[Breaking Dawn]

I also am sleep deprived. But I feel like I've been in a train wreck. My others have been super angry at me & like to physically harm. Oh, well. One minute at a time, & I pray.

[lemonSys]

[ sitting with @Breaking Dawn ]

[stahrgeyzer]

Sorry to hear about both of you are having sleep issues. It's not fun! I've been there in the past. For me depression has always fixed that so these days I sleep well.

[lemonSys]

Stuff has been coming up. Stuff that casts darkness inside. I find writings in my journal(s) about stuff. Does stuff ever stop for good?

— lemonSys

[stahrgeyzer]

Calling someone a robot is supposed to be an insult but I would love to be a robot because they are emotionless and immune to pain. I'm pretty good at numbing at least a little so then I feel like a robot.................................................................................................

[lemonSys]

@stahrgeyzer

…ditto…

[ 🤖 —-> 🚫😣 ]

[stahrgeyzer]

It always has and always will be painful talking to people. Guess it's never going to change

[lemonSys]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

It always has and always will be painful talking to people. Guess it's never going to change

This comment reminds me of a quote I recently came across. I hope it gives you a moment of “non-icky” feelings (it made me kinda chuckle):

“Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.”

Not sure if you can relate per se, but figured I’d share for a try at a smile.

— lemonSys

[lemonSys]

Finally got some sleep. At this specific moment I’m feelin’ pretty ok

[stahrgeyzer]

never mind..............

[lemonSys]

Therapy yesterday was….”new”…drained today

[mikeywashere]

therapy in a few days. not sure who's fronting. my head hurts a little... otherwise okay. i kind of miss our therapist, she's always been good to us. i'll see her around 1pm on wednesday. if i get there early i might get myself some bubble tea from a nearby store...

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by lemonSys

This comment reminds me of a quote I recently came across. I hope it gives you a moment of “non-icky” feelings (it made me kinda chuckle):

“Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.”

Not sure if you can relate per se, but figured I’d share for a try at a smile.

— lemonSys

Thanks, this made me smile (I've been encountering too many who....

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by mikeywashere

therapy in a few days. not sure who's fronting. my head hurts a little... otherwise okay. i kind of miss our therapist, she's always been good to us. i'll see her around 1pm on wednesday. if i get there early i might get myself some bubble tea from a nearby store...

Thank you for joining us, @mikeywashere! Wishing you all the best.

[Breaking Dawn]

Not been doing really wonderful lately. Too many things keep happening. But so very grateful for our wonderful forums & all of you. Just wish I could find my stronger self, the way I almost was before.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by mikeywashere

therapy in a few days. not sure who's fronting. my head hurts a little... otherwise okay. i kind of miss our therapist, she's always been good to us. i'll see her around 1pm on wednesday. if i get there early i might get myself some bubble tea from a nearby store...

Thank you for joining mikeywashere

[lemonSys]

@mikeywashere

👋

Brand new ~month(?) ago.
Folks here kind.
Feelin like folks here gettin me.

Hopin you get what lookin for.

Welcome to here.

— lemonySys

[lemonSys]

@Breaking Dawn
Yeah

Ppl tell me breathe so I tellin you. Also they sayin eat. So I tellin you that too.

[ Easy to forget to do the stupid stuff, huh? ]

— lemonSys

[lemonSys]

Toats crazy.
Switchin lots.
Got someone new.
Passed her in the head-hallway.
She was talkin to T.

Hopin new year brings settle. Fast.

— lemonSys

or 🍋 Sys

or whatever

[Breaking Dawn]

I went out yesterday to do a little shopping & it all went very well. I didn't do another goal that is very important to me, so I have to work on that.

[stahrgeyzer]

@Breaking Dawn Congrats! I know how that can be at times.

[cool09]

How do you know when you have an identity disorder? I had a depersonalization disorder when I was younger. Felt really detached from myself and felt "unreal". I feel like I am different in different situations, like I don't feel exactly like myself.

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi, @cool09! Thank you very much for posting here. This is the kind of conversation that I need. I experience all of those things you described. I don't know what is the official diagnostic qualification for identity disorder. But at various times I'm pretty sure I have one. I sometimes ask myself, who am I, or what am I.

[cool09]

Most of my life I find myself in situations where I don't feel like myself. It's horrible.

[stahrgeyzer]

Everything was a nightmare in hell for this body but the other day I woke up a completely different person and have been feeling very good. If I could stay here things would be great for this body but it never happens and some of us are getting dreadfully tired of switching. This time the change was so drastic that it was laughable. I have all the memories but often wonder if it would be better to not remember the memories of the previous people because they're usually so painful and it's not just the memories but the deep sinking feelings of helplessness and fear and worry and indescribable feelings like someone who was literally in hell. I feel terribly sorry for the person before me because they paced back and forth in a small dark room day and night for what feels like weeks in such pain as if they were waiting endlessly for an angel to save them. Well I guess maybe I am there angel. When I entered this body I could feel that person sinking into darkness falling asleep finally at peace. I have the memories of this body but my own memories are at the tip of my tongue. I feel like my name is Ryan, and I came to save my very good friend. Rest in peace!