[ACrystalGem]

I saw my borough health provider's psychiatrist yesterday. She said she was glad I'd been seeing a DID specialist for 2 years, but I needed to focus on the other mental health issues I have: CPTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety and Depression. She also said I couldn't see both my DID therapist and the new psychotherapist at the same time as well.

I have barely stopped crying since she said that. My alters were all in a state of panic, but I've not wanted to communicate with them (or anyone else) as it feels physically painful. We are all scared we'll lose someone who really understands us, and be left with a therapist on the NHS who is free (good), but who will probably know very little about DID (bad). I'm not expecting an expert, but DID is pretty rare in the United Kingdom, and when I searched three years ago for a DID specialist, there was only 2 people in London who did it. Also, 10 months ago, I had a mental health crisis, and the borough's home treatment team treated me like absolute crap. I got racism, biphobia and a hell of a lot of lies from them.

I've told myself I won't make any decisions until I speak to the new psychologist, and ask him about his knowledge of DID - if he's gonna help me with all my mental health issues, then it should be all of them. I know my other issues need addressing, and that thoughts of self-harm and suicide increase A LOT during the winter months. But I am scared. And truthfully, I am ashamed that I have so many issues going on inside me. If it were anyone else, I'd tell them as a survivor of 20 years of sexual abuse, it would be a miracle to not have issues, but I can't say that to myself and believe it.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by ACrystalGem

I saw my borough health provider's psychiatrist yesterday. She said she was glad I'd been seeing a DID specialist for 2 years, but I needed to focus on the other mental health issues I have: CPTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety and Depression. She also said I couldn't see both my DID therapist and the new psychotherapist at the same time as well.

I have barely stopped crying since she said that. My alters were all in a state of panic, but I've not wanted to communicate with them (or anyone else) as it feels physically painful. We are all scared we'll lose someone who really understands us, and be left with a therapist on the NHS who is free (good), but who will probably know very little about DID (bad). I'm not expecting an expert, but DID is pretty rare in the United Kingdom, and when I searched three years ago for a DID specialist, there was only 2 people in London who did it. Also, 10 months ago, I had a mental health crisis, and the borough's home treatment team treated me like absolute crap. I got racism, biphobia and a hell of a lot of lies from them.

I've told myself I won't make any decisions until I speak to the new psychologist, and ask him about his knowledge of DID - if he's gonna help me with all my mental health issues, then it should be all of them. I know my other issues need addressing, and that thoughts of self-harm and suicide increase A LOT during the winter months. But I am scared. And truthfully, I am ashamed that I have so many issues going on inside me. If it were anyone else, I'd tell them as a survivor of 20 years of sexual abuse, it would be a miracle to not have issues, but I can't say that to myself and believe it.

sometimes taking care of other problems first helps DID.

Example not all my treatment providers were specialized in DID. we worked to stabilize my bipolar, CPSD (Now called Acute Stress Disorder/PTSD in me since 2013), anxiety and depression, this helped my DID so much because I gained a better understanding of what triggers my dissociative symptoms.

the same therapy techniques (grounding, breathing, and other things like CBT, DBT and others) were the same things that my specialized in DID therapists did with me.

my suggestion is maybe this is why they need you to change your focus from your DID to your other problems.... to stabilize and teach you the stuff you will need to work much deeper on your DID when you are ready and equipped to do the work. maybe you can give it a try.

[MickeyCheeky]

It's understandable you'd feel scared, ACrystalGem. It doesnt's sound like a good situation to be in. Please don't be ashamed of yourself. It's not your fault you have to deal with all of this, and it sounds like you're trying your best to cope with it. I hope your new psychologist will be able to help you with DID. I think it's as important as any other MI you may have at the moment, so I don't think it would be fair to just stop treatment. Let us know how it goes. Please don't give up. Sending many hugs to you