..........

Just... forget it. I'm a coward anyway.

Whatever it is, I'm sorry, and I hope it gets better.

Chez3 spoke for me.
Good talk, everyone.

You are not forgotten. You are seen. Even if you haven't found your courage yet.
Be kind to you.

It’s okay...we do often, too. Most of the time we never hit the “post” button and erase everything just typed in the box.

I find that the Others tend to take over at times and delete what was posted because they feel differently and/or are embarrassed over it.

Maybe that’s what happened? But anyways...you are not a coward.

Thanks everyone. I just, I'm having a hard time with the idea that I have DID. I know I at least have DDNOS because I've had too many moments where I have no clue where I am, who I'm with or even what my name is. It lasts for a couple minutes at a time. I know I have these voices in my head that are different from the ones my antipsychotic is attempting to take care of (the external ones). I know I shouldn't deny what I've experienced, seeing myself do things but have zero control over my body. Have a lot of moments I don't remember really, not without a voice telling me or "showing" me what happened. What if I'm just crazy? What if this is just me being psychotic and my meds aren't working? To accept that I have this means I have to accept what the voices tell me happened and these "memories" I have aren't false. I'm not sure I can accept that, or any of it.

I hate the evil in this world. I hate what happened to my best friends, I hate what happened to my mother, I hate what's happened to my siblings. What's the point of living in a world where so much evil exists? 'Evil' spelled backwards is 'live'... maybe the act of living turns people evil. Maybe that's what's going to happen to me.

no you are not crazy. if you see a treatment provider you may not get a diagnosis of DDNOS because that .........label......... no longer exists here in the USA..... not saying your problems dont exist just the name DDNOS.

in 2013 the name DDNOS has been changed to OSDD (Other Specified Dissociative Disorder)

if you see a treatment provider for this you will have a different label name with the title name of OSDD... Example one of my OSDD labels is Macropsia. theres a whole list of diagnosis names now for OSDD. you cant find them on the internet, you will know which OSDD disorder you have when you get diagnosed with it.

what if it turns out that you are having psychotic problems... thats easier to treat then dissociative problems. your treatment providers will just make changes to your meds so that you wont have these problems any more.

I know that its hard sometimes to accept a new diagnosis or probability of having a mental disorder which ever it may be..

maybe remembering something that my own treatment provider told me.... nothing changes getting a diagnosis name. it just answers the question of what has been going on for your whole life time. all thats going to actually in reality change is you will get better and eventually not have a dissociative disorder any more because you will be learning things that will make it possible for you to not dissociate, things like grounding. taking care of yourself, taking care of your daily life skills kinds of stuff.

Thanks for saying.

“DID” is such a huge pill that it goes down quite hard and takes awhile to swallow, months or maybe years. Be gentle to yourself.....it still sounds like things are too recent in discovery, yes?

Everyone goes through doubting DID, so you are not alone in that aspect. To just accept anything as the truthl without doubting is quite foolish, is it not? Doubting can lead to truth whichever it maybe....so keep doubting till in your heart you know for sure what is happening with you.

We still have doubters in our system, but most of us knows and knew the truth. Our doubts stemmed from fears, uncertainty, denial, impatience, disbelief, shock, or non-acceptance. But over time with this universally accepted knowledge within, most of the Others have come around while a few doubters still remain, but not as many as before.

I just say give it time; stay on your program, wait, watch and see what happens taking it a step at a time. You don’t have to accept any of this mmediately....just let it grow on you which I suppose is a good way of saying it.

If the meds start working, then there you go. I took antipsychotics for a little bit, it didn’t take away the voices...but it sure made us brain dead, so we quit them. We’re not psychotic anyways.

Hopefully you’ll find your peace soon enough.