[Rive1976]

So all these thoughts are going through my head about what could be going on with me. Last session my therapists was talking about how to soothe my parts ( keep in mind I dont know for certain I have parts) anyway I started to dissociate. Does this mean that I do have parts because I dissociated with mention of them?

[Betty_Banana]

You're asking questions that nobody here is going to have the answers to.There's no way any of us can know what's going on with you

It seems you are trying so hard to fit everything you experience into some kind of illness.And you want all of us to validate what you're saying and agree with you That would be very wrong for any of us to do.

[Amyjay]

I agree with BettyBanana. We just can't answer these things for you.

I will say though - having parts of the self is completely NORMAL. Most people are aware of different parts of themselves. The part that goes to work, the part that loves to ____ (whatever), the part that is a mom, the little part that fears being alone, the teenage part that likes to flirt... Everyone has different parts of their personality.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I agree with BettyBanana. We just can't answer these things for you.

I will say though - having parts of the self is completely NORMAL. Most people are aware of different parts of themselves. The part that goes to work, the part that loves to ____ (whatever), the part that is a mom, the little part that fears being alone, the teenage part that likes to flirt... Everyone has different parts of their personality.

I was talking about soothing child alters. Thats what we were talking about when I started to dissociate. I was just wondering since I did start to dissociate when talking about that was that indicative that I actually have an alter? I dont know why thats a bad question to ask.

[Betty_Banana]

It's not a "bad' question Dnester,it's just that you're indirectly asking to be diagnosed and wanting validation that you have alters.What if someone tells you yes,dissociating when talking about it means you do have alters but you really don't have any at all?What if someone says no but you do?

How is anyone here supposed to know what caused you to dissociate?We are not you,we don't know your triggers.Besides that,every single person dissociates,how are we supposed to know if it was normal dissociation or not?You just said you started to dissociate,how are we to know whether it was boredom,from being tired ot whatever?

You are reaching.Dissociating while talking does not confirm someone has alters,if that's specifically what you're wanting to know.That in itself is no way for you to decide whether you have them or not and it's pretty harmful to you to be asking online and making those decisions about your mental health by what people tell you.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, Dnester I'm afraid I must agree with all of the others. We can't diagnose you or tell you whether you were dissociating or not. Most importantly, we can't tell you for sure whether you have DID or not. You were diagnoes with it if I recall correctly. However it seems like you're having an hard time accepting it. Unfortunately that's something you need to work through in therapy. Acceptance is certainly not easy. But it can be done. I hope you'll be able to accept yourself for who you are, regardless of your diagnosis. Please talk to you therapist about this and see how it goes from there. I believe that's the best thing you can do. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, Dnester I'm afraid I must agree with all of the others. We can't diagnose you or tell you whether you were dissociating or not. Most importantly, we can't tell you for sure whether you have DID or not. You were diagnoes with it if I recall correctly. However it seems like you're having an hard time accepting it. Unfortunately that's something you need to work through in therapy. Acceptance is certainly not easy. But it can be done. I hope you'll be able to accept yourself for who you are, regardless of your diagnosis. Please talk to you therapist about this and see how it goes from there. I believe that's the best thing you can do. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this

I have been diagnosed twice once around 2003 or 2004 and then now. The first person that diagnosed doesnt even remember me enough to tell me anything about how I got diagnosed that and is unwilling to test do to the fact I am on a SSRI and an antipsychotic. She said my parts wont front. Trying to get her to help me is like pulling teeth. She never wants to talk on the phone. Says shes busy so I asked my questions in a letter and got no response. She does not give out email or cell number. Then the therapist I have now admits she has very little experience with DID and was supposed to do supervision under my old Psychologist ( the one who first diagnosed me) but that isnt happening any time soon or maybe not ever. The two people I asked to retest me cant do that because one of them never replied back and one just said they couldnt. I would be lying if I said I am doing well accepting this but that is not the real issue. The real issue is it doesnt fit and I am supposed to start parts work Wed. I told my pdoc that I was diagnosed OSDD and he said alot of what I describe sounds like self talk. He said he cant discredit her diagnosis because she spends much more time with me than he does. Its really just it doesnt make sense. I dont lose time, I dont hear different people in my head, I dont dissociate badly outside of therapy, I dont write or draw differently than myself. I just have weird phrases thay dont even make sense pop in my head. If the stuff I think was like a actual conversation then I would say eh maybe? This all started because I told my therapist I woke up one night and said We need to get some water and then shes like DID! My pdoc said there were other reasons that could of happened but he isnt sure. I cant see him because he is just the pdoc at the community services building. I go there for a free doctor and free meds. He doesnt offer counseling. There are no counselors there. Just doctors and case managers. I am contemplating scary things again because I am done. To me a diagnosis is very important because all therapists treat symptoms based on what diagnosis you have. If we are doing parts work and I have no parts I am wasting my time and her time. I am not getting bettet its just all a waste.

[Betty_Banana]

Parts work can be helpful whether you have a dissociative disorder or not.Just look for yourself at all the posts about inner child work,IFS,etc on this site.To quote Amyjay from her above post:

having parts of the self is completely NORMAL. Most people are aware of different parts of themselves. The part that goes to work, the part that loves to ____ (whatever), the part that is a mom, the little part that fears being alone, the teenage part that likes to flirt... Everyone has different parts of their personality

So I don't get why you are so against doing parts work.I don't get why you have yourself so distressed over this.You keep wondering whether you have DID,OSDD or even alters for that matter,do you realize doing parts work will help not only you but also your therapist in knowing for sure? There's a huge difference in an alter and just an inner child,doing parts work isn't going to change whatever it is you have,if you have alters they will be alters,if not then they won't be.

Are you reading other threads and posts?There's many that may be helpful for you.

[Betty_Banana]

To me a diagnosis is very important because all therapists treat symptoms based on what diagnosis you have

From what you have stated,you have been told what they think it is but not an official diagnosis yet.How do you expect to receive one if you are unwilling to let the professionals do things their way?The longer you keep fighting all this the longer it's going to take.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Betty_Banana

From what you have stated,you have been told what they think it is but not an official diagnosis yet.How do you expect to receive one if you are unwilling to let the professionals do things their way?The longer you keep fighting all this the longer it's going to take.

I was diagnosed in 2003 or 2004 for sure. I dont remember taking a test but my memory is fuzzy about the whole thing anyway. Im not exactly sure what year I was diagnosed so I am going by my daughters age. This one thinks thats what it is but she wont test me because she doesnt know much about DID. I wrote her an email about all my concerns so I guess I have to wait till wed to see what she says.

Originally Posted by Dnester

Last session my therapists was talking about how to soothe my parts ( keep in mind I dont know for certain

You may try, perhaps in presence of T & their input, to pay detailed attention to what is happening when you start to dissociate. For example, what are the first signs, what is it the let's you recognize it etc. Including what's happening around you like venue, thoughts, T topic. Our T pointed out we exhibited signs before we knew it was happening. He saw it starting. It takes many times. But we were able to go from that to figuring out why. We were even able to learn to stop...most of the time!! Take care.

[Amyjay]

Dnester, you don't have to have DID to do parts work. Doing parts work doesn't mean you have DID. A person might. Or they might not. But parts work can be done with anyone. It is NOT specific to DID.

Doing parts work is just working with the different parts of self. Some might be hurt child parts that need soothing, some might be protectors that get angry or act... without as person even having DID or OSDD.

What I am trying to say is it is okay to do parts work whether you believe you have DID or not, whether you in fact have DID or not. That doesn't even matter, because everybody has parts of the self and can benefit from learning to work with those different parts of the personality.

[Rive1976]

When I say parts work I am talking about she wants me to go in and talk to alters I dont even think I have.

[MickeyCheeky]

I hope your therapist will reply soon to you, Dnester. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. You don't deserve it at all. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all fo this

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Dnester

When I say parts work I am talking about she wants me to go in and talk to alters I dont even think I have.

if you feel you dont have alters then you will need to tell her you dont have alters. OSDD doesnt mean a person has alters anyway. the diagnostics are that they have .............less than marked............

maybe she is trying to do an assessment on you. maybe she is trying to find how how much you can and cant do, you have been asking for a diagnosis, you have been asking to be retested....

something you may not know...........many mental disorders require a treatment provider to do a preliminary assessment of documenting what a persons life and abilities are and what their problems, symptoms are.

she may be trying to do what you want by asking you to do things that you may or may not be able to do, in order to document your abilities, life situaitons and symptoms.

the only way she can find out if you have...........less than marked.....diagnostic criteria stuff is by having you do things and then tell her how that is working out...

asking you to "go inside and talk with your parts" is something even normal people can do...

let me show you what a part is.....

when you go to church do you talk the same way in church that you would when you are here at psych central...

on a normal basis the answer would be no, when a person goes to church they talk about religion, they are quieter, their behavior is that which would be acceptable for being in a church. this is a normal part of someone who is religious.

another situation when you are at home watching tv, a movie are you behaving the same way that you would be behaving in a movie theater... of course not, in a movie theater a person must be fully clothed, must be quiet and not use cell phones. at home one can kick off their shoes, put their feet up on the furniture, raid the fridge and talk to who ever is around. text on their cell phones, talk on their cell phones. this is a completely normal part of self.

Now when I am at home watching a movie or in a movie theater can I think to my self ... am I thirsty, do I need a drink before this movie starts? of course I can, my brain is functioning and I can use reason and logic and "get in touch with my movie watching self and ask this side of me if I am thirsty and need a drink. this is completely normal thing every human being can do.

my point is Dnester every single human being has parts of their self, talks to their self inside and aloud. All she is asking of you is that you talk to yourself inside (not aloud).

you keep saying you have all these random thoughts popping into your head that you want to know what they are... well this is how you find out what they are and why you are having them... by looking inside yourself to all those normal parts of your self for the answers.

example I dont have alternate personalities any more in the sense of having DID. I have normal parts of self. last night I was tucking one of my children in bed. a thought about kangaroos popped into my head, where did that come from and why did my brain just think about kangaroos? ok time to ask inside ......Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes, asked myself why did I just think about kangaroos? where did that come from, (my first thought was kangaroos are animals.) ok I do not have a kangaroo in the house oh gosh wait a minute do any of the children have a kangaroo toy? what does tucking this child into bed have in common with kangaroos where is this thought coming from. ....I keep talking to myself until the answer pops into my head as to why I am suddenly randomly thinking about kangaroos.

my point is your therapist may be trying to help you to figure out why you are having random thoughts by doing parts therapy. it is perfectly ok to tell your therapist..... I dont have alternate personalities do you mean you would like me to talk inside to myself about this (what ever the issue is that you are working on)

also if you feel this treatment provider is treating you and your problems wrong it is ok to contact the state board of clinical social workers and report the treatment provider for treating you as if you have a dissociative disorder and you feel you do not. the ethics board will do an investigation.

if I remember right you are the one that said you dont want a new therapist or anyone other than the two you have. so now because you have decided to stay with these therapists you will need to find a way to do the work that they ask you to do or, stop seeing them and accept you are how ever you are.

thats how therapy works. if you dont believe you have the problem a treatment provider is treating you for you tell them and you move on to another one. or you decide whether you want to do the work or leave therapy and just stay the way you are with and how ever you are.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

if you feel you dont have alters then you will need to tell her you dont have alters. OSDD doesnt mean a person has alters anyway. the diagnostics are that they have .............less than marked............

maybe she is trying to do an assessment on you. maybe she is trying to find how how much you can and cant do, you have been asking for a diagnosis, you have been asking to be retested....

something you may not know...........many mental disorders require a treatment provider to do a preliminary assessment of documenting what a persons life and abilities are and what their problems, symptoms are.

she may be trying to do what you want by asking you to do things that you may or may not be able to do, in order to document your abilities, life situaitons and symptoms.

the only way she can find out if you have...........less than marked.....diagnostic criteria stuff is by having you do things and then tell her how that is working out...

asking you to "go inside and talk with your parts" is something even normal people can do...

let me show you what a part is.....

when you go to church do you talk the same way in church that you would when you are here at psych central...

on a normal basis the answer would be no, when a person goes to church they talk about religion, they are quieter, their behavior is that which would be acceptable for being in a church. this is a normal part of someone who is religious.

another situation when you are at home watching tv, a movie are you behaving the same way that you would be behaving in a movie theater... of course not, in a movie theater a person must be fully clothed, must be quiet and not use cell phones. at home one can kick off their shoes, put their feet up on the furniture, raid the fridge and talk to who ever is around. text on their cell phones, talk on their cell phones. this is a completely normal part of self.

Now when I am at home watching a movie or in a movie theater can I think to my self ... am I thirsty, do I need a drink before this movie starts? of course I can, my brain is functioning and I can use reason and logic and "get in touch with my movie watching self and ask this side of me if I am thirsty and need a drink. this is completely normal thing every human being can do.

my point is Dnester every single human being has parts of their self, talks to their self inside and aloud. All she is asking of you is that you talk to yourself inside (not aloud).

you keep saying you have all these random thoughts popping into your head that you want to know what they are... well this is how you find out what they are and why you are having them... by looking inside yourself to all those normal parts of your self for the answers.

example I dont have alternate personalities any more in the sense of having DID. I have normal parts of self. last night I was tucking one of my children in bed. a thought about kangaroos popped into my head, where did that come from and why did my brain just think about kangaroos? ok time to ask inside ......Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes, asked myself why did I just think about kangaroos? where did that come from, (my first thought was kangaroos are animals.) ok I do not have a kangaroo in the house oh gosh wait a minute do any of the children have a kangaroo toy? what does tucking this child into bed have in common with kangaroos where is this thought coming from. ....I keep talking to myself until the answer pops into my head as to why I am suddenly randomly thinking about kangaroos.

my point is your therapist may be trying to help you to figure out why you are having random thoughts by doing parts therapy. it is perfectly ok to tell your therapist..... I dont have alternate personalities do you mean you would like me to talk inside to myself about this (what ever the issue is that you are working on)

also if you feel this treatment provider is treating you and your problems wrong it is ok to contact the state board of clinical social workers and report the treatment provider for treating you as if you have a dissociative disorder and you feel you do not. the ethics board will do an investigation.

if I remember right you are the one that said you dont want a new therapist or anyone other than the two you have. so now because you have decided to stay with these therapists you will need to find a way to do the work that they ask you to do or, stop seeing them and accept you are how ever you are.

thats how therapy works. if you dont believe you have the problem a treatment provider is treating you for you tell them and you move on to another one. or you decide whether you want to do the work or leave therapy and just stay the way you are with and how ever you are.

I have tried that. The going inside and trying to find out why I had a random thought but it never leads to anything because it never makes sense. For example yesterday I had the thought I have a headache and I only get headaches when I am sick. Neither of which were true. Its absolute nonsense. I also had the thought I am going to take you to Greenbriar. Never heard of any place of the sorts.