So............ I was taken by surprise... had no idea what was going on... just started feeling "gut wrenching unbearable pain".... and started saying the phrase "do you understand"... every other senctence...

This alter... is the "collector" of all the bad, terrbile, demeaning things said to us.... during our marriage... by my husband... by my Mom.. by my Dad.. by my sister...

and when she is in control.. because of co-consiousness.. we almost double over in pain....

We want to cover our ears... anything to block out the words... anything... just anything..

We "feel" the pain... of our ex-husband... slapping our ear.. forcing air - the breaking of our eardrum.... the loss of hearing...
we hear him say "you think.. you think... who the "hxx" told you that you could think"...

That is what she brings to us... pain... pain... pain....

We hear... how... we ruined his life... how.. we are less than dirt..

we hear... how when we went into be induced for labor.. that when we fell.... "you whale... you whale ... you got yourself down there - you can get yourself up"...

whale... that is.. us... when we were 9 months plus pregnant...

we feel the kicks... and the words... you are worthless... worthless.. worthless....

and we hear the words... you contaminate... everyone with your being... you should kill yourself and do the world a favor....

yes,, she tells us "rid the world of an evil contaminat" get rid of us...

so... I haven't a clue right now... how to help us....

we are in unbearable pain.... just... unbelievable..

so if anyone has any kind words for her...

it would greatly help...

[nothemama8]

perhaps shes ready to talk to you and your T, coming to surface to get things out, hope we're making sense

[Kiya]

Free - let her write it out talk it out, draw or color it out, just get all that poison out! Don't let her do anything to hurt the body or system. just keep providing the means to let all the hurt out - but remember, that stuff is not who you are all of it is lies told to you by ppl who hurt you.

let it all out and let t help!!

I have so much love for you guys for supporting me.. for being here in my time of need..

thank you.. so so much...

[onlymedid]

I hope you are able to talk to a T about it. I know how hard it can be and like Kiya said, just try to write about it. Sometimes, when we can't talk about stuff or explain it in words, my T can either read or decipher what we are trying to say.

I don't think you are any of those bad, negative things. I think you are kind and caring.

Please take care and stay safe.

BJ

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((freewill and alter))))))))))))))))))))))))) She is the one who endured so much pain for others to not have to experience what she went through. She protected you from what you could not protect yourself. I am sorry she is in so much pain and as you experience and get to know her you too are feeling what she has for so long. Maybe you can embrace her for all she has done and why. I know it is hard because I am sure her pain is intense. My heart goes out to all of you.

BB

[wrenchergirl]

I don't know if this is helpful at all, you already may know it but... when it happens to me, like it did just this past week, the only thing I can do is hold on to my ***** and ride out the emotions. Then I thank the part for telling us and how brave the part is and how well they did their job. And that we are all okay now and the bad person/people cant get us anymore. The part did their job well and we survived and now we all can protect each other because we have skills and options that we didn't have before to protect ourselves and stop the bad person/people.