[rise13eyond]

I'm not really sure why I phrased the title as a question...Anyway, so a new alter showed up recently...Actually she showed up a couple months ago for a short time, and at the time We....well mostly just me, was a bit jarred, and not wanting to deal with one more, so I kinda just hoped I was confused or something (I am a professional denier). But she showed up again last night. So I guess I can't keep denying her. But I'm still feeling a bit confused. It's hard getting used to a new one. I have so many questions. Why her? Why now? Along with just general questions about her. None of us can figure out her age for one. She said "everyone wanted a little girl, so that's what they'll get". I'm a bit baffled, although I think I might know what she means it still leaves me with the same questions. So are these feelings normal or am I just weird and don't know how to deal?

it is tough getting used to new alters- especially when you don't know too much about them or they don't comunicate

my newest alter's been around for about a month and her name is malika

I barely don't know anything about her and it is difficult

well.. I deffenetly don't know her age, or what she likes/ dislikes

but I know that she likes to cause trouble- that's about it

So glad you shared this now. Recently had a "new" alter make an appearance. Turns out not new, not first appearance. Geez, & I thought I was in charge! Apparently, he's talked to my T before. Isn't T suppose to tell you these things!!!?😉 Other insiders know of him. Seems, me...you know, the one in-charge... is the only one that didn't have a clue! More seriously, the alter has been part of the system probably from the beginning. My T has said he either didn't feel safe enough to be recognized or perhaps the others were protecting him or I wasn't ready. Like an app. He was running in the background all this time so he's not new. Nothing to get concerned about (easy for T to say!). We'll get to know each other. But I want to know who, how, why, details now. My T just got this irritating not -the -way- it -works smile on his face! I thought all were known...like we were at the end of the line. So I guess there is sadness & more than the usual anger at those who caused this. But we, like you, will get to know him.

[bunnyhabit]

have you been having dreams about being with a little girl prior to her appearance? my therapist told me if i dream about my alter he will appear more often than usual. he also told me to tell him if i dream a lot about any other specific individual

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by rise13eyond

I'm not really sure why I phrased the title as a question...Anyway, so a new alter showed up recently...Actually she showed up a couple months ago for a short time, and at the time We....well mostly just me, was a bit jarred, and not wanting to deal with one more, so I kinda just hoped I was confused or something (I am a professional denier). But she showed up again last night. So I guess I can't keep denying her. But I'm still feeling a bit confused. It's hard getting used to a new one. I have so many questions. Why her? Why now? Along with just general questions about her. None of us can figure out her age for one. She said "everyone wanted a little girl, so that's what they'll get". I'm a bit baffled, although I think I might know what she means it still leaves me with the same questions. So are these feelings normal or am I just weird and don't know how to deal?

sorry we cant tell you whether these feelings are normal for you or not. only your own treatment providers can tell you what is normal for you and what is not normal for you.

what I can tell you is that for me denial of the disorder and alters was not a normal thing for me. I became DID whether I knew it or not before the age of 5 with the very first alters creation from an extremely traumatic event that my under 5 yr old brain did not have the physical and mental abilities to handle.

I was diagnosed after I became an adult, so everything that was part of my having DID was my normal, so as an adult having alters was my normal.

what else I can tell you is that it was normal for me to have alters that I didnt know about. to me they sometimes seemed new simply because I had limited to no co consciousness with my alters. this didnt mean they just suddenly one day sprang into being. they were there whether I knew about them or not since very early childhood, taking control and doing what I was unable to handle, each time I had my dissociative symptoms. example I could not stand watermellon due to being abused by someone eating watermellon. I would dissociate any time I smelled or was near a watermellon and the alter who's job, purpose, reason for being created when I was 4, would take control and handle that. I didnt know she existed until I was an adult but she was there each and every time through out my childhood doing what was needed with that trigger.

my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact yours or a mental health treatment provider who can help you to discover what is what with you and this alter.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by rise13eyond

I'm not really sure why I phrased the title as a question...Anyway, so a new alter showed up recently...Actually she showed up a couple months ago for a short time, and at the time We....well mostly just me, was a bit jarred, and not wanting to deal with one more, so I kinda just hoped I was confused or something (I am a professional denier). But she showed up again last night. So I guess I can't keep denying her. But I'm still feeling a bit confused. It's hard getting used to a new one. I have so many questions. Why her? Why now? Along with just general questions about her. None of us can figure out her age for one. She said "everyone wanted a little girl, so that's what they'll get". I'm a bit baffled, although I think I might know what she means it still leaves me with the same questions. So are these feelings normal or am I just weird and don't know how to deal?

Getting to know a "new" alter can be challenging for us too. Often our first awareness of a previous unknown alter is through flashbacks of their experiences affecting us. So sometimes that can be pretty traumatic. We do have a lot of denial in our system because the job of our daily life alters/apparently normal parts/front alters was to carry on as normal completely unaware of the abuse that was happening to us on a daily basis. Their "unawareness" enabled us to go to school and get somewhat on an education. I am part of this group of front alters and it is often very, very hard for us to accept that the memories flashbacks and experiences the other alters hold might be real. Our job is to live as though it doesn't/didn't happen. Taking on the new knowledge and experiences of the trauma parts is extremely traumatic for us, and yes, we struggle a lot with denial. It is so much easier for us front ones to pretend our family is normal and know nothing about the traumas they perpetrated against us. To give up denial is to give up the only family they have. It takes a real paradigm shift to adapt to the new awareness and memories that previously unknown alters bring with them. It is a slow process.
So I can tell you for me the extreme traumas that caused the young child we were to dissociate and develop dissociative identity disorder when we were very young are still denied by some of us. It still feels much easier and natural to deny them and maintain the dissociation that enables us to function somewhat "normally". Acceptance of their truths is painful, traumatic and debilitating at times. None of this is "normal" for us. Our "normal" is going through life not knowing, not seeing, not hearing, not feeling, not being. Becoming aware of the extent of the betrayals and traumas perpetrated against us is utterly devastating and harrowing. This is not "normal".
Our "normal" experience of getting to know the alters as they reveal themselves to us is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

In spite of that we know this is what we have to do. If we want to have a life where we can love and be loved, where we can feel and experience without flashbacks and fear, we need to go through this paradigm shift and learn a new way to be. So when we "meet" a "new" alter we be curious, like you. We introduce ourselves. We ask questions, gently. We invite. We show our world. We help them to feel safe. We extend friendship to them. We develop a relationship, bit by bit.

It generally works.

I think having alters is like the tip of an iceberg. Our system is too fragmented so much that when new situations arise for a part...another part for that part emerges to stay consistent to that parts role. This was very much heavily relied upon up through our young adult years...but with age comes experience and not so much anymore.

Sometimes a part from the distant past would appear for a bit like Hillbilly from my early 20’s did...made a comment about the truck he bought which we were still driving, and then went back in. With him though come flooding back long buried memories of how it was, then gone they were when he went in.

Our minds are in a condition to create an alter for facets of life spontaneously...like since childhood. I’m sure as I live longer...new ones will appear because this is how our minds adapt to new stimuli and situations. IMHO.