[lemonSys]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Possible Trigger

I knew someone who experienced severe depression (possibly for years). In therapy, with a good therapist, she found that the depression was in one of her parts (not in the whole of her, or her whole system). This has been helping her...

I had a ''professional'' (or he had me) who snarled at me and put me down when I told him I had a teddy bear for my inner cub. He had previously asked me what her name was and talked about......(I won't post that as it would probably be triggering to some people )

I wasn't harming anyone He was a complete loser and A hole. I doubt if he even ''achieved'' a mediocre university degree... yet he was out there, ''helping'' people and ''diagnosing'' them.

I bearly (spelling intentional) think of him any more. I didn't appreciate being traumatised by him though in addition to being traumatised by the parental units.

Please feel free to NOT respond to this post if you do not ''like'' it. Thanks

Respect to all


Thinking of deleting this. Hope everyone is safe tonight

Please don’t delete! I appreciate you being brave and saying all of this. It’s your truth, your feelings, your experiences and every word is VALID!

Unfortunately, there are “not so great” people out there in all the helping professions. We, the consumers of any service, but in particular the helping services, aren’t hesitant to praise good qualities/outcomes/characteristics/persons in general, but we are hesitant - afraid even - to point out the bad of all those. This is important information for other consumers to have to make informed decisions. This is important information for the providers to hear in order to self-reflect, learn, grow, and, hopefully, become a better helper to others - I realize the “not so great” ones likely won’t make the effort to listen and reflect and grow, but I can hope and try to believe in humanity (at least part of the time I can).

Anyhow, I said all that to let you know I think this post of yours took guts, that I, and others, are glad you spoke your truth, and I think/hope it will help others speak their truths, too.

— lemonSys

[Breaking Dawn]

Been off & on dizzy &/or dissociating, missing spaces of time, etc. I fulfilled a goal this morning. I'm working on another one. I hope I succeed. It's really noisy right now. But in some ways today has been better than recently.

[lemonSys]

@Breaking Dawn —

Kudos on accomplishing a goal - especially when feeling as you do! Yay you!
— lemonSys

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by lemonSys

Please don’t delete! I appreciate you being brave and saying all of this. It’s your truth, your feelings, your experiences and every word is VALID!

Unfortunately, there are “not so great” people out there in all the helping professions. We, the consumers of any service, but in particular the helping services, aren’t hesitant to praise good qualities/outcomes/characteristics/persons in general, but we are hesitant - afraid even - to point out the bad of all those. This is important information for other consumers to have to make informed decisions. This is important information for the providers to hear in order to self-reflect, learn, grow, and, hopefully, become a better helper to others - I realize the “not so great” ones likely won’t make the effort to listen and reflect and grow, but I can hope and try to believe in humanity (at least part of the time I can).

Anyhow, I said all that to let you know I think this post of yours took guts, that I, and others, are glad you spoke your truth, and I think/hope it will help others speak their truths, too.

— lemonSys

Thanks lemonSys. I think that's true. Nobody likes pointing out the bad or sub optimal in service providers, in fact it can be scary.

[Fuzzybear]

Kudos Breaking Dawn

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling better each day it seems since the purge. Been thinking about my psychologist who diagnosed me with DID and wondering what he would say now. The world is slowly changing for the better. It's been my observation that the majority of academic scientists have some form of a spiritual belief, albeit most won't come out and say it publicly. All 3 of my long term psychologists had spiritual beliefs. Not organized religion, mind you, but they definitely believe in spirits and that something unexplainable is happening.

Most EEs, SEs, and physicists I've know or worked with have some spiritual belief, which comes to maybe 3 dozen scientists. That's not a good statistic, but it seems like more are becoming open minded.

Personally I can hardly wait to see DID in the DSM in a few decades from now. IMO it will have no resemblance to the present diagnoses, and models.

[Breaking Dawn]

So far today I'm doing a bit better. And this morning I was able to fulfill a goal that means a lot to me. I feel kind of blessed because of that.

[stahrgeyzer]

@Breaking Dawn Awesome! Even on bad days I think it's better to see as much of the good as possible. Focusing on the bad will attract more bad.

[stahrgeyzer]

Looks like I'll be leaving missouri and going to California a lot sooner! Yesterday my sublessor said she's moving out and I have to move out by Dec 8th but for past 6ish months I haven't found anyone else who is subleasing a room that I can afford except for the druggie demonic evil person I live with here (but she's learning valuable life lessons and will one day be a nice loving person who doesn't abuse animals and humans). The airbnb in California has given me nightmare memories so there's no way I'll go back to the airbnb life again. Going to California in 2 weeks to search for my dream will be good. Albeit homeless but would rather be a happy homeless person in California wilderness than miserable missourian living with a demonic-like human.

Happy times ahead finally!!
Have a wonderful thanksgiving tomorrow everyone

[Breaking Dawn]

God bless you, @stahrgeyzer! I'll be rooting for you! And happy thanksgiving to you too!

[lemonSys]

@stahrgeyzer —

Big adventures await! Good luck to you on this journey - such bravery!

— lemonSys

[lemonSys]

Lots of chatter. Sad. Worried bout mom. But, also, scale tilted in favor of “ok” and not “bad”.

— lemonSys

[stahrgeyzer]

@lemonSys Thank you! I'll need all the luck possible on this journey. I'm trying to be brave but frightened inside. Hope everything's going well for you!

[Breaking Dawn]

Having a very difficult time. Very hard. I have a plan. I keep trying.

[lemonSys]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Having a very difficult time. Very hard. I have a plan. I keep trying.

Sending strength.

— lemonSys

[lemonSys]

✅ Feelin’ good overall.
✅ Kinda anxious.
✅ No tears today for first time in a few days.
✅ Ignoring, avoiding, denying reality

— lemonSys

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by lemonSys

✅ Feelin’ good overall.
✅ Kinda anxious.
✅ No tears today for first time in a few days.
✅ Ignoring, avoiding, denying reality

— lemonSys

[lemonSys]

[ …feelin’ like tea party with a penguin, a turtle, and a princess is in my future … ]

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by lemonSys

[ …feelin’ like tea party with a penguin, a turtle, and a princess is in my future … ]

Like the Unbirthday Party in Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking-Glass?

[lemonSys]

Been a “fast n furious” couple days (was triggered); am exhausted. BUT am thankful for my support system and am finding the light again…tomorrow is a new day

[stahrgeyzer]

I’m back in California. One of these days I’d like to see my DID psychologist again because there’s no memory of alters for awhile. All that’s left is little Paul. I still age slide but supposedly that’s not an alter.

[Breaking Dawn]

Congratulations, @stahrgeyzer! It's great that you are actually back in your California, where you were wishing to be. That sounds like a good idea, seeing the DID psychologist again. So many changes since your last visit. Best of luck to you, stahrgeyzer!

[lemonSys]

@stahrgeyzer —

Glad to hear you made it safe!

Hope you get (re)settled soon. Positive vibes and super strength your way

— lemonSys

[stahrgeyzer]

I got lucky and found a good airbnb, a safe one, but the airbnb owner asked me if I accidentally locked the bathroom door. I was like, "Noooo, there's no way!" But later on it hit me like a ton of bricks that throughout my entire life people have accused me of doing things like that. I've told my past therapists there's a part of me that gets up in the middle of the night and occasionally does naughty things. If it's true that something is in me again then I'm going to sink like a rock. Hopefully I can be purged again!

[lemonSys]

Although I have not slept in over 48 hours (I’ve tried), I am actually feeling awake, alert, grounded, and even “oriented x3” as the ppl in the white jackets like to say