hello

I dont usually post here, I dont really know what to say. I am going through some pretty intensive therapy, first time ever. yesterday I posted some really strange stuff, like I wasn't me, but I knew I was writing it, is this normal? I cried myself to sleep sucking my thumb!!!!! I spoke to Freewill who is very supportive and apparently it is normal, but I remember writing it, looking back at it this morning I don't remember some of how I wrote it but just remember feeling like I wanted to be safe and my grandad used to make me feel just that. I am a bit scared and confused about my behaviour. I feel better today but upset about my actions yesterday if that makes sense, I just wondered if anyone could shed any light on it?

love, Kerry xxx

is it ok to post here if I'm not sure? Just say, I'm just confused, I looked at KimmyDawns resources and I'm still confused
sorry.

Kerry x

(((jinnyann)))) Yes, Freewill is correct, it is normal. What you were doing is dissociating. I know here in this forum we mostly read about full dissociation, but there is other depths of this phenomena. Derealization and depersonalization fall into this category in a way, where things just don't feel real.

There's "dissociation lite" like when ppl drive and don't really recall what they passed once they arrive at their destination.

That you are digging deep in therapy certainly can produce such results. Take it easy on yourself, be sure to tell your T the results. He may want to slow down in therapy sessions a bit, and allow you to assimilate the information better.

thankyou sky, actually that is strange because I told my cpn yesterday that I drove my daughter to college and can't rmember much about the journey!

jinny xx

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_Sky said:
There's "dissociation lite" like when ppl drive and don't really recall what they passed once they arrive at their destination.
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Dissociation light? Is that like 100% of the taste with 1/2 the calories?

Sorry.. couldnt ignore that one. I often feel the same way jinnyann. Actually .. sometimes I cant feel myself when I write certain things. I have to close my eyes and fade away a bit to do it. It numbs my response to the life im talking about.

(((((( jinnyann )))))))) I know it can be very confusing when we have awareness about ourselves and actions that we weren't aware existed prior...that's actually a good thing!

As for the rest, I agree with what sky said, and especially her advice to go easy on self.

Love,

KD

thankyou so much. I suppose I am rushing things, I so want to mend, but you can't hurry these things.

thanks again, Kerry xoxoxoxo