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#1
Jun 24, 2008, 05:34 PM
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First I would like to apologize for not being here as much. I am dealing with some....stuff that is really heavy.
One of my littles has been coming out at night and I am not too happy about it. I mean, it's ok that it's here and with my BF, but I HATE that I am not in control and I can't remember what she says. Normally, I am co-conscious, but when I take my sleeping pills, my inhibitions are gone. It makes me very anxious and nervous as I don't know what she may say when I take my meds. I am going to talk to my PNP on Thursday and see what she thinks about the meds. My T said that I need to tell her what I am going through. It is sort of a catch 22 because on one hand we are learning a LOT about my little and about why she is so angry with the other little. She is opening up more with my BF and trusting him a lot. On the other hand I don't like being so out of control. Ugh...anyways....I am very confused right now. BJ
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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#2
Jun 24, 2008, 06:37 PM
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((((((((((((((((onlymedid))))))))))))))
hope you sort things out sweetie .... thinking of you, please take good self care right now, Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
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#3
Jun 24, 2008, 10:26 PM
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((((((((((((((onlymedid)))))))))))))))))))
hope everything works out. take care! w/ luv, lily |
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#4
Jun 25, 2008, 07:57 AM
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Hi there ((((((((((((onlymedid))))))))))))))
 No need for sorries at all. We're happy to see you when you can come. I understand the confusion. It's great that you are learning more about yourself though. That will definitely help in the long run, though I know it's hard now. I hate feeling out of control too. It's hard to think sometimes that things are going on, and for me, it feels like it's going on behind my back (even though it's me). When I didn't have awareness, it was still going on, but I didn't think much about lost time because I thought everyone did it. Becoming aware is a step toward healing, but it can also be scary because I'm more aware that I'm not aware. That's the part I hate most I think- outside of the whole acting like an idiot sometimes, coming back to si behaviors, finding myself in a closet hiding from a noise, etc lol  Anyway, I'm glad you could stop in. Please keep us posted as you can. We care. 
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