[ginniesky]

I have been dealing with DID for about four years now and i often wonder if i am just crazy and i wonder if i really have this different way of viewing things. my counselor say that i definately meet the criteria for DID but i don't want to believe her sometimes. I can hear some of the voices and sometimes i feel like i am not myself and i definately have memory problems but at times i am so ashamed at the possibilty that i have these other personalities living inside of me. i get so confused sometimes when one of them takes over and i don't know what is going on. i seem to know very little about how to deal with all of this properly. them memories i get are the worst and i often think that they are not real that it was just something i somehow made up you know. i also have trouble with bulemia and i used to cut but i haven't cut in a year the bulemia though has gotten worse. i just feel so lost like i am not even real like nothing is real anymore and i don't know how to get back to where i need to be. anybody got any ideas?

[Rose3]

maybe keep a daily journal - write about your thoughts,
your experiences, things that are meaningful to you,
things that interest you
About the bulemia - can you go to a professional if it's a
problem?
Are your personalities getting acquainted with each other?

[wanttoheal]

Hi ginniesky,
I understand having a hard time accepting this disorder. It feels rather unbelievable at times. My T said different parts believe different things about it. When I was first diagnosed, I tried everything to prove that I did NOT have DID. Some parts apparently still hold that thought.

For me it even depends on the day. I go back and forth. I have even told T, I'd rather be crazy than have DID but T says DID is better to have because it's treatable.

It's definitely nothing to be ashamed of but I so understand that feeling. The fact of the matter is that your brain is very smart and creative to be able to cope with stuff that one shouldn't have had to cope with. I do a lot of tap dancing so people won't know that I am so clueless at times. I've always done this but I didn't realize the extent of why I was doing it. I thought it was just to cover the fact I didn't have any memory of whatever they were talking about.

Does your T have experience in dissociative disorders and/or eating disorders? I first went to a therapist for an eating disorder. I had no idea about the DID. My T said the eating disorder part will take care of itself as I heal. Plus, for me, it's hard to work around behaviors that I have no memory of the before or after and oftentimes the during.

Do you journal? I find that helps me a lot. I have computer journals and paper journals as some parts do not seem to know how to use the computer (and some only seem to draw). I take them to T every week and that really has helped us.

Take care. We're glad you're here.