[prism]

hi. i have a heart condition and need to get surgery sometime soon. waiting on tests.
today, i had a terrible speLl" it really scared me and my h. treats me like it's no big deal. treats me bad for wanting to call my cardiologist. it sounds terrible when i write it, but he is always right.
i live in a pigsty. there is no amount of work i can do to better it. i'm trying to get rid of stuff. it's just like my whole life, i can't get ahead.
i told h i wanted to separate and then took it all back. my t is out of town and i did not call the cardiologist because i would rahter deal with my heart being bad than my h- bad treatment of me. i think i am stuck.
the last time something like this happened i almost ki**ed myself.. but i had had alcohol. i can still think. if i have more pain i will go for help. even if i have to go alone. my life is worth saving, isn't it? i have a job to do with my kids still. i promised them.
so why is he such a blockhead? prism

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((prism)))))))))))))) i wouldn't hesitate. go to e.r. or call dr. if you feel this isn't subsiding.

the house will wait, or is there anyone you can call for help.

top on the list is physical health...the rest is secondary.

be safe.

kd

[prism]

thank you for writing kd, my h and i have been disscussing things all day, not really getting any where, but at least talk ing and not talking about divorce anymore i think. i haven't felt any more real bad pains so I'm just bidding my time. this has been the hardest year ever- therapy plus being truely sick sick sick. having to give up most of my mobility. this week my t- is gone and my kids for the most part, I feel so utterly lost. but i had to stop and realize that i'm not struggling over wanting to be alive or not any more. A good scare does that for you I guess, reminds you of how you really do want to live. i will get help if i have another bad episode h- or no- thanks for your support.