[stahrgeyzer]

I don't know where to post this so thought to make this thread and i can post any stuff i'm going through.

Today's very difficult. Roommates here are giving me a lot of problems and i feel so sad. I wish other people with DID would post here. I just feel so alone. I try to post in other areas of the forum but i really don't feel like i fit in and it gives me such a strong feeling of awkwardness and unwanted.

And there are alters who hide from me. Guess i'm the host now or front stuck. I went to the store and bought some tomatoes for tostadas. This is the 3rd day in a row that a tomato in the refrigerator has disappeared. I don't even feel like washing another one and cutting it up.

[stahrgeyzer]

DID scares me. I don't know who i am but I'm absolutely not those people who've posted in the DID section under my username. But does that even make sense? It was obviously the same physical body. I hold so many memories of our past. Most of the other hosts avoid people like the black plague. But I like talking to people.

What is my future? Will I simply just disappear one day, as fast as I appeared?

[stahrgeyzer]

Another half eaten tomato disappeared in refrigerator the other day. I'm certain it must be one of those alters who hides from me. I told them don't do that unless you reveal yourself. Like, write me a message on a piece of paper or on the computer or phone.

[stahrgeyzer]

When I go for walks I feel so different, almost like a different person. I feel like a motivated person but as soon as I get home and sit down I just feel so unmotivated and kinda sad. It's so weird and different.