[kimmydawn]

i wish there was a safe place to hide after hard t's like tonite's. i'm left with all these residual feelings and have no clue what to do with them...

any suggestions on emotional safety after hard t's or how to pull away from the feelings that remain and make us feel so helpless?

i'm interested in any suggestions that anyone has. we need to feel safe and ok after t...not like this.

thank you in advance,

Surviving the Emergency Stage. pg. 75

(slightly amended by me from The Courage to Heal third ed. ISBN 0-06-095066-8 )

♥ Don't hurt or try to kill yourself. You deserve to live. If you start feeling suicidal or self-destructive, reach out.
♥ Know that you're not going crazy. What you're going through is a recognized part of the healing process.
♥ Find people you can talk to. Don't try to bear it alone.
♥ Get skilled professional support.
♥ Get support from other survivors. It's unlikely that anyone other than another survivor can listen as much as you'll need to talk.
♥ Allow yourself to obsess. Don't make things worse by hating yourself for being where you are.
♥ Do as many nice things for yourself as possible. (watch safe comedy movie, snuggle with teddy bears, read comforting books, etc. blankie? long soak in tub?)
♥ Drop what isn't essential in your life. Release the pressure any way you can. This means dropping unsupportive people, quitting activities, lightening your work load, getting extra child care.
♥ Create a safe area in your home. You need at least one place where you feel safe.
♥ Watch your intake of drugs and alcohol. Repeatedly numbing your feelings will only prolong the crisis.
♥ Get out of abusive situations If you're currently in a situation where you're being abused, get out of it.
♥ Sit tight and ride out the storm. Your decision-making capability is limited right now. Except for gettign out of abusive situations, the emergency stage is usually not a good time for making major life changes.
♥ Remind yourself/ves that you're brave. This is a challenging, scary, difficult period. You don't have to do anything but live through it.
♥ Remember to breathe. Stay as connected to your body as you can.
♥ Develop a belief in something greater than yourself. Spirituality can give you inspiration and strength.
♥ This too shall pass. Your experience tomorrow, or next week, or next year will not the the same as it is right now.

♥ Love yourself/ves. (that one is from me xoxox --zh )

The list in book has references to other pages that expand on the topic listed and strategies to help. I hope this is of some use to you.

Thanks to authors Ellen Bass and Laura Davis for compiling the stories into The Courage to Heal. namaste.

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((Kimmy))))))))))))))))) I am here tonight if you need/want to talk

[kimmydawn]

wow. thank you ((((((((((((((((((((((((( zh )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

i'm printing that out! i'm somewhat pulled away from it today. it's still there but not like it was last nite. thank you for typing that out for me. it was very kind.

thank you for being there for me last nite as well. it was majorly appreciated!

you're special

[kimmydawn]

thank you (((((((((((((((((( wantto )))))))))))))))))))))))

are you feeling better?

[nothemama8]

Kimmy were always here for ya
Do you have a safe place set up for yourself, have someone, hubby, to watch little man and get away for a while
Angie

[kimmydawn]

ty angie. little man is always gone for the nite or until bedtime on t nites. i set it up that way, so that i could go ahead and "feel" and think about what i need to. if i had to come straight home from t and care for ppls, i would remember absolutely none of my sessions i'm sure. this was i can't at least process what i have access to.

ty so much for caring. you're so good to me i'm much farther away from it today. not normal but close to it. i'm glad...sometimes the residual feelings can last for a few days and that can be hard. i thought last nite that i was in for it for a few days, but it wasn't the case this time

thank you again. how are you?

[nothemama8]

Kimmy we're doin good so far, I posted in general needing great minds then kudos for those who are helping me with a letter, plus tonight should be interesting we're having a PJ party, one of the girls is in small crisis situation and we have to keep her here over night she's symptamatic and can't get in safe place so where it tonight , should be interesting
Will keep ya posted as I may be on all night
Angie

[wanttoheal]

hi kimmy, no, sick
Sorry I havent been there for you. Did you switch t back to tuesdays again?

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((((( wantto )))))))))))))))))))))))))

feel better honey. i had to go to t last night (thurs) because he was going to be off friday. i'll go back to friday's next week. he really pushed. me thinks he knows he was gonna be off and could recover ok and that i couldn't call and go off on him

[wanttoheal]

haha ((((((((((((((((kimmy)))))))))))) I'm sorry it was such a hard session though, that makes it hard. Hope your weekend is better.

[kimmydawn]

it probably won't be, wantto but thank you for saying that...lots going on here

love,

[h0kie]

I'm sorry your session was rough. But I suppose it is just one more step on the path to wellness, right? I bet that is really hard to remember when you are upset.

If things get bad and you need anything, feel free to message hubby and I. We can at least sit and talk with you so you don't feel alone.

Sending you good thoughts.

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((( 1day )))))))))))))))))) have i told you lately how much i appreciate y'all? i may take you up on it i thank you so much.

[h0kie]

I expect you take us up on it. It is the least we could do after you've helped me/us so much.

((((((((((kd))))))))))

I highly recommend the book Courage To Heal to those who have not read it.

Petunia

[prism]

kd, this isn't exactly what you're asking about but you mentioned that you might forget what happened in therapy-- the most helpful thing my t- has done is start recording my sessions for me. then i listen to it before the next time and it really helps a lot with those amnesic walls. sincerely, prism