Out and in the dark

I think that there are Others that I can’t hear or talk to. Parts would answer questions, talk to, spurt out comments, or exclaim to what I perceive as nothing.

This bothers me. It makes me feel less in control of what I thought I was queen...all things ran by me.

When you hear a voice say “don’t talk to me like that!” Who’s talking?

Now I perceive parts of convo within and out that I’m not privy to. This frightens me. Now I feel like I really have a Disorder.

It’s scary not knowing which way we will go. I know that there isn’t a pill to fix this: red or blue?

at first this did bother me too after I had been diagnosed DID. Then my treatment providers explained to me that nothing was going to change, everything that was before I was diagnosed has already been happening all my life. all that was going to happen after I was diagnosed was healing, getting better, learning how to handle my problems without the need to dissociate....

then they asked me a question... before now when I didnt know there were others did it bother me, no it didnt. I didnt know about them so I just went on with my life.

so there I was thinking ok so they have been there all along the only thing that has changed is my perception. ok have at it just like you always have done and Ill just go about my life like I have always done. no its not as simple as that but taking that attitude really helped me to move on beyond the anxiety/ worry stage.

my suggestion if this continues to bother you talk to your or a treatment provider, they will be able to help you find a way to accept that they have been there all along and move on beyond this realization back to where you can continue on with your life like before you realized this.

Yes, you are right about it being there all along.... it’s just so creepy knowing. It makes me feel even more out of control and untrusting of self.

There is always fear of the unknown, especially if it potentially can be life changing...an alter takes over and does something stupid that affects all of us negatively...like start smoking pot, doing drugs, hurt someone, judges and jails (been there done that)...

We just going to try to keep trying to control the uncontrollable.

AC2, do you guys have a gatekeeper personality in there?

I agree it was creepy knowing for me too, but it got easier, in time I actually welcomed the idea that they were there helping me handle the things that I could not.

i have confidence in you, you will get there, your road maybe a bit bumpy but its worth the trip.

I’m sure we do or we’d be plum nutz, but a rogue personality gets triggered out...and if they make a niche....they might come back and dominate.