[crazy1]

Is is normal to fear that people are going away even though you know rationally that they are not? When my T is going out of town i totally freak out big time.

I don't know if it's "normal" but I have that same fear. In fact, I just left a message with T about it yesterday - being scared I was going to be abandoned because we were too close.

Have you been abandoned/rejected in the past? I have. And I'm hoping to unlearn that fear in T....but I know it will take time.

(((((((((((((((((((( crazy1 )))))))))))))))))

[wanttoheal]

Hi Crazy1, welcome
I struggled a lot with this in the beginning with T. I did not seem to have the capability to see that she would still be safe and willing to see me when she came back, if she came back at all. It does get better with time and consistency, knowing T is still the same person, still safe and still willing to see me.

For me, in the beginning, it wasn't attachment as much as it being about safety but later on I did have some attachment issues when she left. It all gets better, especially if you are able to discuss or write to T about it.

Journaling helped me a lot. If your T can make you a CD or tape, that helps too. I also email my T and that still helps having someone else hold my words for me.

Hang in there. Please keep us posted as to how you are doing. We care.

[onlymedid]

Yes, I have the same fear, but I know that I have major abandonment issues.

[crazy1]

thank you so much for writing me back

[iamtwilight]

(((crazy1))) - welcome to PC!

I'm the same way. I'm not terribly afraid of my T abandoning me, but mostly my friends and my family.

I see a lot of us dissociatives have these kind of issues. :-) Just posted to let you know you're not alone.

[crazy1]

I don't have any family and I am just beginning to be able to make friends. Guess that's why I do this more with my T--probably not the best person but that is where im at.

[wrenchergirl]

crazy1,

I had the same feelings that were really really intense with my T. For me it was I was extremely afraid for her safety, would she still be the same person, and would she still be willing to see me. Pretty much the same things as everyone has said, it seems. There was a long while that it was very very intense but after talking to my T about it, it did eventually get better. Just wanted to add my 2 cents. This issue does seem to be common among us. I never knew others felt this way either.

I've always had that fear with others too my whole life but I never realized what it was until I started talking about it. But the most intense feeling of this was about my T.

[crazy1]

Thank you for sharing this really helps