We have a problem...TW probably

-sigh- Previously Beyond did not remember what happened with an ex (only ex so far and likely the only one for a long while). Well he remembered. And he didn't take it well at all. He threw stuff, tore stuff (actually cut up a shirt that luckily wasn't important), he cut us, and wrote some rather...disturbing details about what he wanted to do to said ex.
Frankly I am not at all surprised that he reacted this way. But that still leaves the problem, what to do with him? He doesn't really like to talk about...anything really. I mean he loaths therapists. So really I'm just kind of at a loss.

Probably just needs some time to calm down. Maybe get some exercise, write out some angry thoughts, talk to someone. Anger sometimes explodes, but often when you let someone get it out it calms after a while.

Actions do speak louder than words. We have one like that. What works for us with him is 1.Let him know we understand & feel the same 2. Let him get it out....pound on pillows, throw soft things, scream (usually in shower cuz neighbors) cut up things, tear up paper (something about the sound adds to it)anything. 3. Make him understand that cutting or anything like that hurts us is the same as what ex did & that's not acceptable. We have been hurt enough. But writing whatever on paper is acceptable. Even cutting or tearing it up afterwards is fine. Actually, we prefer dealing with him then ones that hold it in. Another of ours has the exact same feelings but tries to be logical, *mature*, would not display any outward anger. Uses words like forgiving, get over it. All the while seething inside. We find that much harder to deal with.Take care of yourself. Hope this helped. Know how scary it is.

unfortunately there isnt much you can do. you see with DID there is something called sense of agency. everyone (alters and the one they reside with in has this)

Sense of agency is things like what each alters job, purpose, reason for being created is, who and what they are, how much control they have, what triggers them to take control to do their job, purpose, reason for being created, lots of stuff.

if it is this alters sense of agency to take control and deal with anger and express anger, than thats what they are going to do regardless of anything anyone says or does to prevent them from doing their job, purpose reason for being created.

that said you may not be able to do anything about this alter but you can do things to protect yourself and everyone else. when ever my anger alter Red put everyone in danger by being a danger to their self and others my treatment provider hospitalized us. this way Red could continue to express herself in what ever ways needed and at the same time everyone was safe, including my family and friends may have tried to help but could have gotten hurt in the process.

my suggestion is if you have a treatment provider talk with them and maybe you all can come up with a "safety plan" that will keep you all safe while this angry alter continues to do their sense of agency.