Alot of work

I have come to realize I have alot more work to do, actually it is possible I may never really be completely "over" it. But the thing is I need to keep trying, not only for myself but for those around me. I am struggling right now, I am at a point where I am about to just let it all out. I have thought about not talking to my family any longer, but that seems to painful, not only for them but for me as well. I don't know what to do. I do not feel support from them and well actually the opposite. I also often times feel controlled by my family especially my parents, I know I am 21 but all in all it is a complicated matter. My parents had times where they were rather abusive to me, those are just the time I remember though. I am just really trying to debate whether I am going to talk about them in therapy or just to leave them out. I really have been leaving my family out of my therapy. I do not hardly talk about my family. I also think that it is going to trigger some switching and I really do not want that. I do not want to end up as bad as I was last year at about this time. I don't want to end up in the assisted living facility again because of my dissociation, oh what to do?

Jennifer

=( do all you can do - take it one step at a time. Is your t working with you on containment? or does t just finish the session with high charged stuff and let you leave? i am learning that with dissociation, ending session in a containment mode really really helps. so therapy becomes the place to open the jar - then put the lid back on and go back to where i was. i'm sure it won't always be that easy, but t is doing containment after every session so that it is a pattern that i fall in to. it also makes therapy less scary becase i don't fear the overlap of emotions into my life as much.
as for family - only you can decide. i did finally stop talking to my family. it took me 10 years from where you're at to make that choice final (and really they helped the decision with a fight and ultimatium). And things are deffinately better for me now that that happened. I can't say if that would have been true for me at 21. but 31, i barely remember that i have a dad, yet alone fearing the controlling entity that he was in my every waking moment. if i didn't currently like with my mom, i wouldn't be talking to her either. but the ties are so thick with her - almost strangling - i don't know if they can be cut.
try not to look too far ahead right now - just do what you need to. now is not the time for far planning... work on centering and taking care of you.
kiya

Thank you it was encouraging to know that there are others out there who can understand what I am talking about and going through. I am goiing to try to take things slower and I am thainking about asking about the containment piece. Well I hope all is well with you and thanks for replying.