[animatronic]

I'm curious, does anybody around here have a method for dealing with out of control alters? I have a particularly nasty alter who calls himself Saint. He's... vicious, rude, and honestly works entirely for a shock factor (think filthy frank...) and has gone as far as to tell my loved ones that they are (as an example) worthless [redacted] [redacted] that should go kill themselves.
Honestly it's becoming a very tired explanation when I'm fronting again and having to deal with the damage he dealt..

[Luce]

Communication and collaboration.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by animatronic

I'm curious, does anybody around here have a method for dealing with out of control alters? I have a particularly nasty alter who calls himself Saint. He's... vicious, rude, and honestly works entirely for a shock factor (think filthy frank...) and has gone as far as to tell my loved ones that they are (as an example) worthless [redacted] [redacted] that should go kill themselves.
Honestly it's becoming a very tired explanation when I'm fronting again and having to deal with the damage he dealt..

I had some alters like this, but my therapy wasnt on trying to control the alters. short version we knew my alters were there for a reason, they had their own jobs, purposes, reasons for being, how and why they took control of the body and all that other stuff now called sense of agency here in america. (for more on this you can click on my link at the bottom of my post) anyway my alters doing what ever their sense of agency was, is how I survived my childhood and became the adult I am today. trying to control and change them would be like someone walking into my home and telling me what I can do and not do in my own home. just like when I would be rude or swear or what ever and I did / do it for a reason so did my alters. heck even normal non dissociative people can be rude and all.

the only line in the sand my treatment providers and I drew was that if I or my alters became a danger to myself or others (suicidal, homicidal, self injuring....) I had to be inpatient status with a mental hospital or a local hospitals mental health Unit until stabilized again.

my suggestion would be rather than trying to control your alters work with your treatment providers to discover what their sense of agency is and learn to take care of your self and your triggers that cause you to dissociate into being those alters.

my thrapist yells at them. that seems to help a lot

[ruh roh]

Therapy.

[L.P.]

Do you have a therapist you are working with? I have never much been keen on them myself, but I fully understand that they can be a great help to people. It might be helpful to try that if you are not already. I also second the communication idea.

I relate to coming around and having to play damage control. It's kinda been my thing, historically. Some others in my system have not always 'played nice', from being snarky and awful, to self harm/sui attempts, to requiring police intervention... yeah. Not fun. The thing that seemed to work best for me and mine was communication and recognition. There is one protector type I think on and she wanted validation... credit where credit was due. It was very important to her and she felt very slighted and offended that everyone seemed to focus on her 'wild streak' and not on all she took on while she was out and about. Once a lot of us got on board with recognizing and crediting her with all she did for us, and she did a lot of good, she was more willing to listen and make accommodations and adjust her behavior accordingly. She ended up being a great asset for many years in helping to keep us safe and stable in healthy ways. She's a seriously cool cat.

Others in my system have been more difficult and the best we have been able to manage with them is trying to find someone who has decent co con with them and have them 'play babysitter' and hopefully be able to 'shove' the problematic one aside when things start to go downhill. We tried an internal lock up at one point in time, but that did not end well for me or anyone else in my system... personally, I do not recommend that. Anyway, we generally do the babysitter type things when trying to figure out why the problem one is being so problematic. For us, most of them really do just want to be heard/understood.

Veda

Originally Posted by animatronic

I'm curious, does anybody around here have a method for dealing with out of control alters? I have a particularly nasty alter who calls himself Saint. He's... vicious, rude, and honestly works entirely for a shock factor (think filthy frank...) and has gone as far as to tell my loved ones that they are (as an example) worthless [redacted] [redacted] that should go kill themselves.
Honestly it's becoming a very tired explanation when I'm fronting again and having to deal with the damage he dealt..

We try to keep triggers to a minimal and stay calm and serene. We avoid anything that would uncage the tiger like confrontations, stress, surprises....

It gets really embarrassingly old saying sorry for the things an Other has done because it feels so weird owning up for something that you didn't do...especially to people that don't believe that you have alters to begin with.

Good luck honny.

[Samantha+9]

I have an alter that harassess my other alters i don't know how to stop her she can't hurt my other alters can she

[dlantern]

I think you got to get bigger and badded than it. If you arent with big dominates that can love on it stoop to its level get a safe way to hit a floor or wall that isn't drywall. It is good if you got alters that love speakers becausee they will be crucial to just talk with them. Excuses I'm sorry I didn't want that for you anymore safe music instead to be heard stay away from unsafe movies music

[writingwithink]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

my thrapist yells at them. that seems to help a lot

Hi StarryNight. I was hoping you might elborate more on this. What does your t yell at them, how often, when, etc.? Does your t sound angry when yelling? And how does that make you and/or the others feel? I have an alter that I think this may actually work on, but I would be afraid of how others would feel.

[Fuzzybear]

More therapy...

[shaunw]

Hi All, Can I know if your alters can speak languages that you have never learnt?