[childofchaos831]

I don't remember the weekend at all... I need to do some research about what happened between Saturday and this morning... I've been losing a lot of time lately and the IOP therapist is really noticing.

[Solnutty]

I’m back! I was gone for two years from this forum I think. I tried a Facebook group, but it’s not the same as this. Fuzzybear, you’re awesome! Good to see you.

wondering where all the threads has gone from the garden

namely my stories for the littles thread. was going to start adding to it again..

I'm a bit confused here, but having just arrived here and believing that this might be where I belong, I thought I'd better say hi. But how can I know? If I don't understand?

Originally Posted by extirpatealone

I'm a bit confused here, but having just arrived here and believing that this might be where I belong, I thought I'd better say hi. But how can I know? If I don't understand?

ask away

we are happy to answer any questions you may have!

welcome

[Nikdoug]

Hi everyone! I just joined today and am hoping having a support group will help me better understand and navigate my depression and dissociation. I'm ready to feel like a person again.
I'm currently taking Remeron in the evenings and Wellbutrin in the mornings for my depression but am plagued by the dissociation. Without going into too many details, almost three years ago, I experienced several traumatic events within seven months of each other including a near death experience, major hospitalization, and death of my mother. Soon after my mother's burial is when the dissociation started.
I constantly feel as if I'm in a dream. I know I'm not but it's like I'm looking at the world through a heavy fog. I'm often forgetful, lack concentration, and get disoriented.
My psychiatrist said I'm having a cognitive response to the trauma I've experienced. It has improved some over the past two years but it still persists.
Can anyone offer inspiration, advice, or self-care tips that have helped them overcome? Thank you!

I am in pain today

I have also not slept

so it isn't a great start to the day.

I have however eaten breakfast

Originally Posted by Nikdoug

Hi everyone! I just joined today and am hoping having a support group will help me better understand and navigate my depression and dissociation. I'm ready to feel like a person again.
I'm currently taking Remeron in the evenings and Wellbutrin in the mornings for my depression but am plagued by the dissociation. Without going into too many details, almost three years ago, I experienced several traumatic events within seven months of each other including a near death experience, major hospitalization, and death of my mother. Soon after my mother's burial is when the dissociation started.
I constantly feel as if I'm in a dream. I know I'm not but it's like I'm looking at the world through a heavy fog. I'm often forgetful, lack concentration, and get disoriented.
My psychiatrist said I'm having a cognitive response to the trauma I've experienced. It has improved some over the past two years but it still persists.
Can anyone offer inspiration, advice, or self-care tips that have helped them overcome? Thank you!

welcome- it is really nice to meet you..

anxiety's been bad over the last 24 hours

yesterday I had a panic attack over a phone call I need to make on friday (I had phone conversations, hate them), and today- as well as being anxious about that, I am anxious about a few friends who are going for coronavirus tests- which I hope go well

anxiety all round..

[Nikdoug]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

anxiety's been bad over the last 24 hours


yesterday I had a panic attack over a phone call I need to make on friday (I had phone conversations, hate them), and today- as well as being anxious about that, I am anxious about a few friends who are going for coronavirus tests- which I hope go well


anxiety all round..

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm the same way when making some phone calls that aren't a big deal to others. For a little while, even checking emails gave me anxiety. Even though I can't make the anxiety go away, I can tell you that you're not alone. Hang in there.

[Alatea]

suffering...speechless...crying...I try to be here, but I keep being pulled back into past moments, to re-live the pain again and again and again...
someone I care a lot about stopped showing up online days ago...I cannot stop thinking something awful has happened to them...it is a massive trigger, all coping mechanisms are back on, and I feel as if I am finally losing my mind for good...

Originally Posted by Alatea

suffering...speechless...crying...I try to be here, but I keep being pulled back into past moments, to re-live the pain again and again and again...
someone I care a lot about stopped showing up online days ago...I cannot stop thinking something awful has happened to them...it is a massive trigger, all coping mechanisms are back on, and I feel as if I am finally losing my mind for good...

I know it's hard.

but we are all here for you

do you want to tell us about this friend?. what do you do online. play a game?. talk?.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Alatea

suffering...speechless...crying...I try to be here, but I keep being pulled back into past moments, to re-live the pain again and again and again...
someone I care a lot about stopped showing up online days ago...I cannot stop thinking something awful has happened to them...it is a massive trigger, all coping mechanisms are back on, and I feel as if I am finally losing my mind for good...

[Alatea]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I know it's hard.

but we are all here for you

do you want to tell us about this friend?. what do you do online. play a game?. talk?.

Thank you for being there...
It is a friend on a self-help chat.

But, all we can do for another person who suffers is be there when we can and offer a kind word, as you just did. I think I have a hard time accepting that I cannot do anything else for the people I grew attached to and care a lot about.

I can only hope that all of us who struggle can find strength within not to let go when it becomes tough, and to reach out when we feel we cannot cope on our own...

[Alatea]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Thank you Fuzzybear

Originally Posted by Alatea

Thank you for being there...
It is a friend on a self-help chat.

But, all we can do for another person who suffers is be there when we can and offer a kind word, as you just did. I think I have a hard time accepting that I cannot do anything else for the people I grew attached to and care a lot about.

I can only hope that all of us who struggle can find strength within not to let go when it becomes tough, and to reach out when we feel we cannot cope on our own...

that is why we are here!.

we are all struggling, and together we will get through it. you are welcome to post here when ever you need.

how are you feeling today?. do you feel any better?

glad it's the weekend.

had a really tough week with anxiety and flashbacks. I hope I can relax for a little while

it is far too early on a sunday morning to say " I have nothing to do for the rest of the day", but I don't

may listen to part 2 of the mythology story I've been listening to

it's about how the polynesian demigod maui snaired the sun

I mean it may only be 45 minits out my day, but it's something..

feel crappy

no sleep but obviously, but I'm not doing anything... it's only tuesday and I'm thinking the rest of my week's this- no plans, nothing

blah what's the point

[Amyjay]

it's been a pretty rough weekend. This

Possible trigger:

"I can't breathe"

is triggering some pretty intense flashbacks. Have been doing lots and lots and lots of grounding.

I am feeling depressed, but hopeful.

this week I have had a few calls which I hope go some way to getting what I want (which is mainly to move and to have a better mental health team).

we'll see..

yesterday I had another one of those calls

it wasn't bad, but it also wasn't the result I was hoping for (so I was a little depressed about that)

but apart from that.. mood's good, eating well, sleeping not at all (so the norm for me), and I don't have to shower today- it is always a plus!

lots of thoughts of previous trauma and even quite a severe panic attack

not a great start to the weekend. actually quite a horrible day

I wish my brain didn't jump ahead of itself. (could have sworn I posted in this thread this morning)

anyway, not a great day for me really, nothing that needed doing, not a great mood, and not really much to look forward too (though the plus side is that I did eat something)

[*Beth*]

I'm losing memories of posts, etc. I've written. I read a post, want to comment on it, scroll down to read other posts in the thread and see my name and apparently something I've written a month ago, few days ago, a day ago, 3 hours ago. No memory at all of having previously read, let alone posted, on the thread. This happens over and over for at least a year; much longer, I think. It's scaring me. It's as though someone else is using me to write things that I have no knowledge of.

Brought it up with my therapist today; her comment was that she doesn't have much experience with memory work () and that I should bring it up with my pdoc. Load of shite. She said that because we have to do teletherapy and she has "changed the format" of our therapy while we were in the center of doing trauma work. The new format is straight CBT. Drop the trauma, be grateful for the work I've done (), carry on.

I'm checking out, going to sleep. I have to keep myself safe. I've left and someone with a simpler mind will take my place, sit in my chair, watch that stupid camera. While wearing headphones.