alters heard today

I went to yoga today - as t asked me to - and today's was all "restful" poses. One really made me feel exposed and the alters scared - mainly the littles. I'm doing so much better than in the past; i wouldn't have even done the pose, or before that i would have tried it, triggered, and run out crying. so i was there in that pose, and the littles were telling me they didn't feel safe, they didn't like it. I said "we're ok.... we're doing fine". they said they wanted me to stop the pose. I told them "we can hold it - it won't be much longer". they said - just because you can, doesn't mean you should - we're scared and it would be nice if you would stop the pose *for us*. oh. so i curled into a safer pose for them. Looking back, I see where they were starting to take control of the body in places and telling me they felt unsafe - they cross the feet at the ankles when ever that happens. So I mean -they're not too mad at me (because I did finally listen and do as they asked) but they're not real chipper either (since it took me so darn long to respond to them in the way they needed). I am not allowed to praise myself for it - but just to acknowledge that I did finally take care of them. We went to the store and they bought chocolate chips and ate several handfulls
so i feel a bit sick. but they were trying to self soothe and regroup. have been a bit disoriented since then.... and yet, i do feel like i did sort of do good self care. sort of.

(((((((((((((KIYA))))))))))))
I think you did a really good job I mean, you tested the waters a bit by pushing a little, but you also listened and backed down when the alters really needed it.
I understand about feeling like you want to praise yourself, but at the same time not wanting to because of the way the alters feel. I suppose it is sort of like tough love in a way....sort of. I mean, they won't get over some of the things that are hard without some sort of testing....if that makes sense. I mean, you don't want to push the triggers, but you don't want to sit back and let their fears and uncomfortable feelings rule everything, either.
K, I am kind of rambling, but I hope you understand what I mean...I'm listening!



BJ

((((fuzzy)))))
((((pachy)))
(((((bj)))))

oy... and they are telling me ALLLLLLLLLLLL about it. binging all day... and on bad things. this is the first major switching i've had since i started meds and i wondered if they were still there or what... but when they get a hold of bad foods, the mood goes right out the window.... i totally forgot what i wanted to say.
you're right bj, i don't want to be controlled by thier fears - but i also don't want to be sabotaged like this. grrrrrrrrrr.
i feel dizzy and out of it (like normal when they switch) and forgetting what needs to be done.
on top of it, i called t (on vacation visiting her family to help with new baby) and there was switching after that, too, trying to read in T's voice if it was ok for me to call (even tho she said it was before she left).... and i got a summons to do jury duty and that brought up a world of concerns....
one moment the world is FINALLY looking shiny like there might be some promise and WHAM it gets tipped on it's ear again. The parts are also making me comatose.. i mya have to gos sleep. grrrrrrrrr.

(((((((((((((((((((Kiya))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am glad you reached out to your t. I am sorry that everyone seems to have their own idea of coping. The chocolatiers certainly raise havoc on your system and I hope soon they will stop binging. I know it is rough when it appears that things have relapsed but please try and give yourself some time and everyone some understanding.

BB

yesssssss... gets interesting. gotta get off the chocolate kick. that's the thing - once it starts, i don't know how to reset the system.... cutting is one way.... or just letting it burn out after a few weeks....
i actually felt *really* bad driving home from the concert tonight. don';t know what the deal was, but i felt incapacitated and was afraid to drive (while on the freeway) and couldn't even get off it.... was confused and scared. all the lights were blurred and i was feeling ill. glad to be home safe.... mind, i am stumbling aroudn all over here.... maybe i just need a better night's sleep.
kiya

Please be careful. Hopefully it was someone who knew how to drive. Or was this a reaction to the chocolate?

BB

i have no idea! Gosh, i already forgot about it this morning. I have noticed on the meds that my eyes get blurry.... i will have to check the drug forum and find out if other ppl get that.