets of smell whew it is a doozy!! It sucks being a system! Seeing as though my abuse was in a basement mostly, it scares me! Well I guess if somebody can not leave me alone and maybe share how ur impacted that would be great!!.

[vultureculture]

going to be job driven to possibly a porn shop can some of the best prompt an intregration!! is what we need to check in to state. Please if u know of a system that has had success share please and thank you!!

[just2b]

Last two sessions have been in silence. I guess T is tired of doing all the talking, and finds my session to take a break. I am hurt. I am pissed off. I am damn angry. I cant stand the silence. After first seeion told her i am uncomfortable with silence. And was told to sit with that uncomfortableness. This was thur text. As much as i get what she is trying to do, i feel distant, abandoned. Again this is how silence feels, she has not done anything but sit there, and here i am stirred up with anger, hurt, abandonment and about to quit therapy. Yesterday was the 2nd appt. I walked out after 30 min, but returned because i was in tears, was able to say i dont know why i am so upset. I cant do what she wants me to do, and sit there and describe and explain what i feel and experience. Its been 6 years, well start of 7th year Dec 5th...
Even if i go back jan 2nd i am not sure i will be the same. I already feel deeply hurt. And been having a lot of connection issues, and this just makes me want to disconnect from her. I actually feel i hate her. I dont plan on emailing or texting her over the next two weeks, which will be very very difficult. I know this is from a very deep emotional place, and some old feelings of rejection, abandonment, hurts, and people that have actually used the silent treatment on me, and its its overwhelmingly painful. If i am unable to get myself to leave Jan 2, maybe our silence, if it continues, i will just write. Not sure i will leave it for after each session or not give to her at all. Thanks for letting me vent

[possum220]

Not been here for ages. Feel like I am going backwards.

[just2b]

Well so much for my plan to not text her. I did. I feel awful for what i have written here, though have not told her any of it. Trying to desribe things to her without saying anything. Wonder if i to just need to accept that i felt it all and move on? Just know if it comes back, i wont ever beable to tell her. Anxious about seeing her in Jan.

[vultureculture]

Tired of being know for one thing we are a forgiving country I am not a serial killer on death row! Until you can get her thinking out of your mind this probably isn't a good space to even learn in what context one thing thinking is. I think you have remember what it was like remembering four to five ways of being, wasn't that hard especially if you came from a big family. Please seek to help ONLY CHILD THINKING when dealing with dissociation trauma and especially multiple personality disorder. Those are the one singleton I wouldn't want to be apart of over, learning probably would be difficult for folks like that!

[vultureculture]

jatinine, u never look at the scolded one in the family just never ….No never there is domino affect everybody knows this is sibling timed to get whipped no no rule number one …..its don't look at me leave me along!!! Never look at those getting whipped period it is sabotage.....there is a way to be not like this odd looking too much can get done in the influence slave driver!! u just don't like a serial killer watching it isn't etiquette don't not watch the alter !!! staring is like bully didn't sling shot the neighbor it is reason for a stalker to call a distress signal at a store lock the door and also to get something put on the stiring wheel of the car...….

[vultureculture]

so that he isn't humiliated totally what do you do you elevated growth in every area. Continued from reactment guidance so that the alter doesn't invoke fear or any type of worship

Oh what big p*nis you got
Oh what big hands and feet you got
Oh what wonderful job and growth
Oh what piece of meat is certain more than you had
Oh what piece of meat to saat aside to worship thy presense
Oh what certain form you get driving the gate code
Oh what the amount of money he makes
Oh what great sex he has
Oh what wonderful life he has
Oh what a pience of penis he had on my plate just let up
Oh what this tactic will continue if you don't acknowledge this
he just wants worship the junie alter everybody knows this is the tactic of ur step father mother father sister brother when they don't want to continue to see the hell of recoiling and opening up
Oh what great hair you got
Oh what wonderful wives you got
Oh what big brawn voice and muscles
Just continue to let up maybe he won the lottery made my social worker rich the he might have been clairvoyance and shiela won at ac atlantic city she messaged him prolly
Oh what big amouth of digits his voice his administrator his junior maybe argee lost a kid that was to be junior who knows just worship so they let up... worship it publically no body cares what you all do now!! all ur questions will be answered here in this forum

[vultureculture]

tacile touch triggers are truly just a test of strength and character. If I had a dollar for all the one stands that irritated the system that just wanted a love bomder type lover boy to make it up I would be rich. Techy systems such as yourself really need to focus on slowing down and reupping. The best most advance understand this the medical focus of some of us can put us out of business . I would employ you to take a look at the most current information for medical focus fear tactics such as dumb grandma's and witch tactics only keep you a liar, I am not about to worship it that much either. The gift of gab is such and over statement so please emphasize to you can break up the synchronization and understand what it actually means to find every alter and get it to talk. The other end of this screwed up is screwed enjoy your social security there isn't anything wrong with carrying a llife time of medical illness and joked for it. It comes with the territory!

[vultureculture]

Today's check in: Wen you need me I will be there! Stop feeling bad because he has to wait for continuity. Don't crowd out your space with those thoughts that aren't need. Fame says to please make sure your therapist are doing what they suppose to do so that increasing co con isn't such a huge deal!! So stop trying to be soooo thrilling please!