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#1
May 22, 2008, 12:22 AM
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Today marks the second year of the mothers death, she was one of our abusers. I am caught between missing her and being glad she is gone. I am so confused on how to feel myself let alone trying to deal with everyone elses' feelings.
This whole issue is causing me to switch alot. i have a headache of epic proportions. Is this ok to post? I'm not sure what I can "talk" about or what I can't. I certainly don't want to trigger anybody. I don't think I can do anything right anymore. Linda
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I am divorced and am a proud mother of three beautiful adult daughters. I have been recently made a grandmother, oh so happily, I might add. She is the pride and joy of my life. |
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#2
May 22, 2008, 01:12 AM
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((((((((((((((((((Linda)))))))))))))))))))))
I am sorry you're struggling right now. Those would be hard emotions to be in the middle of! Hope you can stay centered and safe! Kiya
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#3
May 22, 2008, 06:22 AM
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((((((((((((((((((((((Linda))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry this is such a hard time. I am sure you have such intense feelings. I hope posting here helps.
BB
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#4
May 22, 2008, 07:31 AM
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I've experienced a similar kind of confusion, it is hard, it hardened my heart, cause of feeling guilt for feeling rage/hatred,,,, all I can say for me, was that it took time..... but i focussed on who had the greater power over whome,,, and the quieter voice always said the same thing,, that is , the other person,not me, hope this helps ....i dunno, but thinking of you,as I read remember how precious you are..... alevin
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I ought to be playing piano again I ought to be doing this and doing that I ought to just be, and to be just music doesnt exist until somebody listens to it! |
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#5
May 22, 2008, 11:58 PM
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Thanks to all of you that responded, it helps just knowing someone else is listening or has the same sort of situation. I am so tired of trying just to maintain. I need a vacation from me.
L  When it rains it pours.
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I am divorced and am a proud mother of three beautiful adult daughters. I have been recently made a grandmother, oh so happily, I might add. She is the pride and joy of my life. |
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#6
May 23, 2008, 12:30 PM
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(((((((((((Notonlyme)))))))))
That's so hard. Please take care. 
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#7
May 23, 2008, 12:53 PM
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(((((((((((( Notonlyme )))))))))))))
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#8
May 23, 2008, 04:28 PM
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i know that different parts of me hold very very different feelings towards my mum. one holds good feelings and others hold bad feelings. the conflicting viewpoints makes it very difficult and confusing and i think it also causes some self hate.
I find it important to recognise that different parts will feel different things towards her and to listen to and respect each of those feelings/viewpoints. accepting that each of the feelings are real and valid have good reason for beingthere. it is hard, but can be done. when i have stressors like you do, i find it imporant to try to help my parts before i try to help others. self care is very important. sending you some warm thoughts ~ ~ ~ ~
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He said that we can email as MUCH as we want (100 times per day). Believe in this - it is challenging fears about being punished. It is okay to be seen. You are not a nuisance. "Too much" simply means exploration, not punishment/withdrawal. Trust in him.  Not looking at him is about keeping aspects of self hidden/secret. We know that is not the healthy choice. Keep working on this - you will get there.  Accept there are parts. Be kind and gentle with them. Working with parts and feelings is the key to happiness. We have been happy before when listened to them and accepted them and were open to feelings. Write in your journal - it is safe to do so. 
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#9
May 26, 2008, 03:12 AM
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you can talk about what ever you want, even if its triggering.
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Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die. R.I.P. Bandit 7-12-08 I love you I miss you. |
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#10
May 26, 2008, 02:34 PM
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(((((((((((((((bj)))))))))))))))
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#11
May 26, 2008, 04:27 PM
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((((((((((((((((((( notonlyme )))))))))))))))))))))))
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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