[multipixie9]

HI Again,

I have been in various 12 step programs for addiction issues and things like co-dependency.

I attended a very good program called Celebrate Recovery at the church I attended. I got free from pain pill addiction, which was great.

However I also got burned out from letting people push me into too much leadership positions, beyond my level of genuine recovery.

SO, all that to ask this, Do any of you work a recovery program and have you found a sponsor who accepts you as someone with DID/MPD????

My sponsor at Cel. Rec. accepted that I was split, even though she didn't understand it up until a certain point. I let some angry alter write an email and this sponsor wrote back and said my alters were from satan and I needed to get rid of them. SHE HURT ME REALLY BAD!!!

I need to be back in a structure of some kind. I'm in an empty nest situation, and unable to work physically and I quit going to the church after that problem and burn-out. So, I'm getting too isolated and its beginning to scare me.

Gee, now I feel really dumb for writing all this. I don't want to be labeled a freak or a flakey person around here, too. If I get too many more rejections I'm afraid I really will turn into a hermit!!!

Why do people like that keep hurting me. I didn't do anything too freaky and she just blew me off. rats. Sorry I rambled on so much.

Bye from the stupid, freaky pixie nobody can like

(((((((((((((((((((( multipixie ))))))))))))))))))))

I don't have an answer for your question, because I'm not DID....BUT I just wanted to say that you are NOT flakey or any of the other bad words you called yourself in your post. You are supportive and kind and deserving of help and acceptance just as much as everyone else!

I AM in a 12-step program, but my sponsor really doesn't "get" any of my issues that I'm in therapy for. She accepts them, but doesn't "get" them.

I wonder if you would have more luck in a 12-step program besides "celebrate recovery"? I've found AA and NA to be realllllly accepting of all sorts of different people.

((((((((((((((((((((((( pixies )))))))))))))))))))))))) Be gentle with you.

[pegasus]

Hermits are us!

I'm sorry I don't know anything about 12 step programmes but how flippin' rude was that person that said your alters were from satan! That does make me mad!

((((((((((((((( All of you ))))))))))))))))))))

[thelostone]

you are not flakey or a freak. and i think she was a little too thin skinned to be a sponsor. I am not in any 12 step programs, but i agree that AA and NA are very accepting(hubby has been in both at different times). hugs to all the pixies

[Kendyll]

OOooohh that sort of thing makes me so MAD!!!!

Stupid people...

Some people (especially religious ones) really do think that alters are demon possessions. That sounds ridiculous to me, in this day and age, but that's just how some people are...Could be your church sponsor is one of those. Maybe you could find a secular/non-church sponsor?

My BF and I are both AA. He is looking around for a sponsor right now. I'll keep you posted on the progress!

[JudeeB]

I am in a recovery program for Co-dependency right now at my church. I will not choose a sponsor any time soon. I haven't shared my diagnosis with anyone. I have learned in the past 13 years that it's wise to only share with "safe" people. ( I have an accountability partner who I share everything with but my DID stuff)

Yet I have gained so much by being in program. I have finally had the spiritual awakening they promise.

I could only be pushed into positions years ago because on MY codependency. I so wanted to look like a "nice" person that I often said yes to things I really didn't want to do. Was that their fault? No if I said yes to things and experienced burn-out, which I have many times, it was my own doing.

Right now I co-lead a mid-week step study and I knew I was ready for it, and I love it. All of my remaining alters are not co-dependent. But we live in harmony for the most part now and they see the benefit of my being in recovery. I used to have an alter, Judith, who seemed especially drawn to spiritual things but she integrated and I have experienced this spiritual awakening on my own.

It was isolation, loneliness and despair that led me back to a recovery program over a year and a half ago. I'm on disability and so I had way too much time on my hands. I'd been in and out of 12 step programs for 13 years. The reason it never fully worked for me was my refusal to let go of control. Too many trust issues. Too many false ideas about love and being loveable, etc. I finally got it this year!

People not understanding our diagnosis doesn't make them bad. The professionals can't even agree on it and some even refuse to accept it as a legitimate diagnosis. So how can we expect the uninformed lay people to get it? It's an unrealistic expectation, one I have let go of. Perhaps we DID folks need to stick together and support each other's growth and healing!

One last thing. Emotional and spiritual growth is a life-long process for eveyone not just us.

I am so sorry you were hurt by that ignorant sponsor. I can't imagine how painful it was to be treated that way by someone you thought you could trust. But there are folks out here who accept you fully and who do understand.

((((((all the pixies)))))

Judee

[Monty_girl]

Hey Pixie

There are a lot of us here that are homebound. It's hard to be out and around ppl.

Sorry about the sponsor. I had a situation like that at a support group years ago. Thought she was OK with the whole DID thing, but when it got down to it she wasn't. I was really hurt. Reason why I don't have friends IRL, not many ppl aren't understanding of the DID thing. Don't want to be hurt again.

I tried AA, was kind of overwhelming. Have you thought about the Tuesday night support chat here at PC? It's at 10pm EST in the chat rooms. Might just help you get through this patch until you find a recovery group you feel comfortable IRL.

I hope I'm not rambling to much. I'm not really a hermit. I'm the crazy cat lady who has a house full of cats and talks to them all day.

So talk to ya later, crazy cat lady out.
Cya Lisa

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((((multipixie9)))))))))))))))

[multipixie9]

Thank you for being nice to me. It really did hurt to be told my parts of my mind were from satan. That was just wrong! I know she doesn't understand, but it still hurts anyway.

Thank you for reminding me I'm not really freaky. I kinda like being weird sometimes, but not freaky or flakey. I appreciate all the hugs from you.

I can't remember all your names so that I could make you a hug. So, could you just pretend I remembered your names and put them in the middle of a hug!???

((((((( ))))))))) - that's a fill in the blank hug for each one of you!!! =)

Leslie and the Pixies!

[multipixie9]

Pegasus,

You made me laugh with your Hermits are Us!!! hehe!!!

Are you from England or Australia?? Anytime someone says flippen I think they are British or Aussie. I like people from all over - it keeps things from getting boring, don't you think. That's some of the best of the internet - variety!!! whoo hooo!!!

Leslie and Pixies

[multipixie9]

Thanks for the encouragement. Your kitty avatar looks like I feel some days!

I know there are good people in NA and AA. What's sad is that Celebrate Recovery is a really good program also - its just some people are put off by it having just Jesus as the Higher Power. For me He is dynamite as a Higher Power. Sadly, there are bad examples in almost any program of any type.

Hugs to you(((((thelostone)))))

[multipixie9]

Thanks for the kindness Kendyll - your BF is very lucky to have you accept him, parts and all. I hope he can find a good sponsor. Sometimes they are in SHORT supply!

Hugs, Leslie and pixies